I’m Okay, I Am.

I feel like I’ve definitely been neglecting this blog and I’m not exactly okay with that.

I’ve been super busy with work for the past 2 weeks though, since it’s the holiday season and retail be crazy as fuck. I’ve made a plethora of sales though, and a few of them have been on the higher end, so that makes me happy. I’ve always got a great pile of gifts under my tree for my family, which for whatever reason also fills me with happiness.

My mom is still driving my absolutely crazy. She has these moments when it’s like she transforms into this ultra dragon-lady cunt and I’m like what the actual fuck is wrong with you and why the fuck are you yelling me? It’s so aggravating. I need to the get fuck out of this goddamn house before she gets worse because I cannot handle these bipolar attitude swings. Last night she called me to ask where she should park her car and I said to park it wherever the heck she wants. Next thing I know she’s yelling at me for having an attitude and I’m like – what? I did not have an attitude but I WILL have an attitude if you tell me I have one when I don’t. That shit really pisses me off.

Earlier she was doing something in my kitchen and started harping about how the drying dish sink is disorganized and you can’t place things in it correctly. I just wanted to smack her and tell her to go the fuck to bed already. I used to look forward to days when she was off from work, but now I find myself wishing she would work even more because she just pisses me off.

I’m at a weird point in my life right now. I can feel it’s like some kind of crossroad. I know I’m nearing a time when I need to start establishing my own roots (and moving the fuck out of this goddamn house) and sever the coddling umbilical cord between myself and my parental household. But I don’t have the funds (yet) to do so and do so in a “safe” way. And by safe, I mean in a way that will allow me to not come back because I can’t support myself.

It’s really distressing and I’m trying my very best to keep a positive attitude and mindset about everything. I’ve felt attacked by negative thoughts and attitudes and people lately and it feels like poison coursing through my veins and I absolutely fucking hate every minute of it.

*breathes in*

Happy holidays!

Merry Christmas Bitches!

Day 25: Morning

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you’re all having a wonderful day and you all got what you wished for for Christmas.

Morning picture of our tree.

I didn’t really wish for anything material this Christmas, so everything I got, I was thankful for getting at all. Here’s a list of everything I got this year, so far:

– The Hobbit ‘The Ring’ keychain
– The Hobbit bookmark
– The Hobbit leather journal
– Hello Kitty lock and key journal
The Big Bang Theory Soft Kitty hoodie (on backorder until March, so it’s not here yet)
– Chicboom portable speaker keychain (Uncle)
– Woodland charm bracelet, pin, Rick Astley cassette tape, some weird Obama booklet, a flyer for Love Letters Anonymous (Betsy)
– Under the Mistletoe (Justin Bieber), My World Acoustic (Justin Bieber) a Fun album (Alyza)
– Plaid print blanket, candle, makeup (Beth)
– $25 gift card to California Pizza Kitchen (Julia)
– $50 gift card to Outback Steakhouse (BFJ owners)
– Candle, tree ornament, homemade cookies, mug, hot cocoa mixes, Godiva (Carol)
– Hello Kitty coloring books, washcloths, candle, crayons, tree ornament, soap (Roxanne)
– Poinsetta plant (Diane)

And I’m told there’s more to come from some other people.

Last night I bought myself Christmas presents to myself in the form of Amazon MP3 downloads – got Rihanna’s Unapologetic album, Lana del Ray’s Paradise, and Ellie Goulding’s Halcyon. They were only $1.99 each, of course I snatched that up.

Also, today I decided to clean my room but a bit, as well as bring up all the underwear I had downstairs. And then I decided to count the pairs and organize it all. Picture below are 227/228. Threw away 18 after this picture was taken.

I ran out of room actually and originally had 2 rows on the floor, but I moved them up on the bed and managed to squish them to the far right.

It’s My Dick in a Box!!

Day 24: Favorite part of Christmas Eve.

I’m not entirely sure if I should’ve taken a picture of this? Honestly guys, I super suck this month and I’m not even doing this challenge like I should be. Whatever, I’m over it.

My favorite part of Christmas Eve this year was selling shitloads of jewelry at work and then coming home and getting to open the present from my rich uncle from Texas. He got me this really cute thing called a Chicboom and it’s a mini speaker for my portable devices and it’s adorable and I love it and it has real rabbit hair wrapped around the outside.

I’m also planning on watching Rent sometime tonight because it’s completely appropriate. Quote “December 24th, nine p.m. Eastern Standard Time. From here on in I shoot without a script…” Yesss please, I need some Roger in my life right about now.

I’ve also just shown my mom SNL’s Dick in a Box and Motherlover videos and she was thoroughly amused.

I’m Not Allowed to Enjoy My Fucking Life

Day 23: Scarf

Today was my first real day of “relaxing” so I basically did nothing. And by nothing I mean I sat around watching shit on Netflix for hours, writing, ALMOST started coloring in my new coloring books, and enjoyed being by myself for most of the day.

Of course, then my mom came home and bitched that I didn’t do anything and I was like are you fucking kidding me? You expect me to fucking do shit when I have no obligations to do anything? Fuuuuuck that. I WILL act like a guest in this house. I am on BREAK, bitch. I seriously don’t give a fuck!

Seriously though, I’m beginning to understand why people don’t like the holidays because it means family time. Like, I love my family. But holy shit, everyone’s home right now and all I want to fucking do is beat the shit out of them individually. Like, I just want to sit here and think and breathe by myself. Can you get the fuck out of my space? Literally how I feel right now. I can’t wait to be able to afford to live by myself. I’m going to relish in the solidarity and not having anyone badger me about anything or yell at me for not washing some stupid dishes or whatever other bullshit.

Anyway, I don’t have a picture of a scarf. But I do have a picture of a few of my friends at my End of the World Christmas Crafting Extravaganza Party this year!

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I love these people. It’s always nice to see friends after not seeing them for a year.

Well, damn.

Days 7 & 8: Bright & Ornaments.

I can’t believe it, but apparently last night my head was in the clouds and I TOTALLY MISSED A DAY OF BLOGGED AFTER OVER A YEAR OF DOING IT EVERY DAY. WUUUTTT.

It’s okay though cause I have pictures to make up for it.

I was down in Royal Oak a couple days ago to pick up fabric at Haberman’s for class and on my way home, I took a picture of the gorgeous lit up trees on Main Street. One of my favorite things about the holiday season is all the pretty lights everywhere. If I were a fly, I would be in trouble.

Notice the lack of snow. It was like 45 degrees that night. In December. In Michigan.

I bought this ornament last year at Target for like $5 because I thought it was just the cutest thing. I love ornaments with things in them – they make me inexplicably happy.

Speaking of Target, I dropped by tonight to check out their Neiman Marcus collection after my friend Krista had texted me earlier complaining it was really overpriced and she didn’t like the way it was being visually merchandised. I must agree with her on the price part – I’ve never seen a $99 dress at Target before until now.

But like I explained to her, their those prices for a reason. It’s Neiman Marcus. It’s not going to be cheap.