How I Made Getting Hit On an Awkward Experience: A Short Memoir

Last night, I went out with my friends to celebrate one of their birthdays and stayed long enough past the dinner to hit up the first hot and sweaty bar and drink a $5 glass of Angry Orchard. (It was so damn good.) Halfway through my glass and a little while after we snatched a table with chairs, I was peering around the visible vicinity, people watching and absorbing the general attractiveness of the males near me. I made eye contact with a tall guy in a blue shirt and snapback hat who was directly behind me earlier taking pictures with his friends, one of which was wearing a lime green shirt and nearly white khaki shorts.

A little time went by, my friends were getting drunker and rowdier, singing and dancing and laughing. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder, and when I turned and looked up, the tall guy in the blue shirt was standing bent over next to me. The following dialogue is how I remember our conversation going, to the best of my memory:

Guy: Hey how are you, I’m (forgot his name), what’s your name? *starts shaking my hand*
Me: Hi! I’m good, my name’s Viviana.
Guy: Mariana?
Me: Hahaha no, Vi-vi-a-na, like Vivian but with an “a” at the end.
Guy: Oh okay, that’s a pretty name Viviana, nice to meet you.
Me: *smiling, laughing* Thanks! Nice to meet you too.
Guy: So uh, are you two crazy girls? *gestures toward Krista* You seem pretty crazy.
Me: Are we crazy? Hahaha, I mean, she’s pretty drunk right now, so she’s a little wild.
Guy: Hahaha yeaaah, I see that. *Krista sings and dances* So listen, uh, I really wanted to talk to you and say hi, but uh, you know, maybe away from your friends… *gestures behind himself*
Me: Hahaha, um, alright…
Guy: So, do you wanna…
Me: *nervous laugh* ummm…
Guy: Oh hey! This is my buddy (forgot his name too, lime green shirt guy) he uh, hahaha, he wanted to say hi too.
Lime Shirt: *fidgets* no, hahaha, dude, it’s…
Me: Hey, how are you, nice to meet you *shakes hand*
Lime Shirt: *fidgets more, nervous/reluctant smile* I’m good, I’m good, hahaha
Me: Alright, hahaha that’s good.
Guy: So uh, yeah… I just wanted to come say hi…
Me: Hahaha, alright, um, well, thank you!
Guy: Yeah! No problem hahaha, uh… Hi! *waves and backs away*
Me: *laughs, waves back* Hi!
*end conversation*

Me: Did I just get hit on or did we both get hit on?
Krista: *sings, somewhat looking at me*
Me: Omg, I made that so awkward, he said hi and I said thank you and he walked away!
Krista: You’re supposed to continue talking to them. He wasn’t that hot anyway. It’s the hot ones you gotta watch out for when they come up to you and deal a line cause you gotta think like, how many other girls have you done this to, cause you sound like a pro.
Me: Yeah…
*end conversation*

And that’s the story of how I turned a rare occurrence of an attractive tall gentlemen of my age group hitting on me into an awkward situation. It’s not the first time, and it unfortunately probably won’t be the last either. However, I generally grab the attention of older gentlemen, especially those of the Arabic and African American communities, so making it awkward usually works in my favor rather than against it.

I wish I could be like a normal person and let this go, but it’s the last thought I went to bed with, and the first I woke up to. It’s not really that I wanted to get in his pants and wake up in some strange bed regretting bad drunk decisions. It’s more the fact that my lack of being hit on / dating / relationships in my youth has left me unprepared for when these instances actually happen nowadays. I freeze up and no matter how much I tell myself to be open to strangers talking to me in suggestive manners, I still seem to put out a “back off” attitude without really meaning to.

In fact, I have been told before that that is part of the reason as to why I’ve been unsuccessful in my love life. I’ve been the independent, don’t need no man cause I can do it myself girl, and it’s apparently intimidating. It’s a very thick wall I’ve built and I need to learn to take it down, because as much as I am still a strong willed independently thinking young lady, I also crave the affections of someone who cares enough to break down my barriers and accept me for who I am. (Isn’t that what we all want?)

I guess the moral of the story is that I still have a long ways to go and I must learn to grow from my mistakes. Maybe it’s okay to make things awkward. It takes guts to talk to strangers, and I honestly appreciate every guy (and lesbian) who’s had them and used them on me. Hopefully more will have them and I’ll become more accustomed and less awkward. But in the meantime, please feel free to laugh with me at my pain.

Retail Taints My Mood

Wow, I didn’t realize I hadn’t updated here in ~5 days. What is that?

So I went to see Juanes in concert on Friday night with my mom. It was a lot of fun. Before the music started, my mom disparted and got herself drinks and then by the end of the concert, I had found she had squeezed her way back into the pit, a few bodies away from me.

I had my camera with me, so I got some pretty good shots, especially since I was 4th and 3rd row from the stage most of the night. By the end of it, I was in 2nd row, almost in first, but people wouldn’t budge enough for me to get closer. It was okay though. because with my lens I was able to get up closer.

This was taken with my phone, not my camera.

The concert itself was fantastic. It was all in Spanish and the theater was filled with hispanics from around the Metro Detroit Area as well as quite a handful of white people like myself, who appreciate latin music. I personally greatly enjoyed the encore performance, as that was when he sang songs I knew the words to.

All that aside, today when I went in work, I looked over my schedule for the upcoming days that I work and realized that the next 5 I’m scheduled, I close every single time. I was half joking when I said it’s time to look for a new job cause the music playlist in my store is the shittiest you’ll ever hear, but now I’m legitimately serious. I’m fucking sick and tired of working in retail. I’m sick of customers, I’m sick of shitty pay, I’m sick of getting home at 10 PM.

Although I will say the one nice thing about working part time is that I do get days off, and oh god, they are glorious.

It’s time.

If any of you know of any fashion design related jobs, holla at yo girl. But seriously.

Travels & Ultrasounds

Today has been an interesting day.

My medical adventures included a root canal – which honestly wasn’t that bad. I felt some pain, but my dentist “topped me off” with anesthetics. It was really the whole having my mouth open for about an hour that was the worst. By the time she was cleaning out the nerve, I was like OMG CAN THIS BE OVER WITH ALREADY, MY JAW FUCKING HURTS.

I had to pick up antibiotics and pain pills after, and while I was waiting, I FINALLY found the kind of hair clips I’ve been searching EVERYWHERE for. I was super excited. I also went to Barnes and Noble and found some really great books that I did not buy because pssh, Amazon.

Then I went in to get an ultrasound. It was a relatively amusing experience. My ultrasound tech definitely had a sense of humor – she printed out screenshots of the ultrasound and circled my uterus, captioned it “my uterus” and also captioned my bladder as “my very full bladder” and then stuck them in a “baby’s first picture” envelope. I totally have that shit on my fridge. No, I’m not pregnant, btw.

After all my wonderful medical adventures today, I hit up DTRO with Kristen and we had a LET’S GORGE OURSELVES ON DELICIOUS FOOD evening. And also discussed me flying in to Boston at the end of her teaching gig there in August, and then spending a week exploring the eastern seaboard. I said yes.

The best veggie enchiladas I’ve ever had. I couldn’t finish them, too much food baby.

Now I just have to tell my boss HEY, I’m actually gonna be gone for TWO weeks back to back in August! Sorry! And also gotta see whether I’ll be getting surgery. Hoping I don’t, fingers crossed.

I’m pretty excited about my 3 day weekend this week. My upcoming schedules are pretty fucking glorious. I have like 4 days off in a row one of these weeks. I’m planning on traveling somewhere then. I don’t care if it’s just to like Frankenmuth or something. I’M GOING SOMEWHERE DAMNIT, and it will not be just DTRO or Ferndale.

DTRO & Curly Hair

Today started out kinda shitty. It was threatening to rain, and then it did. And I was sitting and moping around my house trying to figure out what to do with my life or where to go.

I decided the gym is always a good option, even though I didn’t really wanna go. But I went. Had a light workout because I’m a little bitch and made plans with one of my friends, Kristen, to go to downtown Royal Oak after.

From then on, it turned out to be a fanfuckingtastic day!!

We stopped at this tea place and got bubble tea and then had dunchen at Little Tree Sushi Bar and it was DE-lish. Although the plum sushi I got was awful and I couldn’t decide if the plum part was really salty or really sour. I thought it was just really salty until Kristen tasted it and thought it was really sour. My cucumber salad was superb though.

We also went shopping around at Paris and Lost and Found Vintage, among other stores. I bought this sterling silver and citrine ring I’d been thinking about since the last time I was there at Paris, and Kristen found this cute dress she ended up buying there that fit her very well and did all kinds of wonderful things for her boobs.

Lastly, tonight is the first night of the year that I’ve allowed my hair to air dry and IT DECIDED TO DO THIS:

It hasn’t been this curly IN A REALLY LONG ASS TIME. Like, YEARS. Now the trick is to preserve these curls overnight so I don’t look completely bad when I wake up tomorrow and have to do too much with it.

Church and Crystals

Remember the last time I went to church and blogged about it? And I mentioned there’s a chandelier in the center dome that’s like the size of my car? I snapped a picture of it today cause I decided I needed some Jesus in my life or something.

I thought I got there late enough today to not endure standing up and sitting down and making crosses over myself, but apparently 11 AM is still early cause the pope didn’t start talking until 11:35 and I was like sweet baby Jesus and kept looking at all the paintings of the saints and once again thought about aliens and what I learned about saints and architecture in my art history classes.

I hit up downtown Ferndale after and had a lovely time down there by myself. Although winter is really depressing cause there’s like no one else walking around willy nilly. I bought some new crystals (and a pendant) and a really legit cutting board that I don’t have a picture of (yet). I also bought energy chunks and date and coconut rolls from the Natural Patch.

I plan on exploring downtown Ferndale more in depth in the future. I know there’s more to it than just the west side of 9 mile, but I kinda feel like I need a buddy to do it with, you know? Same goes for downtown Berkley and downtown Birmingham. I’ve explored the majority of downtown Royal Oak though. Baby steps!

Last Night, I Got Really Drunk

So last night was maybe not one of the best nights of my life, but it was most certainly one of the best nights I’ve had in a really really really long time.

A group of us from my high school graduating class went out drinking in Downtown Royal Oak and we all got a little plastered, myself included. I’m a really cheap date though, so I was drunk by drink 3 and super happy by drink 4. And then I had a whiskey shot and I was in La-La fucking Land, because apparently it doesn’t really matter what alcohol I’m drinking, I’m always a really happy drunk.

This was followed by a lemon drop shot and another whiskey shot. I can’t remember if I drank anything else after that – I don’t think I did. But I did spill a whole glass of iced water on myself and one of the guys who I’ve had a mini crush on for ages drunkenly blew on my legs in a rather humorous attempt to dry me off.

I’m really fucking drunk here.

All in all, it was really nice to catch up with the few people that showed up. (That guy mentioned a statistic that said something about after your graduate you only really see about 10% of those people after.) And alcohol really is a very nice social lubricant. Were it not for the fact that we were all pretty drunk by the time me and Krista left, I’m pretty sure we all wouldn’t have been so friendly and happy to each other. But it’s nice. We hugged people we hadn’t hugged before and left feeling good that we decided to go.

The funny thing is my horoscope for today seems to be in line with this:

“The cosmos is empowering you now with the ability to look at your world and your life in a new way. You are granted a brief period of time in which you can evolve to that point. This glimpse into the possibility of complete immersion in the present will hopefully alter your outlook on all of life, and will enable you to reach for more for yourself and for those you love. Once you see that it’s possible, keep at it, Moonchild. Christmas may be over, but you may want to consider this gift from the universe a Christmas miracle.”

I read that and thought if this means I should go out and drink and be social more, I’m okay with that. As long as I’m not spending all my money, cause drinking out is expensive.

Well, damn.

Days 7 & 8: Bright & Ornaments.

I can’t believe it, but apparently last night my head was in the clouds and I TOTALLY MISSED A DAY OF BLOGGED AFTER OVER A YEAR OF DOING IT EVERY DAY. WUUUTTT.

It’s okay though cause I have pictures to make up for it.

I was down in Royal Oak a couple days ago to pick up fabric at Haberman’s for class and on my way home, I took a picture of the gorgeous lit up trees on Main Street. One of my favorite things about the holiday season is all the pretty lights everywhere. If I were a fly, I would be in trouble.

Notice the lack of snow. It was like 45 degrees that night. In December. In Michigan.

I bought this ornament last year at Target for like $5 because I thought it was just the cutest thing. I love ornaments with things in them – they make me inexplicably happy.

Speaking of Target, I dropped by tonight to check out their Neiman Marcus collection after my friend Krista had texted me earlier complaining it was really overpriced and she didn’t like the way it was being visually merchandised. I must agree with her on the price part – I’ve never seen a $99 dress at Target before until now.

But like I explained to her, their those prices for a reason. It’s Neiman Marcus. It’s not going to be cheap.