Today’s post comes with this quote in mind, which I mentioned in an earlier post while I was watching season 2 of Borgia:

If you are plagued by externals, it is not they who trouble you, but the importance you give them. (Marcus Aurelius)

I believe in this phrase so immensely, I repeat it to myself constantly, so that I don’t forget it and that I heed it’s message as much as I can. There are aggravations in my life right now caused by people who are not on my good side, but you know what, it’s exactly how this quote says – it’s not really them who are bothering me, but rather the importance I’m giving them.

And so, I have been practicing not giving a fuck anymore about what people say about me or to me if it is destructive or negative because it doesn’t matter. Let them have their opinions. Let them seethe in their negativity. I will not add fuel to their fire. I am nobody’s whipping girl.

Mark Ryder is Insatiably Sexy


Like for real you guys, omfg. Last night I watched 2 episodes in row because I couldn’t contain my excitement and tonight I watched another because I decided a two hour movie = less time for sleep, but a 1 hour episode of Borgia would make no one upset.

The scene at the end of the Pentecost episode though, omg. Dying. I’m dying you guys.

I think I need to read up more on real life Cesare and Lucrezia to find out if they actually fucked or what. I JUST WANT THEM TO BE TOGETHER, THERE IS SO MUCH SEX HAPPENING. (Not literally, BUT IT NEEDS TO OMG).


In other news, my birthday is on Wednesday and the weather forecast says it’s going to be really shitty and rainy that day. I kinda want to go to the zoo, but not if it’s going to downpour of me all day. I’ll probably stay cooped up in the house watching movies/trying to pace myself on Borgia and eating birthday cake in my birthday girl underwear. TRUE STORY.


Borgia Obsession

Let me tell you all how challenging it is to pace myself and watch only one episode of season 2 of Borgia at a time.

I just finished the first episode, and I’m going to practice self-control and not watch another episode. It was a great season starter, and I fall more deeply in love with Cesare as the episodes go by.

Last night I watched a behind the scenes thing for season 2 with Mark Ryder (Cesare) as the interviewee and one of the things he talked about was that in preparation for season 2, he hit up the gym – a lot. WELL LET ME TELL YOU ALL, THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT.

Not only does he have the whole sexy bearded man with flowing long hair thing going on, but those enhanced muscles only aid in making him look extraordinarily sexy. I mean, I literally might pee my pants staring at this man. Omg.

I have lost my underwear.

Anyway, during one of the scenes, Cesare is reading a book by Marcus Aurelius, in which he reads aloud “If you are plagued by externals, it is not they who trouble you, but the importance you give them.”

I found this to be exceptionally poignant and utterly true. If you’re being bothered by outside forces/people that you cannot control, it is not those forces or those people who are truly troublesome to your well-being, but rather the acknowledgment and the value which you allow them to have in your life.

For example, I work with my ungrateful cousin who purposely takes longer routes around the store to avoid the jewelry counter when I’m there. Her presence is bothersome to me. Today as I saw her pass by, I realized that I did not feel the general hatred I usually do when I look her way, and further realized that she is really rather insignificant in my life and does not deserve any amount of emotion from me.

It is a challenge to finally realize this and to implement it, but goddamnit, it’s among the most freeing feelings in the world.

Mark Ryder is a Panty Dropper

First let me say that I did not end up doing anything I wanted to do these past 4 days I’ve had off. They’ve been half miserable due to pain, and half self-loathing at my eating habits. However, my hormones are whacky at the moment, so I forgive myself a bit there.

Today I was supposed to go to the zoo with Alyza, but she couldn’t make it. Instead, I spent about 3 or 4 hours in the sun, swimming, reading, more swimming. ¬†After showering, I watched a few episodes of Blue Mountain State with my brother, then the movie Immortals, which I ogled the likes of Henry Cavill again, and tried to devise some kind of plan where I could somehow meet him in real life. (I hope one day I’ll be significant enough to actually meet him.)

Afterwards, I decided it was time to indulge in Borgia. I watched the last two episodes of season 1 and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, CESARE IS SO FUCKING HOT.

*breathes deeply*

When I first started watching this series, I remember thinking Mark Ryder (Cesare) definitely looked he belonged in the 15th century with this chiseled, sharply angled face and mildly flowing hair. As the episodes went on, I started to realize he was actually attractive to me in that nerdy way, unlike his on screen brother Juan, played by Stanley Weber, who I find attractive in the conventional sense. (He also looks a bit like Henry Cavill.)

He resembles Henry’s Charles Brandon when he’s dressed as Juan.

In the last episode of the season, I was hardcore rooting for Cesare and Lucrezia. I really don’t care that they’re brother and sister, they ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER AND I WAS REALLY DISAPPOINTED THAT THEY DIDN’T END UP BANGING CAUSE OF STUPID PEDRO LUIS.

I know from stalking the Tumblr tags that Cesare and Lucrezia do end up having a romance and whatnot, so I’m happy to know that that scene wasn’t just a tease. BUT I’M LIKE 100 KINDS OF EXCITED TO START SEASON 2 AND SEE THIS SHIT FOR MYSELF.


And also, I want to drool over Mark Ryder endlessly. I found his Twitter and tweeted my burning love for his face. I kinda hope he responds. Maybe we’ll even be Twitter friends. #YOLO #iwillmeethimsomedaytoo #brblostmyunderwear