Confidence

I really enjoy getting psychic/intuitive readings. I find that getting someone else’s perspective on things is exactly the thing that I need sometimes to help me see things from a different perspective, and give me a nice little kick in the butt.

That said, I chose to get one spur of the moment earlier this week and it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Among the common threads that linked all my issues together was needing to feel confident in myself and my abilities. I have not been feeling appropriately confident and this has held me back. I know what I am capable of, I know what I can achieve and I know I have talents. But lately I’ve been questioning all of that, and have internalized it all as well. I know this hasn’t done me any good. What good is worrying anyway? I must remind myself of one of my favorite pieces of advice:
Worrying is like a rocking chair, it’ll give you something to do, but it won’t take you anywhere.

In that I must find my strength. And in action. I know that standing still won’t help me move forward, and I need to conjure up the courage to face my problems with my chin up and my smile on.

I’ve always found that when I feel good about myself, I look good in the mirror as well. When I feel down on myself, I look terrible. I find flaws, more reasons to hate this part of me, that part. Both positive mind sets and negative ones are miraculous in their own ways. While a positive one can make you see the greenest parts of life, a negative one can make you forget them, and in that they are both powerful. But a negative mind set never got anyone anything worth while, and I’m not about wasting any more of my time feeling sorry for myself, wishing I’d done this or that, or any other shit.

There is no one in this world that is better at piecing us together than ourselves. We tear ourselves apart, and we build ourselves back up. It’s a learning process. And I am currently learning to be more confident. To trust myself more. To know that I have worth and I need to project that part of me.

I have been told numerous times that when you are confident in yourself, others will see you as such as well. I think that’s true of all characteristics and emotions. And as such, I think it’s not only good, but vital, that we project ourselves as positive, open-minded, kind, and confident. No one likes to hang around a debby downer. It’s like sticking a cord in a socket that sucks all the energy out.

I know I can’t change overnight. I don’t expect to. Everything takes time and time heals all wounds. My goal for now is to remain centered and focused on myself. I need to reign in my energy and build up my confidence so I can project that and communicate to people that I am open, I am available, and I am approachable.

Why Does Every Psychic Tell Me I’m Going Have Kids?

So I got a psychic reading today.

Every time I go to downtown Ferndale, I visit the Boston Tea Room to see what new crystals and jewelry they have. I ended up getting a piece of blue sunstone and a rose quartz point. Then I decided to cash in one of my $5 off a half hour reading coupons.

It was an pretty good and interesting reading. For whatever reason, the part that I keep remembering is when she was reading my palm and asked me if I was planning on/wanted kids. I said no. And she said “well I see one here” and laughed.

Maybe it’s the fact that I keep denying the possibility that I will pop babies out that makes that the most poignant thing whenever I get psychic readings. On my drive home, I wondered to myself whether I should maybe just accept the fact that it could/will happen instead of fighting it? AND THEN I STARTED NAMING POSSIBLE FUTURE CHILD.

That’s where I feel like it could happen. When I allow myself to start giving this possibility a name. I feel like I lose control over the situation through that. But then, if that’s true, then I lost control 2 two years ago. Did I ever really have control anyway? Probably not. We like to lull ourselves into thinking we have control over our lives, but there are so many other factors.

Anyway, it’s time to go to see Iron Man 3. Peace out homies.