We’re Gonna Talk About Miley Cyrus’s VMA Performance

Before I start this post, I just want to say that I have 2 posts planned, WITH HANDWRITTEN NOTES I TOOK JUST FOR THE PURPOSE OF WRITING THEM WITH ALL MY THOUGHTS IN ORDER that I’m skipping in lieu of writing about the most currently pressing issue on the internet as of last night: Miley Cyrus and the 2013 VMAs.

Yeah. So let’s talk about that, shall we?

First, I would like to say that every year at the VMAs, there is always at least one moment in which I feel secondhand embarrassment due to someone saying or doing something stupid. This year’s was this moment right here:

While everyone has been going on and on about Miley during this moment, I would just like to point out that Robin Thicke’s LEG IS TWITCHING . And that makes this whole scene even more awkward and hilarious.

I would also like to point out that the stupid pink bears that everyone keeps saying look “bored” or “unenthused” ARE JUST FUCKING HIGH. THAT’S WHY THEIR FACES LOOK LIKE THAT. HELLO, INTERNET FULL OF STONERS. How hasn’t anyone else caught on to that?

Rick Diamond, Getty Images

Overall, I found this performance to be surpassing the realm of “trying too hard” and going beyond that. If Miley was trying to do something that was going to be talked about for a while, she succeeded. She also succeeded and some of the best reactions from the audience ever. I can’t get over Rihanna’s “bitch….you didn’t” face or Jaden Smith’s “WHAT ARE MY EYES SEEING!?” look of terror.  Although upon searching the picture of the Smiths, apparently their appalled faces were for Lady Gaga and not Miley.

Lastly, I wish she would’ve put that tongue away because it was literally out all night and it was giving me sentient nightmares.

And now that I’ve discussed Miley, I’d just like to say that I was TOTALLY EXCITED to see Iggy Azalea on national television in all her gorgeous Aussie glory and was saddened that she didn’t win the award for up and coming.

Iggy and Rita Ora

I also basically pissed my pantaloons when THERE WAS REALLY AN NSYNC REUNION even if it was only for 118 seconds. I had to suppress a real scream and let out a barely breathing squeal of excitement.

Also, let us not leave tonight without mentioning Gaga’s ass. I don’t know why, but I really approve of her wearing nothing but a couple of clamshells and a g-string the rest of the night after her performance. I also appreciate the fact that she mooned everyone at least once during the performance in that ensemble. Yo go Gaga, you put that fabulously toned ass on display!

Lastly, Taylor Swift was such a fucking bitch that it just gave me more reason to passionately dislike her and her shitty “music”. This is a gif from when One Direction accepted their award.

Her acceptance speech really annoyed me, mostly due to the fact that she said “I also want to the thank the person who inspired this song who knows exactly who he is because now I got one of these.” Apparently this is about Harry Styles, although I personally think the guy in the video looks like Jared Leto.

And that’s about all that matters.

Oh, and this.

Sorry not sorry.

Cake Cake Cake Cake Cake

Day 17: Presents!

I totally took a picture for today.

Here’s part of my present pile for people.

In other news, I really like this song, Birthday Cake, and I always get super excited when it comes on while I’m working out. The original is actually really short cause Rihanna didn’t finish it. This is the prolonged remix featuring Chris Brown. Yisss.

Throwbacks

My butt hurts.

I’ve pretty much literally been sitting all day long and right now is about the first segment of significant time since before I got in my car to go to work this morning that I haven’t sat on my ass for hours on end.

But it was worth it. I finished all my patterns for my halfscales for FD3 and sewed 2 of the looks and did flats and thumbnails. PHEW. Seriously you guys, this class.

Anyway, so I ordered that white violin I mentioned in a previous post this past week. Yesterday I was having regrets about spending my money like it grows on trees, but today I’m in the mind set of IS IT HERE YET!? I am so excited for this thing. No, I don’t know how to play violin. But that’s okay. I might learn a bit. And then stick that bitch on my wall. YES.

Also, whilst browsing Tumblr, I was reminded of the song Heartless by Kanye West. Remember that one? It was one of my favorite songs in it’s beginning days. Then it was heavily overplayed. I also really loved it’s predecessor single, Love Lockdown. Those were good days. I don’t care how much of a douchebag Kanye is or will be, I will continue to listen to his music because that fucker puts out good shit…Goddamn that was a good album though.

Speaking of throwbacks, today my Pandora stations were really throwing out the good stuff. I heard old school Simple Plan, Bowling for Soup, and Panic! At the Disco among many others. I was also reminded of The Raconteurs, whose existence I had shamefully forgotten about.

Lastly, I read this article on Thought Catalog today, and the Rihanna portion stood out to me. I follow her on Twitter, but I’m not the kind of Tweeter who actually goes and reads people’s tweets or spends my day on Twitter, so I’m kinda out of the loop. But that girl does tweet a lot about weed, partying, and psalms. It’s actually kinda hilarious. I approve. I want to be Rihanna’s friend. She got dropped by Nivea because they’re prudes, but that bitch don’t need Nivea. She got millions. Nom sayin’? Also, people need to get over/accept her Man Down video/song. That shit is meaningful and one of her best works. Seriously.

YOU’RE INCREASING MY DOPAMINE LEVELS

Okay, so, I missed tonight’s episode of Glee because I was out shopping thank you cards and googley eyes. Yes, googley eyes. I can’t say why yet. But you will all know soon enough. That said, I’ve made some progress on the fashion design 2 final project front. Flats = done. I just have to scan them and print them and then render them. But there seems like so much more left to do. Agh!!

Anyway, so I was thinking about Drake earlier cause J1B mentioned that A. he is Jewish (and I was like wuuhh???) and B. she doesn’t like his song Headlines, and I love it. So I listened to it. And then I listened to Find Your Love cause I hadn’t in a long time and I re-fell in love with it. It reminds me of Rihanna’s Man Down song/video which is one of my favorite of all time. And that I must now go listen to. But not before I share Find Your Love:

Also, HNI came and visited today and it was lovely. He was smiley, which made me smiley. Vicious smile cycle, it never ends. Like the nodding. But I love it. Every ounce of it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you never know how much you mean to a person. Which is kind of a shame in the sense that humans don’t open up more. We really should. We try too hard to pick each other’s brains in this endless cycle of chase me, chase you. Why can’t we just say how we feel? Oh I know, “consequences” or some shit, right? Fuck them!

Oh, and I want to share my poem from yesterday because I branched off my usual style again and I like the way it turned out. I think my favorite poems are the ones that flow out of me like someone else is guiding my hand cause they tend to be pregnant with meaning that I myself can’t figure out until months or years later. Anyway, here it is:

More Than That
“You know,” she said
Tear-stained from years of laughter and heartache,
“Life is more than this.
Than this feeling to please,
To be accepted,
To face dejection
In the hopes of grasping on a root that will lead you to the coconut milk of life.
In the hopes of that maybe one day
That maybe someday
Your sometimes maybe lovers will love you
Will caress you, hold you
Move inside you
Like they actually give a fuck how you feel
That they’ll lend you a hand
Instead of watch you kneel
Watch you pray for a never maybe
Stand aside as you have their baby
And refuse to call you their lady.
No,
Life is more than this existence
It’s wanting to face resistance,
Hoping to make a change
To turn another page
Of humanity
And be a part of it
Of every minute,
Breathing in sorrow and pain
Exhaling joy, feeling the rain
The rain on your shoulders as night falls
Alone on the street because you’re friendless
And no one cares to reach out a hand
And change this.
No,
This life is more than that,” she said.
And she closed her eyes
And went to bed.

Aaaand, Day 10: Describe your most embarrassing moment.
OH GOD. I’ve had so many embarrassing moments. Every time I think about the time I got pulled over in front of my high school and got my first ticket I flush like a radish.  Not to mention the 4th grade talent show. *Facepalm* I practiced the HELL out of singing Backstreet Boys’ Larger Than Life. Showtime comes and my microphone was off because I think I accidentally touched the on/off toggle. So everyone thought I was lip-synching. I remember waking up that Saturday after the show and crying in my bed for like 10 minutes from embarrassment. I was actually thinking about this the other day and have come to the conclusion that this doesn’t bring me as much embarrassment as it used to. But that ticket still does.

OH, AND LET’S NOT EVEN MENTION SOME OF THE AWKWARD AS FUCK THINGS I’VE SAID/DONE IN THE PAST TO GUYS I’VE LIKED. Okay, we’ll mention them. In 10th grade, I had a raging crush on one of my friends at the time, so I compiled a list of 100 reasons why he should date me. AND I GAVE IT TO HIM. THAT’S RIGHT. I GAVE IT TO HIM. I actually find that more hilarious than embarrassing, but pretty embarrassing nonetheless. I also may or may not have said the line “I can’t eat a lot right now cause you’re increasing my dopamine levels” to a guy within the last 2 years. I could go on, but I’ll stop there for my own sake.

Okay I lied, I just remembered that I think in…7th grade, I thought it was a fucking GREAT idea to perform Tomorrow from Annie while sitting pretzel style on stage crocheting, with a fucking BERET on my head that I crocheted. I hope you’re all laughing at that, cause I’m sitting here bursting out in giggles writing this.