The Stresses

I’m upset.

Reason 1: 

Tonight I had to deal with very upset customers because one of my co-workers neglected to mention the item she bought was FINAL SALE (not returnable). At the end of the ordeal, the lady happy with a smile on her face. But that does not diminish the fact that I had to deal with her anger for a good 20 minutes prior to having to make her happy because of someone else’s ineptitude and greediness.

Reason 2:

With less than a week of wearing my second pair of contacts, I have officially put a tear in my left one while taking it out tonight because my nails are long and I pinched it out with my nails. This is entirely my fault. And I’m simultaneously mad and sad about it. It’s one of those situations where I just want to kick myself because there is no one else to blame but me. We have a word for it in Romanian, but there isn’t one in English.

Reason 3:

My job sucks. I hate retail. I hate customer service. Jobs in the field I studied are very much not abundant in Michigan and I do not have the funds to move out to a different state/country. Any time I apply for a design job that’s out of state, I feel like it’s completely useless and like I’m not being taken seriously because of where I got my degree from, because I’m out of state, and because no matter how impressive my skills set and honors are, I feel like my resume doesn’t reflect what verbal communication does.

Reason 4: 

I think the stress of working more and worrying about bills and future jobs prospects is making my hair fall out, but I’m not sure. My pony tail feels really small when my hair is straight or wet. But when it’s curly, it feels fine – it’s super thick as usual. The idea itself only adds to my worry list which I know is absolutely 100% NOT conducive for creating a positive outlook for myself.

Reason 5: 

I joined Weight Watchers again and instead of losing weight in the past week, I managed to gain weight. Additionally, I find that I do not have enough time in the day to exercise and do everything else I need to do. This is also stressful.

Can I please be a kid again? Life was so much simpler then.


On Expensive Cars and First Chances

Hey. It’s been a while, I know.

So last night my car pooped out on me again. Not entirely, but some parts needed to be replaced that affected the steering. Like I was driving home and I could only turn the steering wheel about 2 or 3 inches. It was pretty bad. Got it fixed today – $600.

Meanwhile, my dad and I went to a local Buick dealership where one of his friends works as a car salesman. We got quotes on the Buick Encore (which in my opinion looks like an adorable triceratops dinosaur) and the Buick Verano. Both of them are rather luxurious cars that are basically out of my price range for how very depressing my checks are. The Verano is the cheaper option at $333 a month for 72 months. I already pay $364 a month for student loans. I don’t even make enough money in one month to pay for a new car AND student loans and it’s really depressing.

I’ve been searching for jobs in my field and applying for ones that sound relevant and interesting to me and I have the qualifications for, but VERY few of them have even gotten back to me at all with any kind of rejection notice. Which is probably even more depressing.

Like how the actual fuck and am I supposed to gain experience if no one will even give me a chance to show them what I’m capable of? I realize I’m one of millions of grads out there in this situation, which is even MORE depressing. It’s extremely frustrating and aggravating applying for jobs I know I won’t even get considered for for god knows what varying reasons.

I think I’m going to try my luck at self-starting again. At times I feel like I’m beating a dead horse with self-starting on Etsy, but whatever. It never hurts to try. Learn from mistakes, make new ones, learn from those. Vicious cycle. If you want it bad enough, don’t let anything stop you. Yup. SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS GUYS.

Positive attitudes. That’s what keeps the world going.