More Hoodies Orrrrr???

Christmas and New Year’s has gone and past and we’re already going into the third day of the year. What the actual fuck? Time is flying and I can’t grasp it any longer.

The year may have just started out, but I’m already fully engrossed in it and the winding road it appears to have started taking.

I finished off my root canal procedure today so I’m hyped up on painkillers and penicillin. I showered and decided to not style my hair and just let it be curly, so it’s absolutely fucking insane poofy. Like, hello 1986, come and get your crazy hair back, thanks.

I’m whirlwinding down a “lovelife” road that I’m not sure about. I don’t know if I want to go down this road or not and I feel like I’m standing at a fork and I’m not sure which road I’ll regret not taking more. It’s a hard decision and I’m trying to make it as best as I can. But I also realize that it’s okay to make mistake and it’s okay to say no whenever I want to. Idk. Life is hard. It shouldn’t be this complicated, but it is. Because we make it this complicated.

Also, I’ve had the same American Eagle webpage open for like 36 hours trying to decide whether I want to purchase these hoodies or not. THE STRUGGLE IS SO REAL RIGHT NOW. Like do I really need more hoodies or am I just being greedy? Uuuuuughhhh.

After Christmas Shopping

Day 26: Grateful

Today I’m grateful that despite it taking me over an hour to get home from Somerset, I made it through a snowstorm with my mom’s shitty windshield and windwipers helping absolutely 0% with visibility.

Literally what I was seeing even when the wipers going.

On the bright side though, I did snatch some decent deals at the mall today.

I bought:

– a cocktail dress from American Eagle
– a ceramic bowl, glass teacup, and sky blue eurosham from Anthropologie
– 3 diamond shaped ornaments and Belgian Linen hand cream from Restoration Hardware
– 3 sherpa fleece sheep ornaments, lemon lotion, 5 mini hand santizers, 1 mini sanitizer holder from Bath & Body Works
– 2 workout tanktops from Gap

I also asked at Anthro about internships and they gave me an application to fill out.  Hopefully this road winds the right way. FINGERS CROSSED!

The Exhilarating Feeling of Fitting Into American Eagle Jeans

I have a love/hate relationship with American Eagle. I’ve only ever bought anything from AE three times in the last decade, and one of those times was a present for a friend. In middle school and high school, AE allured me simply because the “popular” kids wore it. All the fucking time. I’m not saying I wanted to be one of them though – on the contrary, I took measures to make sure I wasn’t like them, clothing choices included.

Yet, AE still has this allure of like, being “cool” or something. Admittedly, it’s kind of douchebaggy – but not as douchebaggy as Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch. Anyway, it’s been a long and silly dream of mine to one day be able to fit my ass into a pair of AE jeans. In high school, I remember walking down the halls getting to classes or my locker and staring at everyone’s butts, ticking off in my head who was wearing what brand of jeans by the butt pocket design. I was that skilled, yes, thank you. AE and Hollister, once it became more popular, were among the top along with Levi’s.

Today, after much mental battle and self-coercion, I went to Lakeside Mall after not going there for about 3 years, and American Eagle was one of my last stops. I somehow ended up at their website last night and saw that they were having a nice clearance sale, so I wanted to stop in and see what they had in person and try shit on. I quite luckily found some 16 and 18 jeans in their clearance and tried them on. The first pair I tried on were 16 and THEY FIT ME LIKE A GODDAMN GLOVE. I literally jumped up and down in the fitting room because I was so excited and did a little “FUCK YEAH YOU’RE COMING HOME WITH ME” dance.

I also got that tank and hoodie today, at PacSun. Clearance!

I’m still excited about them. They’re 16s! I can’t wait to fit into 14s. Progress!
I also somehow felt less judged in American Eagle than I did in PacSun at Lakeside. WEIRD.