More Thoughts on the Influx of Men

Okay, so – back to the IT’S RAINING MEEEENN discussion. (Btw, that music video is so atrocious, it’s almost good. Watch it.)

So evidently I got hit on last night in the library and it left me with mixed feelings of confusion, repulsion (the guy is no Jacob Hoggard, okay? Don’t judge me) and flattery. I also got hit on by one of my long time friends last night when I got home and was briefly online before I passed out, but that kinda doesn’t count cause he’s been doing that for ages.

AND, today at the gym the gentlemen next to me on the treadmill wouldn’t stop talking to me for a good 10 minutes. I’m not entirely sure if he was flirting or not, but I’m counting it.

So I ask myself – WHAT IS THIS!?

If you’ve been following my blog for the past year, you know I’ve written a good handful of posts complaining and whining and brooding over the fact that I have no love life, that there are no real prospects, and that I’m sick and tired of waiting around for some “knight in shining armor” cause clearly there isn’t one for me.

But suddenly, suddenly, BAM. I’m getting attention from a broad spectrum of guys and I don’t know how to handle it. And that’s another thing. I’ve begged and pleaded and wished and hoped for something, anything – some little inkling of this kind of attention, and I finally get it, and I’m almost overwhelmed. Having had no real contact with this kind of situation before, I feel handicapped and unprepared for what to do. But I think that’s okay. I think it’s a good lesson that I need to learn so I can get to whatever the next step in the learning process is.

Also, I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before or not, but I’m still on the fence about how to feel about this attention. I know it has at least something to do with my weight loss. There is no way any of this would’ve happened this time last year when I was about 30-40 pounds heavier. Why do I know that? Because nothing happened. But suddenly, I’m noticeably smaller.

On the one hand, I’m flattered because that means I’m doing something right. On the other hand, I’m offended because it means people are that shallow. But I’m also hypocrite because I find myself more attractive like this too. And there’s nothing wrong with that, actually, is there? I’m healthier now than I have been in years, and I’m on a continuous journey to become the healthiest I can be.

I think I just need to accept the road I’ve treading down now – awkward advances and all. 


Jacob Hoggard, You Sexual Beast

I’ve spent the last…oh, maybe half hour or so unconsciously trying to figure out why my hair smells different than usual. I JUST remembered that it’s not my hair at all. I put Lush’s Creme Anglaise on my face before I blow dried my hair tonight. I also just spent the past half hour playing people back on Draw Something. I officially have 20 games going on. Here’s the downside to that: either I have a shit ton of people to play back at one time, or I have no one to play back cause they’re all turds. They piled up today.

Speaking of today, it was pretty fantastical. Except for one of my classes was kinda tense. Our teacher tends to get offended when we complain about how we’re confused, even when she asks us to tell her what we think of the class in honest terms. But that aside, it was a good day. Alyza and I finally set up a Youtube account (via much “YOU NEED TO DO THIS ASAP” from HNI) and uploaded not one, but two videos tonight. Here’s the intro video, please enjoy and lol at your leisure. But we hope you lol often.

You can check out the other video at our channel right here. If you have any suggestions for future videos, let us know in the comments or email us at We tried getting podbot on both gmail and youtube but some asshole already took the name. I was sad.

So uh, I mentioned HNI up there a wee bit and I just want to expand on that a little here. There’s not much to expand on really, but and I were watching some video on youtube and he popped out of the abyss and scared the shit out of me. I was not expecting to see him at all today cause I hadn’t seen him earlier and when he came up it was like half an hour before closing time. It was the cherry on top of a great day to see that face, especially when I told him PodBot is official.

Also, I just want all of you to know that I’m listening to my Hedley station on Pandora right now and they’re actually playing Hedley and it just reminds me of the Hedley concert Alyza and I went to in 2010. And I really wish Jacob Hoggard could sing me to sleep every night. I would tap that ass to the moon and back. He is so damn sexy. Raging lady boner for that man.

Jodhaa Akbar Makes Me Dance!

I’ve been meaning to address this highly hilarious [at least to me] occurrence with my blog stats. I seem to often get hits from people searching things like “when narcissists attack” and “when narcissists kill from paranoid delusions” and I can’t help but LOL at this. I mean, it’s a given that I should get hits like that when my blog is entitled The Paranoid Delusions of A Narcissist [after Hedley‘s Narcissist] but it’s still incredibly amusing.

Speaking of Hedley, they’re my second favorite band after Billy Talent, and the one year anniversary of going to their concert here in Detroit last October passed last week. Here’s a terribly bad picture of me with Jacob Hoggard after the show. I got pictures with all the members, actually, and all of them turned out pretty good except for this one. I look terrible, but whatever, it’s Jacob fucking Hoggard ya’ll!! I touched him.

Anyway, I just finished watching a 3 and a half hour long movie – Jodhaa Akbar. It was excellent and I highly recommend it. I’ve wanted to watch it for about 2 years now, and when I saw it was on Netflix a few weeks ago, I added it to my queue, and I finally got around to watching it today as a reward for working so hard on my homework all day. It was really good. There’s this particular dance and singing scene [and they are scarce in this movie, in case you avoid musicals] that makes me get up and dance and I love it. It reminded me of another Indian movie I watched not too long ago called Kama Sutra which was one of the most beautiful love stories I’ve ever watched. It’s available on Hulu, so click the title above and check it out. It’s rated R cause there’s some sexytime scenes in there, but it’s not perverted or overly sexual. It’s simply beautiful.

Lastly, I wanted to let everyone know I have a new page up at the top of my blog – Wallpapers. It’s a page with clickable thumbnails of some digital art wallpapers I created that you can freely use on your computer or phone. Take a look and let me know if you use any of them!

Caffeinated Soap. Yup.

You know what’s exciting as hell? Like more exciting [at least for me] than meeting Jacob Hoggard? CHILDHOOD FRIENDS FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY FINDING YOU ON FACEBOOK. I just saw that I had a new message from someone, and lo and behold, it’s a girl I haven’t seen or spoken to since I left Romania 14 years ago. I am so incredibly happy right now, I was literally about to start crying while looking at her pictures – which are from her wedding! But of course, I would attract the attention of everyone in the classroom I’m in and that would probably just be awkward. So I called my mom instead.

Anyway, prior to this hella exhilarating news – I found out WordPress is doing a pre-NaNoWriMo thing – A Post A Day! And I am totally down for the cause. A psychic once told me that I get so many ideas that I need to write them down. Which is totally true by the way, so what better way to do that than to share them with everyone else!? No better way. Except maybe write them in my diary.

So I’m going to participate in this A Post A Day challenge with vigor and enthusiasm for the written word. This counts as Post 1 BTW.

Also, completely unrelated to anything I’ve posted above, I totally need some Spazzstick in my life. And one of my somewhat teachers just mentioned he has caffeinated soap. Yup.