Panties & Doucherism.

So, on my nightly Tumblr peruse, I found this fantastic little drawing that basically encompasses my life:

Except, it’s more like *I have over 200 pairs of nice underwear, and no one to show them to. And that’s a true story. I actually picked up 2 more pairs yesterday from Victoria’s Secret because I had free panties coupons. I accumulate approximately 12-24 new pairs each year that way. I love it! BUUUUT, I really do wish I had someone else to appreciate the awesomeness of my massive collection.

On an unrelated note, somehow I got to be on Twitter and have started following Matt Grevers, Michael Phelps, and Ryan Lochte, and I looked through most of their TwitPic uploads. I’m currently still flipping through Ryan Lochte’s and the further I delve, the most amused I am. I’m also reminded of a post I saw yesterday on Tumblr where someone captioned a picture of him biting his gold medal with his grill on as being a douchebag, I loled because I was like damn, it’s true. I can’t quite decide if he’s the assholey kind of douchebag, or just one of those douchebags that exudes coolness. I think I need to know him IRL to make a legit opinion.

Said Tumblr post.

Also, he totally has Lochte merchandise on his website, including these Ray Ban style doucher glasses:

I want to hate it all, but the whole thing not only makes me laugh, but makes me admire him just a little bit.

More Olympic Thoughts.

Every 4 years when I watch the Summer Olympics, I always get in a hyper-fitness mood. I watch these people break world records and lull myself into thinking that I could totally be like, half as good as them. Of course, I know I can’t – which to the optimist’s point of view, is like setting yourself up for a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. But I’ve never been very athletic (unless you count my legit boss skillz in handball and gold-medal excellence in grunting during tennis) and getting my body into Olympic shape would take A LONG ASS TIME. Although, I would love to be that fit.

I was watching swimming and gymnastics earlier and I thought to myself, man, sometimes I wish I had swimmer’s arms. But then I thought no, I’d look far too top-heavy. However, I would love to have a gymnast’s butt. They have the most spectacular butts. If you’re watching the Olympics this year, please tune into the gymnastics and stare at everyone’s butts. They’re fabulous.

Also, team USA really got their asses whooped by France in that 4×100 mens freestyle relay tonight. They were so close, but France forged ahead those last 10 meters. Touché. ALSO, why did Michael Phelps even participate in the individual 400 IM? He didn’t train for it, so what was the point? 4th place was embarrassing to watch. 

At least Ryan Lochte’s doing quite well this year. Seems like he’s the one to watch – competitively and eye-candily. Although I was reminded of the stunning Matt Grevers and his 6’8″ frame tonight during the 100m Backstroke and was hurtled back to 4 years ago when the Grevers-Lochte-Phelps trio was my swimming crush. *sigh*

Matt Grevers is a beast.

Lastly, I’m a little sad to find out that Ian Thorpe is not competing this year. Although I don’t think he competed in Beijing either. He’s getting old anyway, but he is such a babe. I remember watching The Thorpedo in Athens and Sydney. Bloody brilliant. They don’t call him The Thorpedo for nothing. ETA: He failed to qualify for the O

Ian Thorpe

Olympic Thoughts

I was browsing my Facebook feed when I saw that swimmer Dara Torres had written an article for USA Today, talking about how weird it is to be at the Olympics and not be competing. Previous to that, I had seen a photo of her at the Olympic Village in London talking to the press and I thought to myself “WOW she’s competing again this year? That’s fucking awesome.” Clearly I was disappointed to find she is not.

I’m also disappointed to have found out that I will be working tomorrow when NBC airs the opening ceremony. Luckily though, I know that the opening ceremony is like, HOURS long, so I’ll only miss the first 2 and a half. However, I’ve also realized that this year sucks harder not just because of work, but because of school as well. I will be cooped up the majority of the Olympics, and will not be able to enjoy them live. Not that stupid fucking NBC like ever shows anything Olympic live anyway. I bet they wouldn’t even do it if it was in America.

But still – I always look forward to the Olympics. My first memorable ones were Sydney 2000. I had just gotten a TV in my room and I don’t remember if I was sick or something, but I remember being in bed and my dad taking care of me…or maybe just bringing me breakfast, and I was watching them. It was thrilling. That’s when I first really understood and grasped the concept of the Olympics.

And then the Olympics in Athens in 2004 were quite exciting as well. I remember that year I took it upon myself to chronicle the achievements of all the Romanian athletes on a piece of paper I’d torn out from my diary. I had that paper for a few years afterwards, for posterity’s sake. I also remember that was the year Michael Phelps started to get attention. I don’t remember his achievements in 2004, but I know the buzz started.

And then the 2008 Olympics in Beijing were certainly memorable. Not only did Michael Phelps pretty much make his name unforgettable with 8 gold medals, but the wunderkid that is Usain Bolt did too. That man shattered records. I’ll never forget watching him run faster than my poor legs will ever hope to carry me and everyone’s minds being blown in those 9.69 seconds of that 100 meter dash.

I remember in 2009 when I went to Jamaica, I rode this like…air-carriage thing and got off at a little stop that had shops and almost like an outdoor museum with interesting facts about Jamaica. One of the pillars was about various famous Jamaican athletes. Asafa Powell had one side of a pillar to himself. But in an empty space on it, there was a golden plaque that mentioned that Usain Bolt had broken his records and he was no longer the fastest man in the world. I should’ve taken a picture of it, it was kind of hilarious.

Anyway, I really hope I’ll find time somewhere in my busy schedule to watch the Olympics. Cause I love that shit.