Yup.

I’ve had several passing ideas for what to update this blog with recently but most of them either get forgotten or by the time I get around to updating, I feel so drained from whatever else I’ve done in the day, that I don’t have any desire to write anything.

The latter is currently in effect, although I’m forcing myself to get through it as I’m typing this.

Work has been very time consuming and relatively boring. Same shit, different day, basically. I’ve managed to read large chunks of young adult novels while there. And by that I mean I’ve read all of the currently published books by Rainbow Rowell and am hungrily awaiting Landline to come out. Someone should get Rainbow Rowell an award for “excellence in building sexual tension that is quickly resolved in a few short pages at the end of the book”. She’s a pro at this.

I started reading Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (leather-bound physical) as well as The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider (Kindle). So far I’ve indulged more in the latter than the former, but that’s partly to do with the ease of lugging my tablet as opposed to a 5 pound hardback, but largely in part to do with it’s so much easier to read a fast-paced, modern vernacular young adult novel instead of a classic.

BUT ANYWAY.

Today was one of my rare days off and I spent the majority of it doing things that needed to be done, although all of them were spontaneous. I washed and changed my bed linens and drapes, dropped by about 20 large, overflowing bags of stuff at Salvation Army (mostly old fat clothes), picked up bread, and even stopped by the annual Glass Show which was actually a big disappointing. Apparently antique glassware is expensive. Personally I’d rather pay $55 for a set of crystal classes as opposed to one antique champagne glass, but that’s just me.

And now I gotta get my butt to bed so I can take as many hours and minutes of sleep as I can before I have to be rudely awaken at the ungodly hour of 4:45 am so I can be at job 2 at 6 AM tomorrow morning. I’m really not sure what I hate more: waking up before dawn or working until midnight. The upside of working the morning is I then have the rest of the day to myself to nap and exercise and do whatever and not feel anticipation for having to go to work later, which is largely the downside of working until midnight instead. Ya feel me?

I’m already looking forward to TOMORROW’S nightly bedtime when I won’t have to get up for anything except my body telling me I gotta pee.

Additionally, I had planned on participating in National Poetry Month (April) by writing a poem a day like I have for the past 2 years, but I definitely not written one single poem and I’m kinda sad about it. But I don’t feel any prevalent emotional baggage or recurring emotions that require the sweet release of poetry to do them justice. It makes me a bit sad actually.

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Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell: Book Hangover

I just finished reading Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.

It was a REALLY GOOD BOOK and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU ALL READ IT if you’re into quirky YA novels. I am. I love YA novels. I will probably always love YA novels. And as a new reader of Rainbow Rowell, I quite enjoy her writing style.

Although I was basically live-blogging my frustration throughout the book to Betsy while I was reading it. It’s about a girl named Cath (who’s full name is Cather and has a twin named Wren, get it? Cather-wren? Catherine.) who’s a total awkward as fuck introvert, obsessed with an, IMO, HORRIBLE fictional series that basically sounds like a super shitty mix between Twilight and Harry Potter, called the Simon Snow series, and she writes fanfiction about it. Like is totally immersed and absorbed into the world of Simon Snow and the SS fanfic world. It’s basically her coping strategy with life.

Anyway, I’m not gonna spoil this book for all of you who might actually want to read it, but one of the main characters if Levi and I’ve never shipped anyone harder than I ship Cath/Levi. Like so hard, I actually opened up fanfiction.net after finishing the book tonight and read some Cath/Levi fanfic because I was like, I NEED MORE CATH/LEVI IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. #bookhangover

I’m shipping them so hard, I even SIGNED UP (pretty sure I’m actually already a member, but it’s been so long) on fanfiction.net so that I may eventually write/upload my own Cath/Levi. Yeah. This is serious people.

The ending to this book wasn’t satisfying enough for me, and I think Rainbow Rowell left it kinda open on purpose, so people would write fanfics, which is hilariously ironic, and I kinda like it. BUT I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS.

SPOILER ALERT – DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE BOOK –

Like, DID CATH AND LEVI HAVE SEX OR DID THEY NOT? Because there’s a few scenes where depending on how you decide to read the passages, it could mean they DID, or it could mean Cath was still a frigid virgin, afraid of anything more than just clothes on making out. Which is what I personally inferred from the text, although again, I was a little confused and though MAYBE, just maybe, Cath was like, alright. Since I love Levi, I’ll have sex with him. I’m a little upset it was explicitly stated whether they did or not. I WANNA KNOW.

Actually that’s about all I really wanted to know. Because that’s what was really left untied. Cath and Wren’s dad becomes irrelevant after Wren’s hospital stay, but I was okay with that because most scenes with their dad were pretty ZZZZZZ. As were all excerpts of Simon Snow and Simon Snow fanfic. I literally flipped through about 70% of that shit without reading it. I couldn’t handle how incredibly horrible the story was. Like, MERWOLVES? Really? A castle surrounded by a moat? Characters named Agatha? No. No no no no no. SNOOZEFEST. Glad they’re not real books. Although there was a very short real fanfic and I almost just vommed seeing it. SMH.

 

More Books!

Day 10: 10 favorite novels.

Well, seeing as yesterday I mentioned that I don’t really have more than one favorite book series and I named off novels, I was planning on changing today’s to something different. But I think I might just stick to it and name some more great novels I’ve read in the past. Here goes!

1. Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn by Sarah Miller. This book is slightly confusing at first, as it literally takes place inside the mind of Gideon Rayburn (what a fantastic name!) through the viewpoint of a mysterious girl that we don’t find out the identity of until the very end of the story. But I remember reading it and thinking “I KNEW IT” when I found out.

2. The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I mean, obviously. If you haven’t read this book, you need to. That’s all I have to say.

3. Snakes and Earrings by Hitomi Kanehara. I judge books by their cover, as I mentioned yesterday. I also peruse the bargain priced section at Barnes & Noble and I often times find great books (like this one and Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn!) there. This is a tale of a Japanese girl full of weird raunchy shit, tattoos, and snaked tongues. I really liked it, and it’s a short read.

4. Looking for Alaska by John Green. This is his phenomenal debut book. That’s all I’ll say. You all need to read it if you haven’t, and reread if you have.

5. Feed by M.T. Anderson. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THIS ONE YESTERDAY!? This is one of my absolute favorite novels ever. It takes place in the future and it’s about a generation of humans with a “feed” (device) installed into their brains that automatically delivers everything the internet does today right to their brains and eyes, like some futuristic holographic type thing. More specifically, it’s about a girl who had her feed implanted later in life and it causes her problems. It’s an amazing story.

6. 1984 by George Orwell. Hello, classic. I was reluctant to read it after I bought, but I forced myself and ended up really liking it. Just like I didn’t want to read Animal Farm in high school, but I ended up loving it.

7. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. Following the negative utopia reel, I read this book during one of my high school summers as part of my reading list and I really liked it. It’s the same idea as 1984 – oppressive society segmented into harsh classes, dumbed down language (though it is expertly written, trust me) etc. It’s kind of an underrated modern classic, in my opinion. This book is also a movie, but I have yet to see it. I really want to!

8. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes. I don’t know what prompted me to buy this book, but I did and it was a great choice. It starts off kind of slow mostly due to the language. It’s about a mentally retarded patient who starts taking experiment drugs and ends up being a super genius far surpassing expectations. It was a really good book.

9. Witch Child by Celia Rees. In middle school, I was really into books that took place in the “olden days”. This particular one took me a while to read only because I was so busy with classwork, but it was a pretty phenomenal read. It takes place in 1659 and it’s about this girl whose grandma is hanged in public as a witch and she then faces the same speculations. One thing I always remember when I think of this book was a part where she talks about sewing I think money into her clothes or bed sheets or something like that.

10. Queen’s Own Fool by Jane Yolen and Robert Harris. As I’ve mentioned, I adore period novels, mostly set in the Renaissance and involving the British monarchy. This one involves Elizabeth I’s cousin, Mary, Queen of Scots. It’s a fictional novel depicting the life of her court fool, Nicola. I remember being so inspired by this book that I started writing basically a fanfiction.

I Used to Be a Bigger Bookworm

Day 9: 10 favorite book series

Okay, I’m pretty sure I don’t have TEN favorite book series. In fact, I’m pretty sure I only have one, so I’m just gonna name off my favorite SINGLE books alongside. Jesus.

1. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. I mean, obviously. I don’t even need to explain this.

2. 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I’ve reread this book a few times because it’s so good. I really think it needs to be made into a movie. It’s about this girl who kills herself and there are 13 reasons why – all of them are people. It’s SO GOOD.

3. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. This is probably my favorite John Green book for several reasons: A.) It’s his first book from the viewpoint of a female! B.) It’s really wittily written. C.) It’s so fucking good I not only laughed out loud, but I cried profusely. D.) I want my own Augustus Waters goddamnit.

4. Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier. Back when Borders was still in business, I was passing by some random section and picked this book up because I liked the cover art. I started reading a some random page and noticed a Romanian word and then I found out it took place in Romania. So I bought it. Probably one of my best purchases of all time. There’s a sequel that takes place in Istanbul and its equally as spectacular. This was one of those books that I was absolutely glued to and couldn’t put it down it so good. I was so inspired by this book, in fact, that I even did some fan art.

5. Burned by Ellen Hopkins. This was the second book I ever read by Ellen Hopkins (after Crank) and it is easily my absolute favorite. It’s about a girl who moves to Arizona to live with her aunt cause her dad’s an alcoholic or something (I haven’t read it in a while) and she falls in love with this guy there and it’s amazing and sad and beautiful and I bawled my eyes out for a hefty chunk of time after I finished it. I need to re-read it.

6. The Girl with the Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier. I read this book in middle school and it became an instant favorite. It takes place in merchant Holland during the Renaissance is about Vermeer’s famous Girl with a Pearl Earring painting. It’s a also an excellent movie starring Scarlett Johansson and Colin Firth.

7. Mary, Blood Mary by Carolyn Meyer. I’ve owned this book for many years and have reread many times. It was one of my absolute favorites growing up. I’m deeply interested in the Renaissance era in England, particularly the Henry VIII through Elizabeth the First era. This book is the first in a little series that is followed by Beware, Princess Elizabeth (also a fav) and Doomed Queen Anne. It’s about Elizabeth’s older half-sister Mary, known as Bloody Mary throughout history for her slaughter of Protestants, and her trials and tribulations in her early years under the reign of her father Henry VIII. It’s really good.

8. Candide by Voltaire. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I bruised my ankle bone and couldn’t walk for like a week. So I decided out of boredom to peruse my mom’s leather-bound books and read all of Voltaire’s Candide. I found to be not only extremely easy to read, but absolutely hilarious and wonderful and I told her that she needed to read it ASAP because she hadn’t read it yet. I had to read it for AP English my senior year and analyze the life out of it, but I still find it an excellent read.

9. Anatomy of a Boyfriend by Daria Snadowsky. I’m a sucker for cool covers and romantic young adult novels. This book has both of those things. It chronicles the coming-of-sexual-age story of Dominique and her newly found boyfriend Wes. It’s a really cute story that has a bit of a surprising twist. Apparently the sex scenes in it caused some controversy, but whatever.

10. Sweethearts by Sara Zarr. I nearly forgot about this book, but again it falls under the “cool cover, romantic young adult novel” category. This book is actually a little bit more than just another romance story. In fact, there’s barely any romance in it. It’s kind of a tragic little tale that left me yearning and crying at the end. BUT IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD.

That We Are Underlings

I finished it. 

Every single page of it.

I laughed. I cried. I snorted. I fell in love and had my heart broken by fictional characters in Amsterdam, and I literally LOLed every time I read “the Literal Heart of Jesus” and I wished with all my heart that someday I’d have my own Augustus Waters. Someone so amazingly confident in themselves, so heartwarmingly comforting, so absolutely and enduringly intelligent to the last page.

Goddamnit, why can’t there be an Augustus Waters equivalent in my life!?

Literally when I finished the book I was like WHAT IS LIFE. HOW DO I GO ON. I didn’t cry at the very end, surprisingly. But it’s been a while since I’ve read a book so quickly. I’m proud of my determination to finish it. It. Was. So. Fucking. Good. Literally shot up to my top favorite books and I will be recommending it from this moment on until the day I die. Therefore, if you have yet to read it, GO BUY THE FAULT IN OUR STARS BY JOHN GREEN ASAP AND READ IT. NOW. I’M NOT JOKING. DO IT. CLICK THIS TEXT, IT’LL GET YOU TO YOUR DESTINATION FASTER. 

And now it’s on to more books! I’m not sure which to begin next, but it might be The Probability of Miracles…or perhaps What My Mother Doesn’t Know because J1B insists that I read it, like, yesterday. Although I’m leaning toward the former. (I’M SORRY, B, I’LL GET THERE.)

I must also add Game of Thrones to my physical queue, as a chat with HNI has convinced me that I will probably like the books. I’d love to watch the show too actually – you know, when I have more time to watch tv serials and not drown in homework and jewelry sales.

On Anxiety, The Fault in Our Stars, and Feeling Attractive

Well, as I happily updated last night, my eyeballs are okay! I went in for an emergency eye exam after class and found out that in fact, my retinas are not detaching (yet, at least) but are rather in the same state they were last year – just thinning. They’ve been thinning for years now actually. I remember I was told by my old eye doctor in 7th grade that they were thinning, which sent me into a downward spiral or paranoia and anxiety for 2 years, until finally, one day in 9th grade Honors English, my friend Krista, tired of hearing me freak out about my eyes, yelled at me that IT CAN BE FIXED! And somehow, that simple frustrated statement calmed me down completely and I didn’t think about it again until very recently when I noticed floaters and flashes.

But, thankfully I’m okay and I don’t need surgery or cryogenics to freeze any holes in my eyes because there are no holes in my eyes, apparently. I bought milkshakes for everyone last night after the exam to celebrate. And then I took pictures of my wonderfully dilated doe eyes:

I wish my pupils were this huge at all times.

On a note that I will relate back to this topic, I read chapters 2 and 3 of The Fault in Our Stars last night by John Green. THAT SHIT IS SO GOOD YOU GUYS. I was going to stop at chapter 2 because I was tired, but I was like FUCK IT I can’t put this down.

I came to the conclusion that I wish Augustus Waters was a real person. Like, why can’t there be some attractive guy in my life who uses big words in witty comments about total the fear of total oblivion and asks me to watch V for Vendetta at his house and flirts with me incessantly? Why? Why can’t these people be real? Why can’t there be some guy out there who is perfectly sweet and interested and completely okay with my anxious-paranoia state of mind when it comes to medical problems like my eyeballs?

I really hope whoever I end up with (if anyone ever) will be able to adequately handle my mental problems with these things. Not that I have actual mental problems, but I drive myself insane with anxiety/paranoia when it comes to any medical complications. They always trump anything else in my life and I spend every breathing moment thinking of the worst possible scenarios of whatever affliction I have. It’s vicious.

On the bright side, finding out I’m okay made me feel a million times better, and so, I dressed accordingly. And I can tell I lost weight and I feel so damn good.