Externals

Today’s post comes with this quote in mind, which I mentioned in an earlier post while I was watching season 2 of Borgia:

If you are plagued by externals, it is not they who trouble you, but the importance you give them. (Marcus Aurelius)

I believe in this phrase so immensely, I repeat it to myself constantly, so that I don’t forget it and that I heed it’s message as much as I can. There are aggravations in my life right now caused by people who are not on my good side, but you know what, it’s exactly how this quote says – it’s not really them who are bothering me, but rather the importance I’m giving them.

And so, I have been practicing not giving a fuck anymore about what people say about me or to me if it is destructive or negative because it doesn’t matter. Let them have their opinions. Let them seethe in their negativity. I will not add fuel to their fire. I am nobody’s whipping girl.

Borgia Obsession

Let me tell you all how challenging it is to pace myself and watch only one episode of season 2 of Borgia at a time.

I just finished the first episode, and I’m going to practice self-control and not watch another episode. It was a great season starter, and I fall more deeply in love with Cesare as the episodes go by.

Last night I watched a behind the scenes thing for season 2 with Mark Ryder (Cesare) as the interviewee and one of the things he talked about was that in preparation for season 2, he hit up the gym – a lot. WELL LET ME TELL YOU ALL, THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT.

Not only does he have the whole sexy bearded man with flowing long hair thing going on, but those enhanced muscles only aid in making him look extraordinarily sexy. I mean, I literally might pee my pants staring at this man. Omg.

I have lost my underwear.

Anyway, during one of the scenes, Cesare is reading a book by Marcus Aurelius, in which he reads aloud “If you are plagued by externals, it is not they who trouble you, but the importance you give them.”

I found this to be exceptionally poignant and utterly true. If you’re being bothered by outside forces/people that you cannot control, it is not those forces or those people who are truly troublesome to your well-being, but rather the acknowledgment and the value which you allow them to have in your life.

For example, I work with my ungrateful cousin who purposely takes longer routes around the store to avoid the jewelry counter when I’m there. Her presence is bothersome to me. Today as I saw her pass by, I realized that I did not feel the general hatred I usually do when I look her way, and further realized that she is really rather insignificant in my life and does not deserve any amount of emotion from me.

It is a challenge to finally realize this and to implement it, but goddamnit, it’s among the most freeing feelings in the world.