It Took Me 3 Hours to Make This Skirt

I think today was pretty productive.

I hit up Downtown Royal Oak and bought 2 vintage rings from Lost and Found Vintage for $8, one of which is sterling silver. The one in the picture below is Emmons costume jewelry. I’m still trying to figure out if the stone is real aquamarine, CZ, or deceivingly sharp cut glass. I cleaned it up and it looks BEAUTIFUL.

I also went to Barnes and Noble to get away from distractions and finish my Industrial Post article – which I did! It’s been sent off for review. Couldn’t leave without perusing the place though, and I ended up buying 2 books: Crossed by Ally Condie (haven’t read the first one yet, it’s in my pile) and Speechless by Hannah Harrington.

Came home and after wasting some time online telling myself I should get off and do something productive, I decided I wanted to make pillowcases for our couch pillows. The fabric I was going to use was useless though, as it had these huge stickers that left residue I couldn’t get off. So I chose a fabric from my archives, and I was testing it out in the living room against the couches when my mom walked by and said NO.

Soooo, I decided I would attempt to finally make a gathered skirt for myself, like I had originally intended to do when I bought the fabric. 3 hours later, I wound up with a wearable skirt with INSET POCKETS, WUT.

It looks cute, I know. It’s actually skanky in disguise. Can’t bend over or wear it on a day when there is any wind unless you’re wearing tights and/or booty shorts underneath, true story. I also feel like it makes me look like a baby whale cause there’s so many gathers, but oh well.

Everything is Stressful

Day 26.

Today I’m grateful that there’s only 4 weeks left of this term.

Because everything is stressful and there’s too much to do and too little time to do it and it’s fucking week 7 and I’m still undecided about whether my portfolio is going to be just my photography or what.

I’ve made preliminary pages that showcase my illustration skills. I feel like I’d be like a “fraud” or something if I walk into my interview and present just my photography. Like, I’ve just spent the past 3 years learning and honing skills in fashion design, you know? I mean…I’ve also spent the last 3 years doing that with photography, but I didn’t pay like $65,000 to do that.

Sigh. I just want everything to be over with and I want to lay around and drink and sleep all day for like at least a month straight until I get bored out of my mind.

I’m also stressing out about internships because everyone keeps asking me about where I’m going to go and how I’m going to be able to do out-of-state and what happens if I don’t get any of the out-of-state ones and blah blah blah and I’m just like please leave me alone to think about all of this myself.

I Like to Scare Myself Sometimes

Sometimes I watch movies like Valentino: The Last Emperor and Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton and I’m like…goddamnit. Why did I choose such a competitive profession to be in?

Today I watched Seamless, a movie that chronicled the journeys of (mainly) 3 designers in the CFDA’s first ever Vogue Fashion Fund competition in 2004. They focused in on Proenza Schouler (who won, by the way) Doo Ri and Cloak by Alexandre Plohkov.

Proenza Schouler duo Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough

Anyway, watching movies like this that really get up and personal with fashion designers scares me. They really put the whole thing into perspective – especially Seamless. It wasn’t all too in-depth, as some other movies I’ve seen have been. But one of the parts that really stuck out to me were the interviews the designers had with the judges, in which they were asked about profitability, overhead, volume, and all that other stuff that I know I should probably learn to concern myself with, but I honestly don’t want to. I can’t tell if it’s the terminology that scares me, or the reality of having to probably actually know all of it.

Not only that, but the winners, Proenza Schouler, were 25 and 26 at the time that they won this award. Not to mention, their senior design thesis was bought by Barney’s and sold in stores. Let me type that one more time for everyone: THEIR SENIOR DESIGN THESIS WAS BOUGHT BY BARNEY’S AND SOLD IN STORES.

Shit like that makes me feel inferior and further confused about what exactly it is that I want to do with my fashion degree. First of all, let me say that I’m pretty sure Barney’s would never buy any collection that an IADT senior would make, because like…we just don’t produce those kinds of designers. Like even I’m not lofty enough to presume such high aspirations. I feel like people who go to Parsons (i.e. Proenza Schouler!) have a refined eye for design. Now, I will say that I believe I personally belong there, however. (Side note: short history as to why I’m still in Michigan – my mom convinced me to stay at home for college due to financial reasons.)

But the fact of the matter is that I do not go to Parsons and my senior design studio collection will not be bought by any major retailer. And it’s not that that scares me. What scares me is that there are people out there my age who are doing greater things than I am. While I’m admittedly envious of this, I also see the other viewpoint: I will also do great things. In my own time. I can feel it.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but I have a deeply ingrained feeling that I am destined for greatness. Cliche? Maybe. Lofty? Maybe. Determined? Absolutely. No one will ever be able to tear down that pedestal I’ve placed myself upon because I make what I want to happen, happen.

So while watching movies like Seamless scares me, they also mentally empower and prepare me for the road I’m walking down. And I think part of the reason I watch them is because I enjoy scaring myself like that. I enjoy preparing myself for success, even if it means I get a little flustered in the process. What is life without adventure and risk, anyway?

Throwbacks

My butt hurts.

I’ve pretty much literally been sitting all day long and right now is about the first segment of significant time since before I got in my car to go to work this morning that I haven’t sat on my ass for hours on end.

But it was worth it. I finished all my patterns for my halfscales for FD3 and sewed 2 of the looks and did flats and thumbnails. PHEW. Seriously you guys, this class.

Anyway, so I ordered that white violin I mentioned in a previous post this past week. Yesterday I was having regrets about spending my money like it grows on trees, but today I’m in the mind set of IS IT HERE YET!? I am so excited for this thing. No, I don’t know how to play violin. But that’s okay. I might learn a bit. And then stick that bitch on my wall. YES.

Also, whilst browsing Tumblr, I was reminded of the song Heartless by Kanye West. Remember that one? It was one of my favorite songs in it’s beginning days. Then it was heavily overplayed. I also really loved it’s predecessor single, Love Lockdown. Those were good days. I don’t care how much of a douchebag Kanye is or will be, I will continue to listen to his music because that fucker puts out good shit…Goddamn that was a good album though.

Speaking of throwbacks, today my Pandora stations were really throwing out the good stuff. I heard old school Simple Plan, Bowling for Soup, and Panic! At the Disco among many others. I was also reminded of The Raconteurs, whose existence I had shamefully forgotten about.

Lastly, I read this article on Thought Catalog today, and the Rihanna portion stood out to me. I follow her on Twitter, but I’m not the kind of Tweeter who actually goes and reads people’s tweets or spends my day on Twitter, so I’m kinda out of the loop. But that girl does tweet a lot about weed, partying, and psalms. It’s actually kinda hilarious. I approve. I want to be Rihanna’s friend. She got dropped by Nivea because they’re prudes, but that bitch don’t need Nivea. She got millions. Nom sayin’? Also, people need to get over/accept her Man Down video/song. That shit is meaningful and one of her best works. Seriously.

On Grades and Shit.

You know, fuck grades.

I’m really annoyed with my current grades for fashion design 3 class as I feel 2/3 of them are incorrect. I will be complaining on Wednesday. I can understand the 50% on my halfscales from last week, even though I think it’s fucking ridiculous that I got F’s on them, but I don’t understand why I have less than 350 points for my inspo pics and thumbnails when I turned all that shit in already. What the fuck.

Seriously. What the fuck.

Also, I’m pissed with all the shit we have to complete by next Wednesday. Like, I get that it’s an upper level class, but there is literally like not enough time to do all the shit we have to do for that fucking class PLUS 3 other classes. What the fuck do these corporate people think we fucking do all day? I don’t live and breathe school. I don’t have 67 hours in a day to do all this shit and read for literally an impossible amount of hours each day for each class.

Also, FUCK patterns on manila paper. Why the fuck would anyone put PATTERNS on manila paper? You put SLOPERS on manila because they’re used to make patterns so they got a lot of wear. Seriously, this teacher should know better. She uses industry patterns all the time and we all fucking know they’re on TISSUE PAPER so they don’t TAKE UP SPACE. You don’t fucking put patterns and fucking manila. That’s a waste of expensive ass paper.

I’m so annoyed right now.

Fuck this term already.