New Year, New Closet

It is officially 2013 and while I started this blog in the latter half of 2011, it feels as if I’ve been here for 2 years already.

Last night I went to two NYE parties. The first was a formal party that I braved the freeway 19 miles for. I didn’t stay very long. As more people trickled in, the beer pong began, and pot cookies were starting to be eaten, I found my escape to move on to the next party.

Can we just all take a moment marvel at my beautiful 16″ calves? Amen.

It’s not that I felt uncomfortable per se, but rather that I wanted to ring in the New Year among more than 3 acquaintances. It was kinda funny though because as I was saying my goodbye to Adam, the host, his roommate (also the DJ for the night, and quite the artist, as I noticed through my tour of the house) was in the hallway with us and he pulled him closer and half-whispered something about one of the girls being really hot. I have no idea who he was talking about, but I got a Facebook friend request in the middle of the night from him.

At that point, I felt like I was in a movie and wondered to myself, is this really happening right now? 

And then I drove 23 miles down to Krista and Glenn’s for their NYE LAN party which I didn’t actually expect to be a LAN party and was slightly taken aback when I walked in and there were about 2 people setting up their desktops/laptops in addition to about 4 others already playing and joining in on Chivalry. I think I let out a giggle of approval and then stuffed my face with 4 slices of pizza that tasted like Jesus himself had blessed them. 

We all momentarily gathered in the living room to watch the ball drop and counted down aloud, drank a sip of champagne, and then 10 seconds later bounced back to playing Chivalry. I took pictures. And then I left before 1 AM because I’m too much of a goody-two-shoes (and also I didn’t have anything else to do and Krista was sick.)

And that, my friends, was my NYE night.

Today I spent 3 hours shopping with my mom at Great Lakes Crossing and spent far too much money (ON THINGS I NEEDED THOUGH, HONESTLY), but when I came home, as I was putting clothes away, I cleaned out my closet and removed 3 giant bags worth of old, too big and some unworn items. Because hey, this is a new year, a new closet, and a smaller me. 

The Love/Hate Relationship with Victoria’s Secret: A Letter

Dear Victoria’s Secret,

Let’s start off with the good stuff. In 6th grade, I entered one of your stores for the very first time and if I remember correctly, I instantly fell in love. Although if I remember even more correctly, I’m pretty sure I felt like the damn teeny-bopper I was in a land of foreign, and what I at the time considered skanky items. But aaah, do times change. I think I was in 7th grade when I purchased my very first thongs from you guys and suddenly I felt like I was part of the in-club. Because honestly, why should all the popular skanky girls have all the panty fun? 

Aaah, those were high times for shoppers of Victoria’s Secret cotton undies. 5 pairs for $20 (yes, perhaps a ridiculous price even back then, but alas) made you feel like you’d accomplished something good that day. And so the addiction began. And the underwear multiplied. And I was in love with the colors and the thongs and the fact that I felt better about myself because of them!

But then, then you had to go and raise your prices. For the next oh…5-7 years, I had to cut down on buying your undies because they were 5 for $25, and I wept a little, watching my allowance and then my hard-earned money trickle your way nonetheless. Because I couldn’t stop (and I still can’t entirely stop, damn you VS!) buying your amazing underwear, especially not when you started sending me FREE PANTY coupons. 6 pairs for $25!? DON’T MIND IF I DO. 

This is TOTALLY a picture of my underwear collection from 2009. It looks different now, but you get the gist. I DON’T FUCKING PLAY WHEN IT COMES TO PANTIEZ.

But then, THEN, VS, you hurt me even more. You stopped carrying XL in cotton panties in your stores. Sure I can get them online and your snail-mail catalog, but why on earth would I want to pay shipping on 5 pairs of underwear? But you know, it’s kind of okay now. I can fit into large and sometimes even medium undies from you. And I can totally get XL panties at the VS Outlet (thank god for that) at Great Lakes Crossing.

Yet, the saga doesn’t end. You recently upped your prices on cotton panties again. 5 for $26.50? Really, VS? This is just cruel. I won’t be surprised to see 5 for $30, but I will be very, very sad. And I’ll probably keep buying them…speaking of more price hikes, I AM STILL PISSED AT YOU FOR RAISING THE PRICES ON COTTON BRAS TOO, VICTORIA’S SECRET.

What was wrong with 2 for $40!? I saw that period of time when they were 2 for $45 and now they’re 2 for $49.50. Newsflash, IT’S THE SAME FUCKING SHIT IT WAS BACK THEN. I understand the economy is tough, but how does it make sense to RAISE your prices!? Listen VS, I’ll probably always be a loyal shopper because you hooked me line and sinker in 2003. But that doesn’t mean I’ll be a HAPPY shopper when you try to feed me 3 pairs of underwear for $30 and expect me to feel fulfilled parading my ass in leopard printed and lace lined g-strings. Yeah I’ll feel good (damnit) but my bank account will be crying because of you!

Love and an overflowing box of panties,

Black Friday Adventures!

So mom and I headed out to Great Lakes Crossing Outlets last night around 8 so we could be there when it opened at 9. Yup, us and several thousand other people swarmed the place. It was ridiculous getting in – we were in the front of the crowd, so it wasn’t as scary, but the force of a few hundred people pushing you through a 1 double-door opening [because they hadn’t opened the other doors for some reason] is slightly terrifying. I thought I might be one of those people who gets trampled to death.

We decided to hit up the Victoria’s Secret Outlet first because I just knew that it would be really crowded in there, and it’s a good thing we did because there was a LINE with a security guard handing out totes and only allowing a certain amount of people in at a time. Whenever one person left, he let one person in. I am unashamed to say I bought more underwear for my already overfilled underwear box [and for Alyza for Christmas, ssshhh!], as well as – get this – TWO BRAS FOR $6.00 EACH. 

When the girl at check out asked me if they were both D’s, I asked if that made a difference in price, and she said yes, they’re $6.00. And I said $6.00? And she said, yes, $6.00 and I said you said $6.00, not $16.00, right? And she said yes, $6.00. I about died. That was the best part of my night – followed closely by this couple who  were at checkout for at least half an hour because they bought literally 12 bags, maybe more, of merch. I can’t even make this shit up. I took a picture of the pile they had going early on.

We hit up Gap Outlet afterwards because it was across the hall, and I got some nice knit work-type legging/pants and underwear for my brother for Christmas. Then we went to the Nike store and I almost bought this pair of shorts but I didn’t feel like standing in line for them – even though I ended up waiting in line with my mom cause she got herself some shirts and shoes. It was great in there though – they had a DJ blasting music and all I wanted to do was break it down.

We ate “fourth meal” around 1:30 AM or so – Panda Express! I was really disappointed that they didn’t have SweetFire chicken. The lady gave me orange chicken instead. I hate orange chicken. But it’s okay, because I had the Treasure Shrimp and the noodles were pretty delicious.

Finally, we stopped by Forever21 and my mom bought me my belated birthday present – this really pretty and simple black princess cut top and cream with semi-colorful leopard print dress, as well as this art nouveau style lightweight cardigan thing. It’s not really a cardigan though because it’s woven, not knit. It’s like an over…thing. Makes me look a bit old, but styled the right way, it’s gonna look fabulous. I bought myself some earrings, nail polish, and two necklaces that are apparently made for infant necks because they choke me. I have to extend them. Good thing I have supplies and tools to do that.

We went home after finding out that Bass Pro Shop didn’t open until 6 AM. I was pretty bummed about that. I wanted to get my dad a giftcard for Christmas from there because he loves fishing. And I also wanted to explore the store because it’s fun in there. It’s HUGE. On our drive out of the parking lot, I noticed there were cars parked on the grass. On the grass, people! Not enough parking spaces apparently – and Great Lakes Crossing is MASSIVE. O_O