This One’s For You, Em.

Dear Marshall Mathers,

Earlier this month when I said that Billy Talent are lyrical geniuses of my generation, I probably should’ve parenthesed (?) you in there, because there are few people out there who can spit out a rhyme like you can. So let me start off by saying that I love you, I love you, I love you. I have loved you from the first time I heard Slim Shady playing on 93.1 DRQ over a decade ago and I have continued to love you through your entire musical metamorphosis.

I don’t remember when I learned you were from Michigan, or even when I learned we used to live in the same area and went to the same school, but I remember feeling unbearably proud. I am still unbearably proud to say that yes, I used to attend Lincoln and that yes, 8 Mile was right there and that yes, I did actually used to live a few blocks down from your often-rapped about home on Chalmers.

But going back to your music, and especially your musical metamorphosis – I don’t think I’ve ever stuck around a musician who has changed their sound for so long. You went from this punkass white kid with a semi-squeaky voice, rapping about killing bitches to this mature, beautiful man rap-singing about the saddest shit I’ve ever heard in the form of the song Space Bound. I don’t think I could be prouder to just…be from the same place as you.

And that’s another thing. I feel like a lot of us here in Michigan, and if not a lot, at least me, feel as if even though we don’t know you personally, we act like we kind of do. For example, I know a plethora of people who know you personally, so I guess I could say I have 1 degree of separation in many directions. Also, I’m still pretty sure I saw you driving once and that was one of the best days of my life. It is a goal in life for me to meet you some day. I will bask in the ambiance of your white boy accent and probably foam at the mouth just because.

I hope you continue to make music and I really hope you get your ridiculous titillating and shocking shit back. Remember when The Slim Shady LP came out and everyone was beyond outraged? Yeah, come on Em, gimme some ‘o dat. I wanna listen to you go on about outrageous things like throwing bitches in the lake. Stan was a ground-breaking song. I want more. I also wish you’d get your squeaky punkass voice back. I appreciate your matured deep man voice, but god…The Slim Shady LP and The Marshall Mathers LP were just phenomenal pieces of work.

Much love,
Forever a fan

P.S. When I was about 12 or 13, I totally bought a hoodie from Steve & Barry’s just because it said MARSHALL on it, in your honor. Dedication, homeboy.