Changes

I feel like I’m kind of at a crossroads in my life. Maybe. I think.

There are times when I don’t know what I want to do anymore. But the fire within me for being a fashion designer still burns, and I still feel the same about it: my ultimate goal is to make people happy through clothes.

However, I’m having a hard time finding a way into the industry and getting myself known and showing off my abilities. But I live in Michigan. And the metro Detroit area to boot. We are starters here. What we don’t have, we make. My problem is not so much the making of goods, but rather the providing of services. I don’t know where to begin to get my product out, besides like Etsy, where the competition is so thick, I get lost in the throng.

I need immediate turnover. I need people to see my stuff and say yes, I want this now. I want this today. Not add it to some wishlist or favorites group for a maybe later. This is the biggest challenge for me. Is getting a footing and establishing myself. But I guess before I do that I need to figure out exactly what my niche is going to be. I seem to really be drawn to making jewelry. And taking photos. I haven’t properly sketched clothes since college to be honest, and that’s a problem. I don’t enjoy the computer aided design aspect of it at all and I’ll be the first to admit to it. I loathe the Gerber program and while Illustrator flats can be okay to do sometimes, I generally find the practice tedious and annoying. I am not a technical designer by any stretch.

But I like coming up with concepts and ideas and little details. I like making color palettes and organizing things and looking at things from different angles to better understand them. Nonetheless, I still feel lost. I know what I’m good at, but I tend to forget and think of myself as not being good at anything worth while. And then it’s a whole whirlwind of “BUT HOW WILL I SUPPORT MYSELF IF I CAN’T DO X AND Y!?” It’s a tumultuous mental journey that I’ve been having far too often lately and I need to figure out a way to get out of it. Like, asap.

On the bright side, I have faith things will turn around. They always do. There is an ending to every journey, so new ones may begin. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I do know it will change. Everything always changes.

Advertisements

Sales Sales Sales

I may complain about working in retail a lot (and I have every damn reason to) but on days when I’m kept busy and there aren’t a lot of negative experiences, I don’t mind it so much. I had a lot of sales today and I had a generally good outlook and presented myself well to customers, so I think they also helped. I was a bit flustered for the last hour however because I had a lot of customers last minute and I really try to avoid being in the store past closing time. Ain’t nobody got time f’dat.

Relatedly, I wish my coworker would answer my text already because I really need to switch with her for a day so I can do a craft show. And I need to go to Joann’s/Michaels tomorrow to get more jewelry making supplies. I hope this all goes well.

And now I will continue semi-watching Ancient Aliens. Night ya’ll!

The Weather Disappoints Me

You know those songs that come on the radio or your shuffled playlist and you have to dance/sing/turn them up? The Real Slim Shady is one of those songs for me. Among many other Eminem songs. Also, this is the cutest Eminem gif ever:

It’s finally beginning to cool off here in Michigan. My mom and I went to the Renaissance Festival today and it was probably the coldest weather, at about 74 and blustery, we’ve experienced in all the years we’ve gone – although definitely not the shittiest, as we’ve gone during super gloomy and cloudy days.

This weather, however, has me simultaneously sad and excited for end of summer/fall season. Summer seems to have come and gone insanely quickly this year. We didn’t have any chart topping days that I can relish in reminiscing about. It was a pretty lame and rather under the radar kind of season. However, I did get a decent tan regardless of not having spent a massive amount of time outside. I’m actually kinda sad that I haven’t gone swimming since July. But I don’t think I can submerge my head beneath pool water while my nose is still healing.

Speaking of which, I bought a 14k gold hoop for my noise today at RenFest and I’m pretty excited to be able to wear it once I’m all healed up. I also bought these two gorgeous pendants – a sterling silver oyster with a black pearl in it and a sterling silver octopus with a white pearl for a head, both very large pearls – from this guy I got a sweet pirate ship pendant from last year. He gave me a discount as well because he remembered/liked me (and probably also because I was wearing my pirate ship). The only other things I bought were specialty honeys and fancy honey mustard that cleared out my sinuses.

Fuck Group Projects.

I had the intention tonight of reading and writing up my portion for my group project for Ethics. I opened my book about 2 minutes ago, looked at my section and thought FUCK THIS.

There’s still time to do this shit tonight, but my motivation for anything to do with this class is so phenomenally low, I can’t even describe how much I don’t want to do anything for this class. Like ever. I know I need to do this shit asap though cause I still have to finish my business plan. I actually wrote a significant amount for that yesterday, I was proud.

Today I bought a chain for my amethyst and gold pendant!

I got compliments from a few customers about it today, so that was nice. I made zero sales though. Oh well.

I guess I should go read this ethics shit…uuuugh.

Hashtags Are Addictive

1. I hate when I paint my nails and then I touch something and mess up my momentarily perfect manicure. #firstworldproblems

2. You know how sometimes after you interact with someone you feel really energized with positive energy? That happened to me tonight after my last customer and it was wonderful.

3. I just got an email from Facebook saying I’m included in a Class Action lawsuit, apparently. I think I might opt in. $$$ can’t hurt if the lawsuit wins.

4. I’ve recently discovered it is incredibly fun to tease one of our new tutors/library personnel. I can barely contain the opportunities. Or in other words, I can’t contain them.

5. I never expected conductive thread to feel so soft.

6. I need a magnifying mirror. Like at least 10x magnification. If I don’t end up going to my internship tomorrow, I think I’m going to go shopping for this.

7. Today I bought the Tanzanite ring I ordered at work and I’m in love with it. The clarity of the Tanzanites makes me really happy. #ballin’

A Sketch A Day

I think I might do a 365 project that I will formally entitle “A Sketch A Day Keeps Insanity at Bay

Here’s today’s sketch.

Because

1. I need to get back to the fundamentals.
2. No one says they have to be the next Mona Lisa’s.
3. A sketch a day really might keep insanity at bay.

AND YOU SHOULD ALL JOIN ME.

K, bye.