Happy and Stressed

A huge milestone has officially been reached in my life as of yesterday: I have bought my first brand spanking new car! Like, new car smell and automatic windows and remote start and all.

It is both thrilling and terrifying. While I don’t know firsthand what it’s like to have kids, I imagine it’s a lot like being a car owner. You’re constantly worried about their safety, making sure to steer them carefully and being extra cautious about others in the near vicinity. I checked on it constantly while I was at work today to make sure no one was parked too close or threatened the safety of it.

I drove extra cautiously to make sure I didn’t get in an accident or pulled over (partly because I left my proof of insurance and purchase at home) and exited carefully as well to make sure the door didn’t hit anything. Seriously, owning your own brand new car is a lot of stress.

Anyway, so we (the family) went out to dinner tonight because I had $125 in giftcards to Outback Steakhouse, to celebrate getting this car. FOR WHATEVER REASON, my dad decided that we should take my old ghetto car, which is now replacing his even ghettoer car, and I still cannot fathom WHY. That car is too small to fit us all in there comfortably and we could have taken my mom’s which is the roomiest  and everyone would have sat comfortably with enough leg room.

So I ordered 2 Sangrias and got drunk to cheer myself up a bit because I was genuinely angry. However, at the end of the night, everyone was rushing me to get up and go home – which is another thing I don’t understand because what the fuck are we going to do at home? – so I went back to being pissed off and I yelled at everyone about the whole car thing. First time being angry drunk.

I’m just really stressed out right now with student loans, car payments, my various bills, things that need to be bought for the house that no one else is going to pick up the bill on, both jobs and trying to find a better paying job or a third job. And on top of it all, familial interactions are stressful as fuck. My mom’s mom got a computer and the internet and we’ve been talking on Google hangouts, however sometimes I don’t answer because I don’t have anything to say and she gets upset.

IT’S JUST TOO MUCH.

I need to get away from here.

On the bright side though, check out the dashboard on my baby. It’s pretty baller.

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Today, I’m Happy to be Alive

I may have gotten in a spin out car accident at 70mph that totaled my mom’s car and caused major delays for about an hour on I-75 southbound today, but I’m not going to let that stop me from starting on this month’s pre-NANOWRIMO writing challenge. I’ve searched the interwebs for writing prompts and have not found any that are of interest to me thus far, so today I’ll just take it easy. Besides, I’m pretty sure I’m still in a mild form of shock from the accident and I’m starting to really feel the impact all on my left side and between my boobs and hip bones where my seatbelt cut in.

None of the airbags deployed. That’s either because the impact wasn’t strong enough, or shitty design. Either way, the car is pretty banged up all on the left side. Back tire’s missing, my driver’s side window shattered in millions of pieces, which consequently stuck to me and scratched me everywhere. I am so incredibly lucky and immensely grateful that I was able to escape this with only minor cuts and bruises. I remember screaming NO NO NO as it was happening.

A witness pulled over and stayed with me until the police came. He was really nice and he calmed me down for the most part, but I was still in shock so I kept bursting into tears saying my dad is going to be so pissed. I did this enough times that after reassuring me that my dad is going to be thankful that I’m alive more than anything, he seemed to snap a bit and told me to stop. But then he went back to consoling me. Honestly, I’m glad he pulled over at all. Though I am sorry he had to deal with my hysterical ass.

About half an hour after the accident, I finally called my dad since my mom wasn’t picking up on either her cellphone or the house phone. I thought he was going to yell at me, but he actually kept his cool. He arrived on the scene and I saw him say something from across the road in a pissy manner, but I have no idea what it was he said. It might’ve been something like why did you take your mom’s car? I don’t want to say I wish it would’ve been my car, because who knows if I’d be here being able to recount the story if it had been my car, but my mom’s car was the newest and most reliable car out of the 3 of ours. It did not need to be totaled. Not that anyone’s car who is in an accident needs to be totaled. But now, instead of replacing my shitty car, we’re going to be replacing (most likely) my mom’s, and that car worked just fine.

I’m just really glad to be alive right now. When I came home, I hugged my mom and we were both crying and then my dad came upstairs and told me to stop crying and then he hugged me too and then he started crying too.

I haven’t seen him cry since his dad died.

I Guess I’m “About Dat Lyfe” Now?

There’s something about stepping out of your comfort zone that makes you see the beauty in life and the world around you.

Tonight on my drive home from Detroit my brain got all artsy. First of all, the old train station can be seen from where the studio is, and on my way to the freeway, I get some pretty good views of it on Michigan Ave. And it looks extra gorgeous because despite being abandoned, the city of Detroit has decided to add like…spotlights that light up the outside of the building and it looks like this sweet fucking old building with all these empty floors and black windows.

A picture of the train station that I snapped Summer 2011. Can't believe it's been that long!

A picture of the train station that I snapped Summer 2011. Can’t believe it’s been that long!

I keep trying to grab a picture of it at night but my phone camera really sucks for that shit and I can’t manage to stop my car without looking suspicious. I tried a few times tonight but didn’t get anything good at all.

Anyway, back to my drive. There’s this church on the side of I-75 before it actually become I-75 North that’s lit up at night much like the train station and it is absolutely gorgeous.

I’ve decided that I need to be chauffeured around Detroit at night so I can take pictures of gorgeous buildings like this. Because there’s no way I can take any kind of pictures of places like that while I’m driving. Also, I will not be so naive as to lull myself into the false idea that Detroit is safe. Especially not at night. And not by my suburban white girl self.

Drivers Are Stupid.

I have always wanted to make a sort of “official” Things You Do That Make You A Douchebag While Driving list. Today will probably not be the day that that happens, however, I would like to complain about a few certain key points.

  1. Tailgating. I am more than positive that I’m not the only person that hates this. I cannot stand when people ride your ass, especially when you’re already driving above the speed limit. Like really Speedy Gonzalez, you’re gonna do that right now? Unless you’re birthing a baby out your vagina or you’re driving someone who is, you need to not be that douchebag.
  2. Lane-Hoppers. I hate you. You need to not swerve your ass in front of my car at high speeds and cut me off when there’s like the tiniest of spaces available. Like I’m pretty sure the only way you got into that space is because I had to brake to let your arrogant ass in.
  3. Slow Drivers. Listen, I know you’re technically allowed to drive under the speed limit by like 5 miles, [because you can totally get a ticket for driving too slow, I know people that have had that happen!] but I really don’t want to be driving at 40 mph when the posted speed limit gives me the capacity to accelerate to 45. Pay attention to signs damnit!
  4. Double left-turn lane assholes. Nearly every day, I take a particular road that requires I make a left turn lane at the end of it. This is no ordinary left turn lane though – oh no. It is a magical double left turn lane which means there’s two whole lanes turning at the same time. Now, this concept is fantastic because it allows people who need to merge onto I-75 to sit in the outer left turn lane, and people who plan on driving straight, to the inner lane. However, there are some haughty assholes out there who think that they’re smart. They like to sit in the inner lane because it generally has less cars, and then when they’re turning, decide to cut across 3 lanes of traffic so they can merge onto I-75 South when they should have been chillin’ in the outer lane. Listen here motherfuckers: you could fucking kill people like that. Stop doing it.
  5. U-Turn turds. I believe this is mainly a Michigan problem, since I’m told that we’re the only state that has legal U-turns. Like there’s a nice grassy median between opposing lanes and then you do this thing where you merge into this lane and then you swivel your car and you wait. Now, again, this is a fantastic idea – except when you’re again in the inner lane, and the asshole next to you in the outer lane has pulled their car up so far that you can’t see anything of oncoming traffic, which means that you have no idea whether you can go or not on a red light [or a non-light]. Fuck all ya’ll too. This one can in fact even be applied to just regular sitting and waiting for turns. There’s always that one asshole that blocks the view with their massive gas guzzling GMC truck.
And there’s a lot more where that came from.