Answers

Today I went to church looking for answers to all the stress and anxiety and negative feelings I’ve been feeling lately. I was in a very good mood for about 10 minutes after I woke up while I was getting dressed. Then I went and asked my dad if I could take my mom’s car since hers was in the way and he rather rudely told me no and I should take my car. SOOOOO, I was going to just put her car in the street, as it was the most logical and easiest option (my car is always in the garage) and my dad followed me out and said he’d put HIS car in the street and then I could just move my mom’s car in his spot. Honestly this pissed me off even more. He didn’t have to get up from napping because it literally would’ve been so fucking easy to just put my mom’s car in the street instead of moving two cars. Just. Fucking ridiculous.

So I got myself to church. I rushed. There was no reason to, as always, as the whole standing up sitting down making crosses over oneself thing was still happening for a solid 20 minutes after I arrived at like 11:10. As I said, I went searching for answers. I got none. I couldn’t quite hear what the pope was saying (as usual) and the guys in the foyer where they sell candles were being loud as fuck and talking and banging shit around. It only aggravated me more. However, I did notice while trying to recount how many times Jesus is painted on the walls (18 last time I remember) that the painting of him that is right above your head as you walk into the church – he has a triangle (pyramidal if it were 3D) halo around his head. It’s the only one like that. I found that highly interesting and spent quite a bit of time pondering why only that painting was done like that and why it was done like that at all. 3 is a very powerful number, that’s for sure. I have a multitude of theories about it, but I’m not going to expound.

So while I didn’t get what I wanted in church, after hitting up Meijer, I decided I’d go to Ferndale to the Boston Tea Room because it’s always calming in there and I generally feel at peace. I was hoping I’d find some new stones to add to my growing collection. Instead I found a pair of sterling silver bee earring studs (for only $6.25!) that I attempted to use as nose studs but found the gauge to be too big. I also decided to buy Buddhist mala prayer beads made of cherry quartz. So in a way, I did add new stones to my collection. I’m still a bit bummed I didn’t pick up the ombre citrine set while they still had it. I’m half tempted to go back and get the lavender jade set, but I need to be conserving my money, once again. This was a spiritual thing. I bought them to find peace. I don’t need more. ¬†Although I will probably get more in the future, I’m sure. In a way, I made my answers today.

I still feel discord and I’m trying not to let it get to me. Inner peace and tranquility brings forth outer peace and positive energy. You are what you think. Etc etc.

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So Today I Got My Nose Pierced

Today started out relatively uneventful. Alyza and I went to downtown Ferndale, and after exiting the Rust Belt, she clapped her hands, got really excited, and screamed “DO YOU WANNA GET YOUR NOSE PIERCED!?” To which I took a minute to reply “sure” to.

After trying a few different shops down there (one didn’t do piercings, the other was closed on Sundays) we found a shop on Woodward that was open, did piercings, and did them with studs (I’m not allowed to wear hoops in my nose at work).

SOOOOO, I did what I’ve been wanting to do since I was 12, but was too scared to do on my own for over ten years: I voluntarily offered myself to get a hollow needle stuck through my nose and carved out a hole.

It was kinda painful at first, especially the few seconds right after the needle went through. The girl had me close my eyes, but I opened them when the needle was still in and there was a burning sensation happening, so I saw it sticking out of my nose as she still had my nostril clamped out. It was kind of uncomfortable for a little bit and I remember thinking WHEN IS SHE GOING TO PUT THE STUD IN!?

But then she finally did and I was like holy shit I actually have my nose pierced! It’s been mildly hurting on and off all day, as expected. I never realized how much I flare my nostrils, though, until today. Every time I do it, I send a small jolt of pain to the piercing and I’m like oh! Okay!

All in all, it wasn’t a bad experience. I wasn’t freaking out like I used to freak out when I thought of getting things like this done, which only means that in about 2 weeks, when I might possibly be getting my first tattoo(s), I will hopefully also be as semi calm as I was today.

Now I’m just playing the waiting game to see who in my family will notice first that there is something different about me, and how long will it take each of them to notice. I deliberately didn’t post the above picture on Facebook, because I decided it might be better for them to see it in person, rather than find out via social networking about my recent body mod.

But really, I’m 22. It’s my body. I can legally do whatever I want.

Why Does Every Psychic Tell Me I’m Going Have Kids?

So I got a psychic reading today.

Every time I go to downtown Ferndale, I visit the Boston Tea Room to see what new crystals and jewelry they have. I ended up getting a piece of blue sunstone and a rose quartz point. Then I decided to cash in one of my $5 off a half hour reading coupons.

It was an pretty good and interesting reading. For whatever reason, the part that I keep remembering is when she was reading my palm and asked me if I was planning on/wanted kids. I said no. And she said “well I see one here” and laughed.

Maybe it’s the fact that I keep denying the possibility that I will pop babies out that makes that the most poignant thing whenever I get psychic readings. On my drive home, I wondered to myself whether I should maybe just accept the fact that it could/will happen instead of fighting it? AND THEN I STARTED NAMING POSSIBLE FUTURE CHILD.

That’s where I feel like it could happen. When I allow myself to start giving this possibility a name. I feel like I lose control over the situation through that. But then, if that’s true, then I lost control 2 two years ago. Did I ever really have control anyway? Probably not. We like to lull ourselves into thinking we have control over our lives, but there are so many other factors.

Anyway, it’s time to go to see Iron Man 3. Peace out homies.

I’d Be an Amazing Wife, Like Really

I feel like it’s been forever and a day since I updated here. Work has been consuming my life, as well as various duties around the house and a little bit of tanning the other day because IT WAS HELLA SUNNY OUT! And I gotta start somewhere.

Today I picked up my mom’s Mother’s Day gift – a custom made cutting board from WMN Woodworking. It’s beautiful and I hope my mom actually uses it for it’s intended purpose. The first one I bought is too pretty to cut on, so we use it for foodography photos.

I also stopped at the Boston Tea Room – because I can’t go to downtown Ferndale and not go there – and bought a piece of opalite. It’s gorgeous and every time I add a new crystal to my collection, I can hear Alyza’s voice in my head calling me the crazy crystal lady. I’m not ashamed.

I also vacuumed the house while baking grapefruits. The only reason I’m mentioning this is because never have I loved vacuuming more than now that I have a Dyson. Seriously you guys. If you can afford it, or even if you can’t (save yo money) get a Dyson. It will change your life. ONCE YOU GO DYSON, YOU NEVER GO BACK. My Dyson is my baby. It makes everything smell so good and feel and look so clean. I feel like I’m treading on angel clouds afterward.

Speaking of angels, this morning there was a customer shopping with either her daughters or granddaughters and I could not stop staring at the girls. They were about 7-9 years old, I think fraternal twins (they were the same height). One was a plump redhead with a BEAUTIFUL rosy complexion and stunning ginger hair, and the other was a gorgeous blonde with a perfect nose. They were so beautiful, I felt slightly pedo staring so much. All I wanted to do was take 5000 pictures of them. And also swap hair with the redhead.

Church and Crystals

Remember the last time I went to church and blogged about it? And I mentioned there’s a chandelier in the center dome that’s like the size of my car? I snapped a picture of it today cause I decided I needed some Jesus in my life or something.

I thought I got there late enough today to not endure standing up and sitting down and making crosses over myself, but apparently 11 AM is still early cause the pope didn’t start talking until 11:35 and I was like sweet baby Jesus and kept looking at all the paintings of the saints and once again thought about aliens and what I learned about saints and architecture in my art history classes.

I hit up downtown Ferndale after and had a lovely time down there by myself. Although winter is really depressing cause there’s like no one else walking around willy nilly. I bought some new crystals (and a pendant) and a really legit cutting board that I don’t have a picture of (yet). I also bought energy chunks and date and coconut rolls from the Natural Patch.

I plan on exploring downtown Ferndale more in depth in the future. I know there’s more to it than just the west side of 9 mile, but I kinda feel like I need a buddy to do it with, you know? Same goes for downtown Berkley and downtown Birmingham. I’ve explored the majority of downtown Royal Oak though. Baby steps!

To the Psychic Last Summer

Dear Deborah,

I suppose I should start this off by saying first and foremost: I believed you and I still believe you and I’ll probably continue to believe you. You seemed like a genuinely awesome and honest person last July when we met and you told me the general future happenings of my life. In one year, I can say that your prediction of my weight loss (though not timed correctly, but close enough and that’s perfectly okay) has come true. But maybe it’s because I’m impatient to see what else comes true that I haven’t realized or seen anything else come true yet. Although honestly, I’m pretty sure what you told me was much more ahead in my future than I’m allowing myself to recognize for the moment, in which case, I really have no room to complain.

Except, the whole marriage business. One of most poignant things I remember you saying was that I will apparently be married within 3-4 years. That’s more like 2-3 years now, if we keep our fingers crossed and hope this turns out the way you said. Last year when you told me this, I was completely off in la-la-land wondering who on earth I could possibly be marrying in such a short time.

Now I’m sitting here hoping and praying it’ll end up being who I think I could be and driving myself crazy trying to figure out if the reciprocation I’m getting is actual, carnal reciprocation, or if I’m imagining it to be so because I want it so bad. And I get urges to come and visit you and ask you this, but I never do. So I sit and ponder whether or not wanting something bad enough and visualizing it happening can make it come true. Yet, you told me not to worry about love because it will come, and that’s the worse part of this. I’m not heeding your advice very well, but I’ve desperately been trying lately.

And then there was that whole offspring business that I asked about at the very end. When you saw my face after you told me I’ll have two, it was truly amusing. While this tidbit has crossed my mind numerous times within the last year, so has the fact that you said I still have free will to choose about that. But you said for now that’s what you see as the more definite path I’ll be treading. And that still scares me, yet at the same time I’ve found myself driving or swimming or doing other idle things and thinking of my future children and naming them. Anna Maria keeps popping up. I don’t know why. That name is always on the tip of my tongue. I don’t know about the second one though, I’m still trying to cope with the idea of popping any children out, much less TWO. This is also the part where you mentioned the whole marriage and 3 to 4 years thing. I remember you saying “oh don’t worry, you’ll be married then. I can see a ring on your finger,” and I hyperventilated, about the kids part.

The other big portion I remember was the career side. Whenever I start freaking out about graduating in a year, I try to remember what you told me about this. I remember you saying not to worry about it, especially the financial part because you said “money will come” (a mantra I’ve adopted) and you put extra emphasis on this bit. I also remember you saying, and this was the best part, that I will be successful in everything I do.

I remember telling you about that Tarot reading I got at the RenFest that one year and how I pulled out the “Happily Ever After” card and told you it basically signified I’ll be getting everything I’ve ever wanted and all will be well and you said yup, that’s exactly it. And my heart fluttered.¬†There were other things you told me about my career path that I’m pretty excited to see coming to fruition in time. Like who’ll be flanking me, as you put it.

Lastly, in the beginning of the reading you told me you see that I am a very spiritual person and that I have a very powerful tendency to manifest anything I want, and that people are drawn to my energy. Every now and again I remember this part and I think to myself, you know…that is a very accurate observation. I very often do get/manifest what I want, and in terms of love (which has been plaguing my mind for FAR TOO LONG) it gives me hope that if I keep pushing on and hoping and praying and focusing my mind on what exactly I want out of it, then maybe, just maybe, for once in my life all that energy will not go to waste in the form of another broken heart and pieces to collect, but rather manifest in to what I want it to be.

I guess what I’m trying to say via this rather large retelling of last July’s reading is that:
1. I’m impatient and wish I could see these things come to be already.
2. You reignited the little flame in my heart about not being alone and single the rest of my life.
3. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for a wonderful reading. I often re-read the diary entry where I recorded most of what you said.

Love,
A believer in the coming future, except those kids. I don’t know about those kids.

Another Shopping Saturday.

I woke up this morning with two things in mind: one, that I had to urgently pee, and pee a lot, and two, that I would go to the Rust Belt in downtown Ferndale. I did both and felt great after each.

All the vendors at the Rust Belt were new (to me) since I hadn’t been there since last July. I was a bit sad that the woodwork guy wasn’t there. Last summer, there was a vendor who made really cool jewelry out of wood, and I was hoping he’d be there so I could grovel over his amazing $20 earrings. Instead, I discovered a rather shy and awkward lady who sold crystals (!!!) and did not share in my excitement for her awesome little shop. I think she thought I was crazy or something, and immediately after I professed how excited I was about her crystals, I started nervous-sweating all over my face, neck and shoulders from the look she gave me. She also gave psychic readings for $20 but her awkward shyness made me skip out on that. I was content enough with my clear crystal point and bismuth chunk.

And since I was in the neighborhood, I stopped by the Natural Patch food store to pick up some energy chunks. I absolutely love this place. I discovered it last summer at the same time as the Rust Belt and it was love at first price-sighting. They’re basically an independently owned Whole-Foods-esque type of grocery/medicinal store with massive amounts or organic everything. My favorite things they carry are the handmade energy chunks and date & coconut rolls. And their sweetened banana chips are THE BEST. They’re not greasy at all, which is something I often find with banana chips.

I dropped by Meijer afterwards to see if they had 1 gallon mason jars and terranium-appropriate plants, of which they had neither. In the process, I got hit on by the garden center guy for about 20 minutes. I was trying to gauge his age the entire time cause I think I saw some gray hair, but he looked about 28.

But the highlight of my day above all things was probably the most inconsequential thing: as I was driving down Woodward under the bridge by the Detroit Zoo, there was a class of elementary school kids on the bridge walking toward the Zoo and I had an innate feeling that they were going to wave at the cards coming. I was in the lead with no cars around for for about a quarter of a mile and I looked up as I was passing, and they waved down and I waved back up to them and after that I felt so incredibly happy and had the biggest smile on my face for a good five minutes. It’s the simple things in life…