Bum Knees and Barbie Dolls

Hi.

It’s been a really long time.

There have been quite a few instances where I’ve thought about posting here, but somehow I always ended up doing something else, forgetting to, neglecting to, so on and so forth. And it’s really a bit of a shame, because this blog is a form of therapy.

And I need that right now. Which is why I’ve decided to update it again.

First thing’s first: I hyperextended my left knee on Wednesday evening at my new job, while I was squatting in some new linen pants I’d bought the previous day that have absolutely no give and get crazy tight when I bend my legs. I heard two very loud consecutive pops and it felt like my knee popped out and back in again, and I lost my balance. I felt immediate pain, but it wasn’t really excruciating, just extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t immediately ice it. In fact, I still had an hour and a half left of work before going home, and when I went home, I didn’t take care of the injury, but rather walked normally out and about for 3 hours with my mom with very minor, almost unnoticeable pain in my knee.

I went to work the following day, and progressively felt my knee feel stiffer. I mostly limped around all night. The following day (yesterday) I went to the doctor because as with nearly every time I’m injured or sick, my brain goes into hypochondria mode and I jump to the absolutely worst possible conclusions, this time being “WHAT IF I NEED SURGERY AND I NEVER WALK AGAIN” or “WHAT IF I NEED SURGERY AND THEY GIVE ME ANTIBIOTICS THAT I COULD BE ALLERGIC TO AND I DIE?” because that’s literally how my mind works. Anyway, doctor told me to basically relax, monitor the leg, and go to the ER/hospital if it gets worse. I also went in to get an X-Ray, which came out normal, thankfully.

In the past 36 hours, my knee itself has been relatively alright, but my calf (possibly Achilles tendon?) feels sore when I walk and stretch it or when I’m sitting and I push onto the balls of my feet. I believe this pain has gotten a little bit better in the last 6 hours or so. I called the clinic a couple hours after I woke up and told them my fears about my calf/Achilles and they just told me the same thing – to keep monitoring it, relax, ice it.

While I was waiting to be signed in for my X-Ray yesterday, I noticed two pennies on the ground, and as I was picking up the second, I noticed a third as well. I picked up a penny at work the other day as well, when I was limping around. I often find that when I’m in times of need or feeling hopeless or having ongoing anxiety attacks, I find coins everywhere. And I find it really comforting. I recall Sylvia Browne saying that your loved ones on the other side will drop coins around you to let you know they’re there for you. I think my loved ones drop them around me to let me know everything will be okay. And I am eternally grateful, because I often make a mountain out of a mole hill when it comes to medical problems. I need to see a therapist about it, I know.

961440_10155388603335322_86264162_nOn a somewhat related note, the night that I hyperextended my knee and went shopping with my mom, I bought two Barbies. Before you judge me, I ask that you don’t. I’m already judging myself. But I’ve wanted to customize and photograph and design clothes for them for nearly two years now, and I deeply regret donating the two I had for over a decade. They were much better quality, I could bend their limbs, their hair was nicer, and most of all, I didn’t pay for them. Plus, I had a box full of clothes for them. I donated that as well. I think. I may have thrown it away now that I think about it.

I started customizing them the night that I brought them home. I painted freckles on their faces. I painted the blonde’s eyes green and her lips red, and I plan on coloring her hair so she’ll be a ginger. I can’t do much with the other one’s hair – it’s a medium brown. I could dip dye it in something vibrant, perhaps. The blonde one came with a ton of shoes, half of which I spray painted black earlier today and are currently drying in my garage. I haven’t started making any clothes for them yet, but I want to recreate the carnation dress that won me that fashion show. Maybe Mattel will see my extraordinary creations and hire me to develop tres chic couture for Barbies to revamp their popularity with the youths of today.

And then, after all that labor, I plan on photographing them. One of my friends asked me if I’d made a light box yet, after I told him about this idea, and I said no, but that would be an awesome thing for this little plan, and he said that’s why he brought it up. So there’s that as well. That bit should be relatively easy actually.

So those are my most recent developments. The jewelry store closed down so I’m at a new retail place. And I teach painting, which I was supposed to do tonight, but ended up cancelling because I really didn’t feel up for it with this leg. Plus, I binge watched the entire first season of American Horror Story yesterday and today, and you know what, I don’t feel too guilty about it. I liked Evan Peters before, but now I like him even more. Like this show has reminded me how attractive I find him. I didn’t start the second season tonight because I don’t really like watching horror at night, so I’ll probably watch some tomorrow.

Advertisements

Changes

I feel like I’m kind of at a crossroads in my life. Maybe. I think.

There are times when I don’t know what I want to do anymore. But the fire within me for being a fashion designer still burns, and I still feel the same about it: my ultimate goal is to make people happy through clothes.

However, I’m having a hard time finding a way into the industry and getting myself known and showing off my abilities. But I live in Michigan. And the metro Detroit area to boot. We are starters here. What we don’t have, we make. My problem is not so much the making of goods, but rather the providing of services. I don’t know where to begin to get my product out, besides like Etsy, where the competition is so thick, I get lost in the throng.

I need immediate turnover. I need people to see my stuff and say yes, I want this now. I want this today. Not add it to some wishlist or favorites group for a maybe later. This is the biggest challenge for me. Is getting a footing and establishing myself. But I guess before I do that I need to figure out exactly what my niche is going to be. I seem to really be drawn to making jewelry. And taking photos. I haven’t properly sketched clothes since college to be honest, and that’s a problem. I don’t enjoy the computer aided design aspect of it at all and I’ll be the first to admit to it. I loathe the Gerber program and while Illustrator flats can be okay to do sometimes, I generally find the practice tedious and annoying. I am not a technical designer by any stretch.

But I like coming up with concepts and ideas and little details. I like making color palettes and organizing things and looking at things from different angles to better understand them. Nonetheless, I still feel lost. I know what I’m good at, but I tend to forget and think of myself as not being good at anything worth while. And then it’s a whole whirlwind of “BUT HOW WILL I SUPPORT MYSELF IF I CAN’T DO X AND Y!?” It’s a tumultuous mental journey that I’ve been having far too often lately and I need to figure out a way to get out of it. Like, asap.

On the bright side, I have faith things will turn around. They always do. There is an ending to every journey, so new ones may begin. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I do know it will change. Everything always changes.

Motor City Comic Con Was Actually a Ginger Convention

Okay so, I’ve been procrastinating writing this post for like an hour and a half because agh, fuck, the internet is distracting and there’s pretty pictures.

BUT ANYWAY, so this weekend I attended my first nerdy convention ever: Motor City Comic Con and it was a BLAAAAST. Alyza and manfriend were courteous enough to pick me up and let me crash with them at manfriend’s mom’s apartment for the weekend, and I got in free via being a photographer for XICW.

On Friday, XICW didn’t perform, so we just hit up all the exhibitors and artists and I ¬†FOUND TUXEDO MASK, who I kind of ended up stalking a little bit throughout the weekend because he was there dressed in costume all 3 days and an easy target for my camera lens. So consequently, I have a plethora of photos of this kid. He fucking threw roses at the audience during the costume contest and walked around holding a rose to his nose ALL WEEKEND LONG. HE WAS MY FAVORITE.

Friday night, I discovered Alyza and I were sharing an AIR MATTRESS. I make it sound really bad, but it was hilarious more than anything else. Before manfriend went to sleep, he came in to check on us and I was wobbling around on it while Alyza was giggling her face off. I’m pretty sure the soreness I feel in my triceps is from sleeping on that damn thing.

Saturday was a fantastic day. There were redheads EVERYWHERE and I was in ginger heaven. It was the most packed (the line wrapped around the building nearly twice and from the tags I’ve been stalking on social networking, it was about a 3 hours wait to get in) and there were SO MANY PEOPLE IN COSTUME it was fantastic. Of course I took pictures of as many interesting ones as I could. UNFORTUNATELY, I somehow didn’t take a picture of the guy dressed as fucking GREEN MAN!! from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Idk wtf I was thinking there cause I totally ran up to him and tapped him on the shoulder to see if I had guessed his costume right.

They were so fabulous, I almost couldn’t handle it.

I skipped the first half of the XICW show to take pictures of the costume contest which was very amusing (a guy dressed as Where’s Waldo kept peeking in and was heckled by the accouncer) and the girl dressed at Loki won. She doesn’t look that happy, but I’m pretty sure she’s just really socially awkward, and that’s totally okay.

Saturday night was really long post convention. We had dinner at Hooters and I got a free meal because my food was mega late. The manager delivered it and apologized. I was like okay! Then I think we went to the after party which we thought was supposed to be like all the vendors and famous people (OH YEAH BTW STAN LEE, NORMAN REEDUS, MARINA SIRTIS, LOU FERRIGNO, AMONG THE CELEBS THERE) but turned out to be some vendors, a most of the XICW crew, and fans.

This happened.

Then we went to an after after party at this bar called Stingers. I should mention that I was 100% sober the entire time this weekend (only because I’m on antibiotics) so I was drinking water and observing everyone making fools of themselves and trying to hook up. It was amusing.

Sunday was slightly depressing. It was a little like Friday in terms of amounts of people. It was still pretty packed around 12-2 PM and then slowly started dying out. It was the day I ran around and spent too much money on art that I had been stalking all weekend. My favorite purchase is this original fan painting of Ron Perlman as Hellboy which I talked down from $50 to $37.

My second favorite purchase is KICKASS HUNGER GAMES POCKET WATCH which I paid $40 for (totally overpriced. I didn’t even try to talk this down) and I keep popping open and snapping closed with too much flair in my fingers.

I also bought this cute Powerpuff Girls print and framed it in this fancy frame I spray painted gold today. #craftybitch

Friday and Sunday I talked to a good number of vendors. This one adorable guy who I bought a print of an octopus from was probably my favorite – he was really nice and had a great artistic aesthetic and I gave him my business card. Also, these two guys that made pixelated magnets and keychains were very friendly and I liked them a lot. YAY FRIENDLY PEOPLE!!! <3

Look at them. They’re so cute.

All in all, it was a great weekend and I’m glad I decided to go (I was debating cancelling). My right shoulder still hurts from carrying ~30 pounds of purse all weekend. ALSO, I wore my fox ears all weekend long (and my tail was attached to my purse) and had several people tell me they liked them and several more touched/scratched them. I was tempted to purr every time. But I’m pretty sure foxes don’t purr. Da fuq.

I’m A Kickass Cook.

Today I cooked this:

And this:

Prepare yourselves.

Food porn is on the way to Vivography.

I also went to see my high school’s spring musical tonight with my brother. These are my observations:

1. A lot of the high school girls ARE REALLY SHORT wtf?
2. When I was in high school, there weren’t a lot of people who did drama club, but they were way better vocally than everyone who sang tonight.
3. Reserved seats. Really? Really?

Why is Life So Busy?

Okay, first of all, let me say that I’m not COMPLAINING per se, as I love da $$$ and the commish, but goddamn, I’ve been working a lot lately and my schedule for the next month is very booked up, mostly with work, but also with events.

So, secondly, holy mother of god events. I’ve been getting invited to so many things lately! And again, I’m not complaining because it’s nice to be wanted, you know? But everything is so like TIGHTLY KNIT TOGETHER IN TIME. Like I have ~5 or 6 things/places I have to do/hit up this weekend alone. Damn!

Like for real people, I didn’t imagine my post graduation time to be spread so thin, like fatty homemade butter. But, just so the universe doesn’t do some kind of karma on me, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!

Anyway, so I got my 50mm lens in the snail mail today! I quickly tested it out when I opened it and it. is. AWESOME. Super excited to be able to test it out more in depth when I have time and the weather is nicer. And that better be soon because I AM complaining about this: IT’S APRIL 24TH AND I’M FREEZING UNDER MY BED COVERS BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING 30SOMETHING DEGREES OUTSIDE. It rained, snowed, fogged, and it was sunny today. Get your shit together Michigan, goddamn.

Check out that legit ass packaging!

On the bright side, I got a new Lucky purse today and it smells like the leather gods have blessed it with the godliest leather scent in Leather Land and everyone who saw me sniffing it at DSW today gave me weird looks, but they have 0 idea what they’re missing out on, and that’s okay, because I totally don’t mind hoarding that divine scent all for my olfactory nerves.

About Dropping a Lot of $$$

SOOOOO, I sold my d3000 today. And I just ordered the d7100 with 18-105mm lens from Amazon and I feel like I’m gonna vomit.

Although the vomiting feeling is really coming from eating avocado and boiled egg. NEVER AGAIN. That shit does nothing but give me cramps and lower-back pain. FOR HOURS. NEVER AGAIN.

Anyway, I’m slowly going from shocked at how much money I just dropped on this camera, to excited about it’s arrival on Wednesday. Abouts to go HAM on some new photography, though, oh shit!

I almost dished out some more $$$ for a Galaxy tab 2, but I keep telling myself I don’t NEED one. Cause I don’t…it’d be nice, but I really don’t NEED one.

What I do need, however, is more camera lenses and I may just go peruse Amazon’s Nikon selection.