A Few Things

Thing 1: I’d really like to get myself a set of Tarot cards. So far I’m drawn to the Dreaming Way deck above all others. I’ve also thought about designing my own deck and doing my own hand-drawn, hand-painted designs. I think that would make the deck even more energized than just buying it off the shelf. But it would also require more time and energy than just giving Amazon $14. We’ll see. It’s in my wishlist.

Thing 2: I’d like to get back into meditating more often again. While reading about Tarot vs. Oracle decks/cards, I found my way to alpha state meditation. What is alpha state of mind? Great question. According to this little article, it is:

The electromagnetic pulse of planet Earth is known as the Schumann Resonance. Although there are fluctuations, this planetary heartbeat maintains an overall measurement of 7.8 Hz. When we relax and slow our brain waves in meditation down to the alpha level – between 14 and 7 cycles per second – and in particular 7.8 cps, we are meshing with the Earth’s deep rhythm and we enter our psychic realms.

So of course I went on Youtube and found some guided meditation videos to help me try it out. And I will be doing so tonight.

Thing 3: Today I was playing around with my crystal quartz pyramid. I stuck it on my forehead (it always makes me feel a lot better about anything and everything when I do that) for a little bit, and then decided to put it on top of my head. After maybe 30 seconds, I tipped my head backwards a little bit and it fell off and shattered in the corner. I’m really rather upset about this for several reasons.

I don’t feel like it’s going to work like it should anymore now that it’s broken and missing a chunk.
I FEEL BROKEN AND LIKE I’M MISSING A CHUNK NOW THAT I’VE HELPED IT ON IT’S WAY TO BEING BROKEN AND MISSING A CHUNK.
Sigh, I definitely feel the need to buy a new one now and they’re not cheap, which leads me into…

Thing 4: I recently got bumped up to low end full time hours, among other kinda yay things at job 1. This means more $ which will be nice. However, I’m desperately trying to save my money for many reasons including:

– Amanda’s wedding and related activities requiring $$$
– Really want to get Chromecast which is not expensive, but would like not to cut deeper into my pockets at the moment
– Desperately need to get my hair cut and colored
– Bills bills bills!!!
– Would love to travel soon (not far, maybe like Chicago or somewhere up north) for a weekend, always need $$$ for that
– Spontaneous events, such as salsa dancing (might/will make a post about that soon)
– General accumulation of “wealth”

No matter how much I’d love to get away from our current system of monetaryness (???) the world is still heavily and prominently dependent on money and therefore I still need it. Sigh.

At least I’m not moping about my nonexistent love life anymore. (It’s still nonexistent.)

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Acknowledgement.

I have a philosophy on life that goes like this: to acknowledge is to ignite the fire that yearns to burn. 

I often try to remind myself of this, in various phrasings, as a mantra to help me stay positive. Sometimes I slip, like any human does. Getting back to work this weekend has been one of those times. The longer I work in retail, the more I find myself beginning to dislike, to hate, to loathe people. I find myself spilling out negative energy, and it’s like I can actually feel it pouring out of me. Like it’s some kind of sentient cloud surrounding my body. And I hate it.

And I hate that I let myself absorb the negative energy from people. And I hate that I dwell on it. And I hate that it consumes me. 

Today my horoscope suggested I start meditating as a way to center myself. I’ve actually considered doing that for a long time, so it was kind of a nice prod in the back. The last time I seriously meditated was pretty wonderful and I felt much better after doing it. I remember being in a sort of trance, like when I’ve been under hypnosis, and not being entirely sure if I was in a trance or not.

The only way forward is to think positively, to smile through the pain, to push out the negativity. To pull it off my body like spiderwebs clinging to every inch of me. I refuse to be pulled down by other people’s energies! I am not fit to harbor negativity.