Instinct.

Last night before I went to bed, I was on Tumblr (obviously) and one of the last posts that I reblogged haunted me all throughout today. This is the post I’m talking about, but here is the content and gif in case you’re lazy and don’t want to follow the link:

Many classic horror icons and other disturbing creatures share common characteristics. Pale skin, dark, sunken eyes, elongated faces, sharp teeth, and the like. These images inspire horror and revulsion in many, and with good reason. The characteristics shared by these faces are imprinted in the human mind.

Many things frighten humans instinctively. The fear is natural, and does not need to be reinforced in order to terrify. The fears are species-wide, stemming from dark times in the past when lightning could mean the burning of your tree home, predators could be hiding in the dark, heights could make poor footing lethal, and a spider or snake bite could mean certain death.

The question you have to ask yourself is this:

What happened, deep in the hidden eras before history began, that could effect the entire human race so evenly as to give the entire species a deep, instinctual, and lasting fear of pale beings with dark, sunken eyes, razor sharp teeth, and elongated faces?

The last paragraph really got to me. My first instinctual thought was “aliens”, I’m not gonna lie. Or aliens to us now. I turned on all the lights last night before meditating, when I went to get water, and when I woke up this morning, it was the first thought to flood back to me. I think the question of what happened in the depths of our humanity that scarred us instinctually is not only valid, but extremely important.

I’m watching an old Ancient Aliens episode right now, and they’re talking about the origins of Satan throughout the cultures of the world and what he was represented as (reptilian-like, similar to the description in the above Tumblr post). I think this is related. I need to ruminate on this subject further before I come to any solid, concrete theories of my own. But I think it’s a great question to ask and an even greater journey of speculation to discovering something important about our past.

Loneliness.

Every now and then, there are strings of words that really hit me with profoundness.

Tonight, reading the last secret on PostSecret, I came across this:

And I agree. Like the quote from After Earth, where Will Smith says “Fear is not real. It is the product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” I find this one to be equally valuable and true.

Does loneliness truly exist? No. Singularity exists. Loneliness is an emotion. We create it. We feed it. And we can break it. I feel like this is one of those lines that can bring someone out of a slump, if they are in the mindset to accept these words of wisdom.

After Earth: Fear is Not Real

Tonight I went and saw After Earth with my mom. It was a pretty good movie, and on a scale of movies that I’ve seen recently, it was better than Iron Man 3 but not as good at Star Trek: Into Darkness.

Anyway, there was a part where Will Smith’s character, Cypher, is telling his son Kitai (real life son Jaden Smith) about the first time he ghosted. I honestly dipped out of that part of the movie mentally and didn’t hear parts of it, HOWEVER, I did hear the most poignant line of the whole movie, which is also shortened into the tagline of this movie.

Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.

This really stood out to me as something that is not only true, but something that I need to incorporate in my life more. Throughout the whole movie, I was obsessing in the back of my mind about my molar that is aching and probably needs a root canal. I don’t really want to admit that it needs one, and it has greatly to do with fear. I do not like pain (who does?) but I can bear it if I have to. I haven’t yet come across pain that I haven’t been able to get over. It’s all carnal. It passes, as we do in these bodies.

But anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I respect and admire this line. There’s more to it, as it’s a whole monologue, but the section about “it is a product of thoughts you create” cannot be any more true. Cypher talks about fear as an emotion that is created by the unknown. It’s a useless emotion. It’s like worrying – it’ll give you something to do, but it won’t get you any where.

As I continue my journey of conquering fears this year, I also continue on the journey of eliminating fear from my life. It is not an easy task. It never has been, it never will be. But as fear is a choice that we make, so is strength, so is courage. It’s the ability to choose what will give you the benefit that makes the difference.

Fear: Rejection.

I should start keeping a mini notepad with me at all times so I can write down the ideas that come to me throughout the day of what I should talk about here cause I always forget when the time comes to write. I know I had specific ideas while I was at work, but I’ve forgotten them.

Instead, I will brood some more on my lack of a love life. The other day I watched a video from Dr. Carmen Harra about ‘the secret to perfect relationships‘. Let me preface this by saying that when I had that whole drama-llama shit about the memes 2 weeks ago, I remember getting on Facebook and BAM that video was IN MY FACE and I thought how fitting, God or whoever plays these things like this, to shove an answer in my face at such a time. I didn’t watch it then but kept it in the back of my mind.

Anyway, in this video she explains things that I think we all subconsciously know but refuse to acknowledge in the conscious level of existence. In order to maintain good relationships one must first switch off fear and defensiveness, and turn on self-awareness, patience, and tolerance. Now, I’m not going to go into detail about all these points because it’s easier to just watch the video, but I will draw a conclusion on fear. In the video she says when you’re afraid of something, you draw in exactly that which you fear into your life.

She says you can eradicate your fear with a little bit of introspection: ask yourself what you’re afraid and why you’re afraid of it. Where did it come from? So I did just that. In terms of my love life I determined that I’m afraid of rejection because I’ve been through nothing but rejection all my life. I’ve been broken-hearted and left to pick up the pieces so many times, I’ve lost count. Literally. I’m sick of going through that and I want to throw my towel up but I can’t because I still have hope right now. It’s a flickering flame and it’s been rooted in me since last summer.

Furthermore, if the law of attraction holds true then is my desire to attract someone (in particular)…stronger…because I want it so much? I go back and forth on this often, and I know in order to truly see any kind of positive result I should let go of the fear and doubt that it couldn’t or won’t happen as I want it to. I know that clouds the possibility of it really happening, but I also know that it hurts to have your hopes shattered. I’ve had all kinds of grieving processes in the past from a broken heart. Some of them were like ripping band-aids off – quick and only mildly painful. Others have been really rough and sometimes I still feel that achey heart feeling thinking about them. I don’t want to go through that again. Part of it feels like I might. The other part of me hopes the complete opposite. 

And it’s moments like this that make me hyper-excited to get my ‘fortune told‘. I should’ve asked that psychic last summer more in-depth questions about my love life. Not sure if I ever mentioned it, but she told me I’d be married within the next 3 to 4 years and I would have 2 kids. It still blows my mind.

P.S. It’s rather difficult to write posts of this nature sometimes without mentioning names or clues about who they might be referring to. But I think I beat around the bush well enough…Even though I kind of don’t want to, like, at all. Why are we humans so lame like that?

ETA: I found this on Tumblr earlier today and wanted to share it. Highly, HIGHLY relevant, because freaking YES PLEASE.