Hashtags Are Addictive

1. I hate when I paint my nails and then I touch something and mess up my momentarily perfect manicure. #firstworldproblems

2. You know how sometimes after you interact with someone you feel really energized with positive energy? That happened to me tonight after my last customer and it was wonderful.

3. I just got an email from Facebook saying I’m included in a Class Action lawsuit, apparently. I think I might opt in. $$$ can’t hurt if the lawsuit wins.

4. I’ve recently discovered it is incredibly fun to tease one of our new tutors/library personnel. I can barely contain the opportunities. Or in other words, I can’t contain them.

5. I never expected conductive thread to feel so soft.

6. I need a magnifying mirror. Like at least 10x magnification. If I don’t end up going to my internship tomorrow, I think I’m going to go shopping for this.

7. Today I bought the Tanzanite ring I ordered at work and I’m in love with it. The clarity of the Tanzanites makes me really happy. #ballin’

A Sketch A Day

I think I might do a 365 project that I will formally entitle “A Sketch A Day Keeps Insanity at Bay

Here’s today’s sketch.

Because

1. I need to get back to the fundamentals.
2. No one says they have to be the next Mona Lisa’s.
3. A sketch a day really might keep insanity at bay.

AND YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN ME.

K, bye.

I’ll Teach You How to Make Macaroon Earrings

Day 13.

Today I’m grateful that I know how to make something simply like polymer clay macaroon earrings as well as finally having figured out how to use Windows Live Movie Maker, because I’m pretty sure no one else is going to show a video of themselves teaching people how to make polymer clay macaroon earrings tomorrow in class.

Thanks a bunch, hobby from 2 years ago! Saving my butt one macaroon at a time.

And in case you’re curious, here’s the video I made. :) Cheers.

Dear Customers

Dear Customers,

It seems we’ve had these discussions before, but apparently it never gets old. So let’s talk about all the dumb shit you all do that makes my life harder.

Let’s begin with last-minute shopping. If you’re walking into a store half an hour prior to closing, you are a last-minute shopper and I want to punch you in the face. By this time, I’m probably ready to or have already printed out today’s posting and x reports and I’m ticking the time until I can put the first covers on the back cases. Also, if you’re walking in that late, you’re probably one of those dumbasses who is completely oblivious to regular store hours and I want to double punch you in the face. Majority of stores close at 9 PM Monday-Saturday and believe it or not, 6 PM on Sunday – lucky you, my store is open until 7 cause corporate is a bunch of money-hungry douchebags. Either way, you should be aware of this information at all times and quit trying to stop at 6:53 PM on a Sunday evening, thanks. This isn’t Meijer, we’re not open 24/7 so get the fuck out.

Secondly, all of you who don’t read your receipts or fail to ask about return policies are dumbasses as well. I will include myself in this because I¬†admittedly¬†don’t read my receipts often – but that’s because I’m positive about what I’m buying and I’m not going to have second-thoughts. The rest of you, however…well. Let’s just say you are informed that you cannot return clearance items on your receipt, and you would know that if you had glanced at it, regardless of whether or not myself or my coworkers tell you.

Also, can you be any more rude? I know you can see that I’m busy with another customer, so why the fuck do you think it’s okay to yell at me to show you something across the shop when you can clearly see that I’ve got merchandise out and I’m calculating stuff with this other person? What, you think you’re more important? LOL, you’re not the queen of England, so suck my dick and wait your goddamn turn. Trust me honey, the jewelry’s not gonna grow legs and walk away while I’m with someone else. Calm your fucking tits and quit banging on the glass, thanks.

Yes, I do really need your ID. Yes, it’s nice to know you wouldn’t steal the jewelry, but I still need your ID. No, I can’t just check the price, I need your ID before I can open a case. Yes, someone stole something and that’s why I’m asking for your ID and yes it is our insurance policy and it is posted on all our cases. Oh, you’ve never been asked for your ID here before, well things change. Oh, you don’t want to give me your ID? That’s cool, I don’t really care, you’re just saving me time I don’t have to be wasting with you cause we both know you wouldn’t buy anything anyway. Next!

I AM NOT CUSTOMER SERVICE. STOP ASKING ME WHERE THE BATHROOM/VARIOUS DEPARTMENTS/UMBRELLAS ARE. I DON’T KNOW IF YOU CAN TAKE YOUR RETURNING MERCH AROUND THE STORE WITH YOU. GO ASK THE REGISTERS. AND QUIT GETTING PISSY WITH ME WHEN I DON’T KNOW THESE ANSWERS. I DON’T WORK IN THE STORE.

When you ask me if it’s gold or diamonds I want to ask you are you retarded or just stupid? And when you ask me if gold is going to turn colors, I want to ask you if you’re retarded or just stupid? And when you ask me why don’t they make blah blah blah in gold and I tell you it’s because no one would buy it because it would be so expensive you’d shit your pants, and then you whine, I want to tell you that you just bitched 5 minutes ago that blah blah blah in gold that we just looked at was too expensive for your tastes – why would you expect this to be any less expensive if it were in gold? AND YES GOLD IS REALLY EXPENSIVE AND YES THAT’S HOW MUCH THAT COSTS AND NO I CAN’T GIVE YOU THAT PRICE, I’M NOT THE BOSS AND THAT’S A RIDICULOUS PRICE, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU.

I could go on, but frankly I can’t remember all the shit I put up with from all of you, so I’ll leave it here for now.

– Your Jewelry Sales Rep

Rainy Nights

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I’m awake, I am constantly thinking. There is never a moment that passes that there isn’t a thought in my head, whether related to what I’m focusing on, or not. I wake up with music playing in my mind, and I go to sleep with millions of thoughts sparking through my brain.

One of the best thinking “spots” for me is while I’m driving; others include the shower and the time before I fall asleep. It’s been raining for the past few hours, and on my way back from work tonight, it occurred to me how beautiful it is when it rains in a city or suburb. While I couldn’t see very well through the wipers wiping away the raindrops, the blur of the lights from streetlamps, parking lots, and cars always mesmerizes me and makes me want to put a poncho on and go out in the middle of the rain to take pictures of the rainy, colorfully lit road scenery.

I never do, cause I’d probably be honked or run over. So instead I cherish the nights when I get to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of pitter-patter on my window. I seriously wish we could have sweltering, sunny days and mild rainy nights all the time. Life would be complete.

Anyway, yesteray I talked about my thrifty purchases, and today I edited several photos, one of which showcases the rings and teacup. Check it out!

The best part in all of this is that I asked the sales lady at Paris if she knew whether or not the rings were real – like some kind of precious metal. She said no because they were priced under $50. Today at work I found out that they are actually both sterling silver, (.925 stamps on both!) and the purple one is Cubic Zirconia! My boss guesstimated the yellow one might not be CZ because the facets are not cut very sharply. Regardless, I got a steal for those babies.