The Weather Disappoints Me

You know those songs that come on the radio or your shuffled playlist and you have to dance/sing/turn them up? The Real Slim Shady is one of those songs for me. Among many other Eminem songs. Also, this is the cutest Eminem gif ever:

It’s finally beginning to cool off here in Michigan. My mom and I went to the Renaissance Festival today and it was probably the coldest weather, at about 74 and blustery, we’ve experienced in all the years we’ve gone – although definitely not the shittiest, as we’ve gone during super gloomy and cloudy days.

This weather, however, has me simultaneously sad and excited for end of summer/fall season. Summer seems to have come and gone insanely quickly this year. We didn’t have any chart topping days that I can relish in reminiscing about. It was a pretty lame and rather under the radar kind of season. However, I did get a decent tan regardless of not having spent a massive amount of time outside. I’m actually kinda sad that I haven’t gone swimming since July. But I don’t think I can submerge my head beneath pool water while my nose is still healing.

Speaking of which, I bought a 14k gold hoop for my noise today at RenFest and I’m pretty excited to be able to wear it once I’m all healed up. I also bought these two gorgeous pendants – a sterling silver oyster with a black pearl in it and a sterling silver octopus with a white pearl for a head, both very large pearls – from this guy I got a sweet pirate ship pendant from last year. He gave me a discount as well because he remembered/liked me (and probably also because I was wearing my pirate ship). The only other things I bought were specialty honeys and fancy honey mustard that cleared out my sinuses.

This One’s For You, Em.

Dear Marshall Mathers,

Earlier this month when I said that Billy Talent are lyrical geniuses of my generation, I probably should’ve parenthesed (?) you in there, because there are few people out there who can spit out a rhyme like you can. So let me start off by saying that I love you, I love you, I love you. I have loved you from the first time I heard Slim Shady playing on 93.1 DRQ over a decade ago and I have continued to love you through your entire musical metamorphosis.

I don’t remember when I learned you were from Michigan, or even when I learned we used to live in the same area and went to the same school, but I remember feeling unbearably proud. I am still unbearably proud to say that yes, I used to attend Lincoln and that yes, 8 Mile was right there and that yes, I did actually used to live a few blocks down from your often-rapped about home on Chalmers.

But going back to your music, and especially your musical metamorphosis – I don’t think I’ve ever stuck around a musician who has changed their sound for so long. You went from this punkass white kid with a semi-squeaky voice, rapping about killing bitches to this mature, beautiful man rap-singing about the saddest shit I’ve ever heard in the form of the song Space Bound. I don’t think I could be prouder to just…be from the same place as you.

And that’s another thing. I feel like a lot of us here in Michigan, and if not a lot, at least me, feel as if even though we don’t know you personally, we act like we kind of do. For example, I know a plethora of people who know you personally, so I guess I could say I have 1 degree of separation in many directions. Also, I’m still pretty sure I saw you driving once and that was one of the best days of my life. It is a goal in life for me to meet you some day. I will bask in the ambiance of your white boy accent and probably foam at the mouth just because.

I hope you continue to make music and I really hope you get your ridiculous titillating and shocking shit back. Remember when The Slim Shady LP came out and everyone was beyond outraged? Yeah, come on Em, gimme some ‘o dat. I wanna listen to you go on about outrageous things like throwing bitches in the lake. Stan was a ground-breaking song. I want more. I also wish you’d get your squeaky punkass voice back. I appreciate your matured deep man voice, but god…The Slim Shady LP and The Marshall Mathers LP were just phenomenal pieces of work.

Much love,
Forever a fan

P.S. When I was about 12 or 13, I totally bought a hoodie from Steve & Barry’s just because it said MARSHALL on it, in your honor. Dedication, homeboy.