Orange is the New Black

So I started watching Orange is the New Black (Netflix original) last night and it’s actually quite good. It’s a drama about a lady who turns herself in for a crime and goes to a female prison for 15 months, then has to navigate herself through the facility’s setup with the other inmates.

I really like the setup of the show in terms of how they play out the storyline with flashbacks. You get snippets of each main character’s life and how they ended up in prison. I also enjoy all the lesbianism throughout the show. The warden (I think) keeps telling Piper (the main character) that she does not have to engage in lesbian sexual activities, but little does he know that she was (or rather still is, despite being engaged to a guy played by Jason Biggs) a lesbian.

In the first episode, we get our first taste of lesbianism in prison via one of the other main characters, Nicky played by Natasha Lyonne, eating out another inmate in the showers while Piper walks by. I personally found that scene to be half assed. If it were really happening, her face would’ve been buried more significantly between that girl’s legs.

I also enjoyed in the second episode when she was making the lotion for Red’s back (Kate Mulgrew) and chewing up the jalapenos. It mostly enticed me because the crunching sound was pleasant.

Plus, Laura Prepon (famously known as Donna in That 70s Show) plays her ex lesbian girlfriend who is also in the same prison.

My Dad’s Reaction to My Piercing is That of a 5 Year Old’s

So as I mentioned last night, I played the “let’s see how long it takes for my family to notice my nose piercing” game.

As it turns out, not too long, but amusingly long enough.

I was sitting down eating my lunch after the gym, my dad was changing the trash, and mid sentence he goes “WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR NOSE?” and I don’t think I got to say anything really, and he said “IS THAT A HOLE? IS THAT A HOLE IN YOUR NOSE? DID YOU PUT A HOLE IN YOU NOSE?” as if asking the same question 3 times made it not real.

I told him yes, to which he kinda got pissed, walked away to change the trash in the bathroom, and came back and said “Do you think you look prettier with that thing in your nose?” and I just stared at him, chewing, and then looked back down at my food. Then he said I have dubious friends, and walked away with the trash.

Since then, he has been giving me the silent treatment/pretending I’m not alive. It’s actually genuinely amusing because like…seriously? I’m pretty grateful that he wasn’t more pissed and demanded I take it out or something ridiculous.

I’m so glad that my first tattoo will not be visible for him to shit bricks over. Cause I’m pretty sure he’d go insane. I mean, you know, god forbid I put a hole through my body – imagine what his 20th century ideals are like about INK UNDER MY SKIN. =O

But listen, at the end of the day, it is my body. It is my choice. It is my money. And I am not forcing anyone else to go through the pain. Don’t like it? Don’t care. I literally don’t give a fuck what you think about what I do to myself. It’s 2013. Get over it. Get over yourself. It is not that serious, honey.

P.S. My mom seems rather unphased by it. While my dad was freaking out asking me if I actually have a hole through my nose, her reaction was at first this face: O_O and then “is that like a little stone in there?” +1000 points for her chill attitude, mega appreciated.

So Today I Got My Nose Pierced

Today started out relatively uneventful. Alyza and I went to downtown Ferndale, and after exiting the Rust Belt, she clapped her hands, got really excited, and screamed “DO YOU WANNA GET YOUR NOSE PIERCED!?” To which I took a minute to reply “sure” to.

After trying a few different shops down there (one didn’t do piercings, the other was closed on Sundays) we found a shop on Woodward that was open, did piercings, and did them with studs (I’m not allowed to wear hoops in my nose at work).

SOOOOO, I did what I’ve been wanting to do since I was 12, but was too scared to do on my own for over ten years: I voluntarily offered myself to get a hollow needle stuck through my nose and carved out a hole.

It was kinda painful at first, especially the few seconds right after the needle went through. The girl had me close my eyes, but I opened them when the needle was still in and there was a burning sensation happening, so I saw it sticking out of my nose as she still had my nostril clamped out. It was kind of uncomfortable for a little bit and I remember thinking WHEN IS SHE GOING TO PUT THE STUD IN!?

But then she finally did and I was like holy shit I actually have my nose pierced! It’s been mildly hurting on and off all day, as expected. I never realized how much I flare my nostrils, though, until today. Every time I do it, I send a small jolt of pain to the piercing and I’m like oh! Okay!

All in all, it wasn’t a bad experience. I wasn’t freaking out like I used to freak out when I thought of getting things like this done, which only means that in about 2 weeks, when I might possibly be getting my first tattoo(s), I will hopefully also be as semi calm as I was today.

Now I’m just playing the waiting game to see who in my family will notice first that there is something different about me, and how long will it take each of them to notice. I deliberately didn’t post the above picture on Facebook, because I decided it might be better for them to see it in person, rather than find out via social networking about my recent body mod.

But really, I’m 22. It’s my body. I can legally do whatever I want.

I AM A FUCKING MERMAID

I couldn’t handle it anymore. I did it. I made myself a mermaid tail.

I took pictures and videos and omg it’s fantastic. I layed around in my pool mostly just flapping my tail and watching the clouds go by at 75mph (thunderstorms were coming in) for an hour.

I need to add some reinforcement to the fluke because it flops around a lot and it’s cumbersome to actually swim like a mermaid with only heavy interfacing acting as the fluke. Possibly some boning or sheets of plastic would work. OR, I could order a monofin. We’ll see.

I Should’ve Been a Mermaid

I’ve always been fascinated with mermaids. For as long as I can remember. When I was young, I used to draw them all. the. time. I even drew a lineart tattoo design in high school once.

Last year I somehow discovered that there were people out there making working mermaid tails. Actually I think it was an article on AOL about a mom who made ones out of spandex, and I got sucked into the vortex and found there were more mermaid tail artists, including the most famous, The Mertailor, a guy by the name of Eric who specializes in professional grade silicone mermaid tails.

Ever since this discovery, I have been more obsessed with mermaids than ever before. I’ve taught myself to hold my breath longer, to swim better with my legs together, and to dolphin kick better.

I’ve finally decided the time has come for me to make my own mermaid tail. I have a buttload of coupons from Joann’s and I’m about go to do some damage on swimswear spandex.

One day though, one day I will have enough money to splurge and get myself a custom silicone tail. Or 10.

10 Lessons I Learned at My 22nd Birthday Bash

1. You know how you’re not supposed to mix beer and liquor? Yeah, there’s a reason for that.

2. Stop drinking at least 2 drinks before you feel really drunk. Does that make sense?

3. Don’t take consecutive shots.

4. Take your time drinking the alcohols.

5. Maybe aim for a garbage can instead of the border of the sidewalk when you finally vomit. No cops will come up to you and your friend and say “I can’t have her doing that there.”

6. Maybe try NOT to hug the stranger that looks like Jesus who just gave you a full bottle of water. He doesn’t really want to touch your vomity ass.

7. Never drink that much again.

8. You will suffer a 24 hour hangover and it will be extremely unpleasant and you will have to go in to work feeling like death.

9. No matter how many times you puke, and you think it’s the end, it’s not.

10. The entire bar will cheer for you when you puke on the sidewalk, though. +10 humor points for you.