I’m Okay, I Am.

I feel like I’ve definitely been neglecting this blog and I’m not exactly okay with that.

I’ve been super busy with work for the past 2 weeks though, since it’s the holiday season and retail be crazy as fuck. I’ve made a plethora of sales though, and a few of them have been on the higher end, so that makes me happy. I’ve always got a great pile of gifts under my tree for my family, which for whatever reason also fills me with happiness.

My mom is still driving my absolutely crazy. She has these moments when it’s like she transforms into this ultra dragon-lady cunt and I’m like what the actual fuck is wrong with you and why the fuck are you yelling me? It’s so aggravating. I need to the get fuck out of this goddamn house before she gets worse because I cannot handle these bipolar attitude swings. Last night she called me to ask where she should park her car and I said to park it wherever the heck she wants. Next thing I know she’s yelling at me for having an attitude and I’m like – what? I did not have an attitude but I WILL have an attitude if you tell me I have one when I don’t. That shit really pisses me off.

Earlier she was doing something in my kitchen and started harping about how the drying dish sink is disorganized and you can’t place things in it correctly. I just wanted to smack her and tell her to go the fuck to bed already. I used to look forward to days when she was off from work, but now I find myself wishing she would work even more because she just pisses me off.

I’m at a weird point in my life right now. I can feel it’s like some kind of crossroad. I know I’m nearing a time when I need to start establishing my own roots (and moving the fuck out of this goddamn house) and sever the coddling umbilical cord between myself and my parental household. But I don’t have the funds (yet) to do so and do so in a “safe” way. And by safe, I mean in a way that will allow me to not come back because I can’t support myself.

It’s really distressing and I’m trying my very best to keep a positive attitude and mindset about everything. I’ve felt attacked by negative thoughts and attitudes and people lately and it feels like poison coursing through my veins and I absolutely fucking hate every minute of it.

*breathes in*

Happy holidays!

My Dad’s Reaction to My Piercing is That of a 5 Year Old’s

So as I mentioned last night, I played the “let’s see how long it takes for my family to notice my nose piercing” game.

As it turns out, not too long, but amusingly long enough.

I was sitting down eating my lunch after the gym, my dad was changing the trash, and mid sentence he goes “WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR NOSE?” and I don’t think I got to say anything really, and he said “IS THAT A HOLE? IS THAT A HOLE IN YOUR NOSE? DID YOU PUT A HOLE IN YOU NOSE?” as if asking the same question 3 times made it not real.

I told him yes, to which he kinda got pissed, walked away to change the trash in the bathroom, and came back and said “Do you think you look prettier with that thing in your nose?” and I just stared at him, chewing, and then looked back down at my food. Then he said I have dubious friends, and walked away with the trash.

Since then, he has been giving me the silent treatment/pretending I’m not alive. It’s actually genuinely amusing because like…seriously? I’m pretty grateful that he wasn’t more pissed and demanded I take it out or something ridiculous.

I’m so glad that my first tattoo will not be visible for him to shit bricks over. Cause I’m pretty sure he’d go insane. I mean, you know, god forbid I put a hole through my body – imagine what his 20th century ideals are like about INK UNDER MY SKIN. =O

But listen, at the end of the day, it is my body. It is my choice. It is my money. And I am not forcing anyone else to go through the pain. Don’t like it? Don’t care. I literally don’t give a fuck what you think about what I do to myself. It’s 2013. Get over it. Get over yourself. It is not that serious, honey.

P.S. My mom seems rather unphased by it. While my dad was freaking out asking me if I actually have a hole through my nose, her reaction was at first this face: O_O and then “is that like a little stone in there?” +1000 points for her chill attitude, mega appreciated.