I feel like I’m kind of at a crossroads in my life. Maybe. I think.

There are times when I don’t know what I want to do anymore. But the fire within me for being a fashion designer still burns, and I still feel the same about it: my ultimate goal is to make people happy through clothes.

However, I’m having a hard time finding a way into the industry and getting myself known and showing off my abilities. But I live in Michigan. And the metro Detroit area to boot. We are starters here. What we don’t have, we make. My problem is not so much the making of goods, but rather the providing of services. I don’t know where to begin to get my product out, besides like Etsy, where the competition is so thick, I get lost in the throng.

I need immediate turnover. I need people to see my stuff and say yes, I want this now. I want this today. Not add it to some wishlist or favorites group for a maybe later. This is the biggest challenge for me. Is getting a footing and establishing myself. But I guess before I do that I need to figure out exactly what my niche is going to be. I seem to really be drawn to making jewelry. And taking photos. I haven’t properly sketched clothes since college to be honest, and that’s a problem. I don’t enjoy the computer aided design aspect of it at all and I’ll be the first to admit to it. I loathe the Gerber program and while Illustrator flats can be okay to do sometimes, I generally find the practice tedious and annoying. I am not a technical designer by any stretch.

But I like coming up with concepts and ideas and little details. I like making color palettes and organizing things and looking at things from different angles to better understand them. Nonetheless, I still feel lost. I know what I’m good at, but I tend to forget and think of myself as not being good at anything worth while. And then it’s a whole whirlwind of “BUT HOW WILL I SUPPORT MYSELF IF I CAN’T DO X AND Y!?” It’s a tumultuous mental journey that I’ve been having far too often lately and I need to figure out a way to get out of it. Like, asap.

On the bright side, I have faith things will turn around. They always do. There is an ending to every journey, so new ones may begin. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I do know it will change. Everything always changes.

On Expensive Cars and First Chances

Hey. It’s been a while, I know.

So last night my car pooped out on me again. Not entirely, but some parts needed to be replaced that affected the steering. Like I was driving home and I could only turn the steering wheel about 2 or 3 inches. It was pretty bad. Got it fixed today – $600.

Meanwhile, my dad and I went to a local Buick dealership where one of his friends works as a car salesman. We got quotes on the Buick Encore (which in my opinion looks like an adorable triceratops dinosaur) and the Buick Verano. Both of them are rather luxurious cars that are basically out of my price range for how very depressing my checks are. The Verano is the cheaper option at $333 a month for 72 months. I already pay $364 a month for student loans. I don’t even make enough money in one month to pay for a new car AND student loans and it’s really depressing.

I’ve been searching for jobs in my field and applying for ones that sound relevant and interesting to me and I have the qualifications for, but VERY few of them have even gotten back to me at all with any kind of rejection notice. Which is probably even more depressing.

Like how the actual fuck and am I supposed to gain experience if no one will even give me a chance to show them what I’m capable of? I realize I’m one of millions of grads out there in this situation, which is even MORE depressing. It’s extremely frustrating and aggravating applying for jobs I know I won’t even get considered for for god knows what varying reasons.

I think I’m going to try my luck at self-starting again. At times I feel like I’m beating a dead horse with self-starting on Etsy, but whatever. It never hurts to try. Learn from mistakes, make new ones, learn from those. Vicious cycle. If you want it bad enough, don’t let anything stop you. Yup. SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS GUYS.

Positive attitudes. That’s what keeps the world going.

A Few Things…

…that annoy me about one on one customer service jobs:

1. Customers who think they’re more important than other customers. Who are you that you think you deserve my attention RIGHT THIS SECOND RIGHT NOW while you can CLEARLY see that I’m currently with someone else? Who are you to rudely “tsk tsk tsk” behind my back while I’m with another customer? Fuck you.

2. Customers who make me take out items placed in hard to reach spots in the showcases and THEN DON’T BUY SHIT. SUCK MY DICK.

3. Customers who make me give prices on items in every. single. case. AND THEN DON’T BUY ANYTHING. SERIOUSLY GO AWAY OMG.

4. Customers who complain that gold is so expensive now, but ask if they can get like a thick 30 inch chain for ~$100. UM NO, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. THIS IS 2013 HOMIE.


And now for some good news: I HAVE SKIRTS UP FOR SALE IN MY ETSY SHOP!!
Get them here: And I do custom orders as well :)

Dear Etsy Sellers

Dear Etsy Sellers,

I’m gonna try to keep this short since I only have a few things to complain about.

First of all, I’d like to say that most of you have some RIDICULOUS prices for what you’re selling. Not all of you! But a lot of you. Who in their right mind is about to drop $35,000 on a 2 carat diamond ring on Etsy? Really? Or more than $3 on something made of brass or plastic or resin or otherwise worthless. Let’s not fool ourselves here – if you want people to pay high prices, make good products out of high quality materials.

This ring is $35,000. You’d think I’d understand that, being in fine jewelry. I don’t. It’s not even like pure gold. 18 karats? Shitty.

Secondly, all of you who have those illegal BNS things and illegally email other users and harass them to be in the BNS’s need to stop. Like, now. I don’t fucking want 3 emails a day from your ass. Who are you? I don’t care about your shit, you’re not GAP telling me I get to save 40% on something I want, so don’t email me. Thanks.

Thirdly, I still think the majority of you guys are buttholes. I continue to find that many of you hold on to your “trade secrets” like it’s a sin to utter a word about them. I’m not trying to steal your business. I just want to know where I can find assloads of crystals for prices lower than your retail ones. Why is that so hard to divulge? Like, maybe I just want to have buckets of quartz and bismuth. 

That’s really about it. I don’t expect things to change, but boy, wouldn’t it be nice?

– A Fellow Seller

Crystals and Snobs.

My thoughts for today are this:

There should be certain information that should not take 10 million years to uncover and should not be clutched so dearly to people’s chests. In this case, I speak of crystals/precious/semi-precious stones and roughs and where I can purchase them semi-wholesaled so I can make jewelry and sell it.

I’ve spent at least the last hour or more googling in earnest trying to find a proper answer, and can’t seem to come across a legit enough website with the answers I’m looking for. I stooped low enough to contact various (snobby) sellers on Etsy and ask where they get their shit from. I know I’m either going to get no response or some kind of evasive answer that will include BUY MY STUFF. Which is ridiculous. Like, yes, I understand you don’t want competition, but uh, you’ve GOT competition already! Another rock in the pool is not going to make a difference.

I mean really. This isn’t some kind of big secret. Share your infos.

I asked a good chunk of sellers on Etsy about 2 years ago where they get their mini dollhouse bottles from and I got the above reactions: no response or “oh, well, just buy my stuff.” Umm, no! That’s not why I PMed you, asshole!

But anyway, I’ve wanted to make my own crystal jewelry for a while now. Except I lack crystals. Or sources that could point me to sellers. I bought 2 pink quartz points from a crystal store in downtown Ferndale last summer, but they’re not wholesale. However, I only paid maybe 2 bucks for them? I don’t know, I need to research this more.