Why 8 AM?

Tomorrow, I “officially” graduate college.

Frankly, I’m still pissed I have to get up at 6 AM in the morning so I can be there at 8. 8!? 8 IN THE MORNING? I DON’T EVEN WAKE UP THAT EARLY FOR WORK. Seriously. I’ve been complaining about this for months, and now that the time is finally here, I’m STILL annoyed about it. Idk where I’ll actually head to bed but I’ll be getting somewhere around 6 hours of sleep tonight. Which is NOT enough for me to function at my optimal proficiency.

On the bright side though, I did buy special heels for tomorrow’s ceremony. I had seen them earlier in the week at Nordstrom Rack and the color really stood out to me – they’re like an extremely light robin’s egg blue. They remind me of my mom’s shoes that she wore when she went to get her marriage license. I’m pretty excited to wear them.

I also really hope they’ll feed us at least some kind of snacks while we’re there rehearsing because it’s a whole 3 hours of being there before all our relatives arrive. I’m surprisingly not really scared about driving to the venue though. It’s a straight shot on a freeway, basically. (YAY for conquering fears!!)

One thing I am annoyed about, besides the whole waking up at 6 thing, is that the dress I’m wearing tomorrow shrunk when I washed it (I air dried it outside) and because it shrunk, the zipper does this weird thing where it pulls the fabric in the back up and it looks really weird like I have some kind of awful wedgie or something. But I’m still going to wear it because I’d planned for weeks that it was going to be my graduation dress.

And with that, I think I’ll turn in and read some Hunger Games before bed.

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That Grad Life

Today was nice. The weather was pleasant for a good portion, (it’s been raining since ~4 PM) so I had a great run before I headed off to school for the graduation fair, which thankfully, despite the power going out and all the classes being cancelled, was still going on.

Hit up the bar after followed by hanging out with Alyza and Tina for a bit and I just finished watching about 2 hours of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I’m seriously in love with that show.

Omg, I’m A College Graduate, What?

How I feel emotionally right now:

To add injury to insult, it feels like my wounds have been licked by a salted cat’s tongue. But I’ll get through it. Because I’m accustomed to picking up the pieces and  powering on. I’m surprised I’m taking this as well as I am though. I guess I realize that it’s really not my loss and I’m better off. Back to square one it is.

But the highlight of today outshines this laceration in every way. 

Anyway. So I’m like officially done with college now. It’s kind of blowing my mind. I got really drunk last night at bowling and the bar after. And then, of course, I left evidence in written form on the internet because that’s what drunk me loves to do. But I had a lot of fun and I was happy more than like five people showed up to the event.

I’m kind of confused as to what to do with my life, though. I mean, not like obscenely confused, but I just finished over a decade straight of school and now I’m expected to enter “the real world” or something? I know what I’m going to be doing first: cleaning. And making lists of things I need to get done, like starting to make things to sell. And more photography. And many more Vivography posts. And catching up on tv and movies. And refining my Adobe skills.

Good lord, I have life to catch up on. I will start by watching the last two Once Upon A Time episodes I missed.

Spotify is Kinda Awesome

Maybe it’s the drunkeness and exhaustion of last night, but I am so tired today.

Maybe it’s also the fact that I went to the gym and showered (bathing usually makes me kinda sleepy).

Tomorrow is my last day of college. I’m feeling the bittersweetness really start to sink in. How has 3 and a half years flown by so quickly? How am I 21? How have I managed to pass all these classes? How did I not completely lose my mind? What is my life?

Also, I have this thing I do where I get stubborn and refuse to do things that are popular at a given time because everyone else is doing them. Anyway, I finally gave in yesterday and got Spotify. Sometimes I want to smack myself for being stubborn, BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS AWESOME. FREE MUSIC!? WHOLE ALBUMS!? UM YES PLEASE AND THANKS.

That is all that I care to expound on tonight.

On Getting My First B.

I decided to check my grades today to see if any of them were in yet. Turns out one was: I got my first ever college grade that is not an A. Somehow, and I honestly have no idea how because I checked my grade the other day and I was getting an A, I ended up with a B in Literature and Film of all fucking classes.

At first I was very disappointed and slightly confused, then I was angry, now I’m just kinda pissed and wondering what exactly tipped me over to a B. This is a disgusting blemish on my neat A’s. And I know what you’re thinking: wow, get over it, it’s not the end of the world. Grades don’t matter in the real world, it’s just a B, blah blah blah. In fact, I agree. But in college, I have not shaped up to be anything other than a straight A student, and therefore, this is a slap to my ego. And I don’t like it. And quite honestly, I really don’t see how I earned it.

But alas, life must go on. Today I had a nice relaxing day consisting of shopping, swimming, and about 6 or 7 hours of Netflix. I watched another episode of Mad Men (GOD THAT SHOW IS SO GOOD) and then decided I wanted to watch a movie, so I finally watched What Dreams May Come, starring Robin Williams, which had been in my instant queue for a few months.

I was expecting one of those touching comedies, because I often expect comedies when Robin Williams is concerned. I was disappointed. It was a weird mix of…fantasy, weirdness, and depressing shit. I cried at the end. It reminded me of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. I probably won’t watch it ever again.

Bumblebee is muh boiii.

Afterwards, I watched Transformers 3 with my mom cause it’s apparently a new release on Netflix and I love Transformers and I hadn’t seen this one yet. IT WAS SO GOOD. I wasn’t expecting it to be as good as the others, but IT DAMN WELL WAS. One of my favorite things about the Transformers movies is that there is never a dull moment. I had to pee halfway through, but I was so engrossed in the movie, I opted out of even pausing it for a pee break. Also, those two little Autobots that provided a lot of comic relief throughout the movie – I wish they were real so I could take them everywhere with me.

A Graduation Post.

I just spent the last 10 minutes or so crying about a DAYDREAM. The Glee season finale (which I will discuss shortly) peppered me up, but I had a good little cry session in the mirror (I know, this just sounds all kinds of odd) and now I feel better. What threw me over the edge was imagining my future daughter (if I were to ever have such a thing) telling me she had an imaginary friend named Lena and I immediately knew it was my great-grandmother. And I just started bawling. I am of the nature to believe in such things, and I wonder if even though I imagined this, it was her way of saying hello from the other side tonight. She passed away about 13 years ago and I don’t often think about her, but I have a strong feeling she poked my brain. WHAT IF IT WAS A PREMONITION THOUGH!? Oh my god, children…that I popped out…
 
I’m not entirely against having kids. I mean, don’t get me wrong, for the most part I am. They’re a huge responsibility among many, many other things. But if the right person came along and really wanted to have kids with me, I might consider it…I could be swayed. BUT I NEVER SAID THAT. *COUGH*
 
So about that Glee finale! I missed it last week, and I actually, believe it or not, had time to watch it tonight! First of all, the music choices were pretty great. What got me though was the graduation ceremony. That was LITERALLY the most unrealistic graduation ceremony I have ever seen on television. They were called out of alphabetical order, they freaking CAME OUT THROUGH CURTAINS and there were about 35 graduating seniors on that stage. Their high school cannot be a multi-national sports champion high school with so little graduates – no way in flaming hell. 
 
However, that particular scene jogged the reminiscence of my high school graduation and that’s when I started being on the verge of tears. I remember feeling nervous and excited as well as sad. I was extra nervous and excited because I was in choir my senior year (BEST FUCKING 6TH HOUR IN THE WORLD, BTW) and we performed at graduation. I wore my very high heeled Guess by Marciano wedges and happened to be on the top steps of the choral stairs. I had no trouble getting up there, but getting down was a different story. I personally think it was one of the most amusing parts of the whole ceremony and I look back on it with merriment. I got stuck on the top step (mostly due to fear of falling down and breaking my ankles or something of that nature) long after the rest of the choir had exited. I think about 2 or 3 of friends lagged behind to watch me struggle to get off the steps, and my fellow graduate friend Heather helped me down. I remember the audience laughing (me included) as our principal took to the microphone and I was still perched up there afraid of stepping down and slightly screaming for someone to help me down.
 

Oh look, it’s 17 year old me with short hair. Graduated with honors, bitches! Historian for National Honor Society 8). I think I might’ve been a little heavier here. I think. Maybe. I’m not sure.

Anyway, after remembering my high school graduation, I imagined what my college graduation might be like. I determined that I will probably cry, a lot. And hug people. Like, a lot a lot. I’ll probably be so emotional I’ll say really awkward things to people (it’s inevitable, I did it at my HS graduation too; I still feel embarrassed by those memories) and probably do awkward and embarrassing things as well.And then I shall be thrust into the real world.
 
And I will cry and wish I was a stupid teenager again with next to nothing responsibility, zero loan payment bills, and “real” summer vacations where I could stay up until 4 AM talking to friends on messenger chats and trolling the interwebz. Oh youth, where art thou gone?
ETA: WHY IS MY BLOG FUCKING UP THE LOOK OF THE TEXT TONIGHT. WHAT IS THIS SHIT.

Brilliant Ideas from the U.S. Senate

I’m in one of those moods where I need to give a piece of my mind, politically. I’ve already discussed my view points on the whole birth control “controversy” and related topics. Tonight it’s this: quote President Obama on Facebook “Nearly every Senate Republican voted today to double interest rates on federal college loans for more than 7 million students.

My mom told me about this earlier and we both kind of stood staring at each other for the briefest moment before we both said “now THAT’S what needs doubling in this country, STUDENT LOANS.” I mean really. Politics infuriates me point blank. Politics LATELY is igniting a fire under my ass that’s like a blow-torch of outrage and irritation. 

First of all, do these politicians really have nothing better to do with their time than to come up with bills like this? Of all the problems in all the world, why is it necessary to raise student loans interest rates? Answer: so the rich can get richer, so the poor can stay uneducated and poor.

In relation, I have these 2 photos that kind of sum up my ideas and stance on this. The first is the accompanying photo from Obama on Facebook. The second is one of my favorite photos on Tumblr, ever.

It’s ridiculous that we live in the supposed best country in the world, yet so many citizens of this country cannot afford to go to college. Doubling student loan interest rates is just going to keep oppressing people. That’s a sickening agenda.

Absolutely.