Life Sucks and I Don’t Get Paid Enough

Last week, I did some calculations about the amount of money I earn and how it gets used yearly to see what I have left over to use toward new car payments.

Surprise surprise, there are no new cars (aside from the Chevy Spark, really) that I could get with my measly income. Even then, I would still be on such a tight budget, that I wouldn’t be able to buy anything except the absolute bare necessities. That would mean no going out to eat – EVER. No buying new clothes that I might need. Nothing. Zero. Not one penny would be able to be sacrificed for anything. I would be working strictly to pay student loans and car payments.

Not only is this prospect extremely depressing for me, but when I look at it more broadly, I have to stop and wonder how other people manage to put food on their tables making less money than I do. I should however mention that I would make double the amount I do now if I were full time – I am only part time, which is part of why I earn under $10,000. INCLUDING COMMISSION AND MY SECOND JOB!

I’m increasingly becoming more and more disgruntled with the state of the job market, the level with which we cling to money as a means of evaluating a persons worth. As The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony goes:

Trying to make ends meet
You’re a slave to money
And then you die

It’s fucking disgusting, actually. It’s fucking disgusting that the richest 1% of Americans own 40% of this country’s wealth. It’s fucking disgusting that I can’t get a decent job with a piece of paper that put me over $60,000 in debt. It’s fucking disgusting that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer. Where is the middle class?

I’ll tell you what they did when they consolidated the American car companies a few years ago and terminated several brands: they cut out the “cheap” affordable brands. They said FUCK YOU! If you don’t have enough money to buy a Buick, too fucking bad.

However, I came across this article that I think it’s a good reminder to remain positive in the face of trying times. It’s called The 14 Habits of Highly Miserable People and it definitely sheds light on the negative things we do to sabotage ourselves.

I’ve been desperately trying to keep a positive outlook on my life in all aspects, but I’ve been very annoyed, sad, angry, and overall negative lately and I REALLY DON’T LIKE IT. I don’t know what these emotions do to me or how they make me act toward other people and I feel like a horrible person. I feel like there’s poison running through my veins and I know that I’m not this kind of soul naturally. I do not enjoy experiencing seething feelings.

Furthermore, and only because my mom came in my room annoyed just now am I reminded of this, but my relationship with her lately has been very aggravating. Like rubbing two abrasive rocks together. She says and does shit that pisses me off and I’m just like oh my god, dear lord save me. Like it’s just another reason why I need a job that pays livable wages and allows me to MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. I’m starting to go crazy. I’m starting to hermit myself my room or go out shopping just to be out of the house and away from her.

UGH!

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On Expensive Cars and First Chances

Hey. It’s been a while, I know.

So last night my car pooped out on me again. Not entirely, but some parts needed to be replaced that affected the steering. Like I was driving home and I could only turn the steering wheel about 2 or 3 inches. It was pretty bad. Got it fixed today – $600.

Meanwhile, my dad and I went to a local Buick dealership where one of his friends works as a car salesman. We got quotes on the Buick Encore (which in my opinion looks like an adorable triceratops dinosaur) and the Buick Verano. Both of them are rather luxurious cars that are basically out of my price range for how very depressing my checks are. The Verano is the cheaper option at $333 a month for 72 months. I already pay $364 a month for student loans. I don’t even make enough money in one month to pay for a new car AND student loans and it’s really depressing.

I’ve been searching for jobs in my field and applying for ones that sound relevant and interesting to me and I have the qualifications for, but VERY few of them have even gotten back to me at all with any kind of rejection notice. Which is probably even more depressing.

Like how the actual fuck and am I supposed to gain experience if no one will even give me a chance to show them what I’m capable of? I realize I’m one of millions of grads out there in this situation, which is even MORE depressing. It’s extremely frustrating and aggravating applying for jobs I know I won’t even get considered for for god knows what varying reasons.

I think I’m going to try my luck at self-starting again. At times I feel like I’m beating a dead horse with self-starting on Etsy, but whatever. It never hurts to try. Learn from mistakes, make new ones, learn from those. Vicious cycle. If you want it bad enough, don’t let anything stop you. Yup. SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS GUYS.

Positive attitudes. That’s what keeps the world going.

Surprise, Motherfucker!

Day 7. 

Today I am grateful that my dad continues to spoil me and puts gas in my car.

I have yet to put gas in my own car by myself in the approximately 5 years that I’ve been driving. I know what you’re thinking – what the fuck?

But listen, I recognize how privileged and spoiled I am. That’s a step in the right direction! Besides, I plan on never having to put gas in my car cause electric is totally the way to go. Come on now!

Bonus gratefulness of the day: OBAMA MOTHERFUCKING LLAMA.

Places.

Day 30!!: 10 places you want to visit

1. London. I’ve always been attracted to and fascinated by England. Of course this is on my list. There’s so much culture, so much history. So much to see!

2. Paris. I feel like Paris is that cliche destination everyone says they want to go to, but I genuinely want to go there. Like, honestly, who wouldn’t? So much culture, so much to see. And damn it, so romantic. I want to be kissed by the Eiffel Tower. Did you know Romanian engineer Gheorghe Pănculescu’s invention of joining metal girders was what inspired Gustave Eiffel’s design for the Eiffel tower? The more you know.

3. Venice. I want to visit all of Italy. But honestly, Venice is another one of those cliche destinations and I want to partake in that. It just looks so damn gorgeous. Like, I want to be rowed around in one of those gondolas and be sung to in Italian.

4. Amsterdam (again). In 2009 I was in Amsterdam for about 24 hours because my aunt and I missed our flight from Frankfurt to Detroit due to my uncle dragging us to his terminal, convinced that we were all leaving from the same terminal. (HE WAS WRONG.) From the very little I experienced of Amsterdam (hotel, cab driver, airport) I found the people to be kind and well-educated. And from the little I saw of the place, it looked nice. Lots of lavender.

5. Budapest (again). Also in 2009, when we arrived in Europe, we had a flight from Frankfurt to Budapest and spent about a day there. I have quite fond memories of the whole ordeal. While Romanians and Hungarians don’t really like each other (and they sure don’t mind showing it – my aunt-in-law of course got a parking ticket for no reason [truly!] other than having a Romanian license plate) I had a great time there. Possibly because I wasn’t accustomed to speaking Romanian yet, and they thought I was American. I really enjoyed all the sites I saw, and the food was phenomenal. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I LITERALLY had the BEST CUCUMBER SALAD OF MY ENTIRE LIFE in Budapest. As well as one of the best salads too.

6. Dublin. Like London and England as a whole, I’ve also always had a fascination with Dublin and Ireland. It doesn’t help that one time, I watched a Steve Ricks episode where he went to Dublin and I fell in love. Giant fun colored doors!? Sold.

7. Egypt; The Pyramids at Giza. Another cliche? Probably. But they’re such  absolutely majestic sculptures. Seen from miles around, larger than life objects. They continue to mystify people around the world in all their grandeur. Did you know the word “pyramid” has no human language origin? Plus, there is no fucking way men built that shit with their bare hands. No fucking way.

8. Australia. Except for the whole GIANT SPIDERS AND SHIT, I find Australia to be a really interesting place. Backwards seasons? Toilets flushing the opposite way? Not to mention those gorgeous accents and surfers all over the place. In. Love.

9. South America. I don’t really have a particular destination of where I’d like to go down there cause I’d really like to see all kinds of places in South America. I want to see the Nazca Lines in Peru, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. I want to see people dancing in the street in Argentina and I want to experience Venezuela. You know?

10. Romania. Having lived there, I miss the place. Despite my somewhat negative experience when I went back in 2009. (People are not okay with fatties over there, lemme tell you.) But I want to go to Romania to travel the whole place. I want to see Alba Iulia. I want to see the Carpathian mountains again and remember to take a picture this time instead of saving it in my head. I want to see the giant gates in Maramureș. I want to see the Casa Republicii, which is the world’s second largest administrative building after the Pentagon (and also a museum!). I want to visit Constanța on the Black Sea coast and I want to go to the Băile Herculane again and I want to see Dracula’s castle in person. Honestly, I’ve been thinking of doing a private tour of Romania instead of a graduation cruise next year.

Aerial view of my hometown, Resita.

Drivers Are Stupid.

I have always wanted to make a sort of “official” Things You Do That Make You A Douchebag While Driving list. Today will probably not be the day that that happens, however, I would like to complain about a few certain key points.

  1. Tailgating. I am more than positive that I’m not the only person that hates this. I cannot stand when people ride your ass, especially when you’re already driving above the speed limit. Like really Speedy Gonzalez, you’re gonna do that right now? Unless you’re birthing a baby out your vagina or you’re driving someone who is, you need to not be that douchebag.
  2. Lane-Hoppers. I hate you. You need to not swerve your ass in front of my car at high speeds and cut me off when there’s like the tiniest of spaces available. Like I’m pretty sure the only way you got into that space is because I had to brake to let your arrogant ass in.
  3. Slow Drivers. Listen, I know you’re technically allowed to drive under the speed limit by like 5 miles, [because you can totally get a ticket for driving too slow, I know people that have had that happen!] but I really don’t want to be driving at 40 mph when the posted speed limit gives me the capacity to accelerate to 45. Pay attention to signs damnit!
  4. Double left-turn lane assholes. Nearly every day, I take a particular road that requires I make a left turn lane at the end of it. This is no ordinary left turn lane though – oh no. It is a magical double left turn lane which means there’s two whole lanes turning at the same time. Now, this concept is fantastic because it allows people who need to merge onto I-75 to sit in the outer left turn lane, and people who plan on driving straight, to the inner lane. However, there are some haughty assholes out there who think that they’re smart. They like to sit in the inner lane because it generally has less cars, and then when they’re turning, decide to cut across 3 lanes of traffic so they can merge onto I-75 South when they should have been chillin’ in the outer lane. Listen here motherfuckers: you could fucking kill people like that. Stop doing it.
  5. U-Turn turds. I believe this is mainly a Michigan problem, since I’m told that we’re the only state that has legal U-turns. Like there’s a nice grassy median between opposing lanes and then you do this thing where you merge into this lane and then you swivel your car and you wait. Now, again, this is a fantastic idea – except when you’re again in the inner lane, and the asshole next to you in the outer lane has pulled their car up so far that you can’t see anything of oncoming traffic, which means that you have no idea whether you can go or not on a red light [or a non-light]. Fuck all ya’ll too. This one can in fact even be applied to just regular sitting and waiting for turns. There’s always that one asshole that blocks the view with their massive gas guzzling GMC truck.
And there’s a lot more where that came from.