Retail Taints My Mood

Wow, I didn’t realize I hadn’t updated here in ~5 days. What is that?

So I went to see Juanes in concert on Friday night with my mom. It was a lot of fun. Before the music started, my mom disparted and got herself drinks and then by the end of the concert, I had found she had squeezed her way back into the pit, a few bodies away from me.

I had my camera with me, so I got some pretty good shots, especially since I was 4th and 3rd row from the stage most of the night. By the end of it, I was in 2nd row, almost in first, but people wouldn’t budge enough for me to get closer. It was okay though. because with my lens I was able to get up closer.

This was taken with my phone, not my camera.

The concert itself was fantastic. It was all in Spanish and the theater was filled with hispanics from around the Metro Detroit Area as well as quite a handful of white people like myself, who appreciate latin music. I personally greatly enjoyed the encore performance, as that was when he sang songs I knew the words to.

All that aside, today when I went in work, I looked over my schedule for the upcoming days that I work and realized that the next 5 I’m scheduled, I close every single time. I was half joking when I said it’s time to look for a new job cause the music playlist in my store is the shittiest you’ll ever hear, but now I’m legitimately serious. I’m fucking sick and tired of working in retail. I’m sick of customers, I’m sick of shitty pay, I’m sick of getting home at 10 PM.

Although I will say the one nice thing about working part time is that I do get days off, and oh god, they are glorious.

It’s time.

If any of you know of any fashion design related jobs, holla at yo girl. But seriously.

Travels & Ultrasounds

Today has been an interesting day.

My medical adventures included a root canal – which honestly wasn’t that bad. I felt some pain, but my dentist “topped me off” with anesthetics. It was really the whole having my mouth open for about an hour that was the worst. By the time she was cleaning out the nerve, I was like OMG CAN THIS BE OVER WITH ALREADY, MY JAW FUCKING HURTS.

I had to pick up antibiotics and pain pills after, and while I was waiting, I FINALLY found the kind of hair clips I’ve been searching EVERYWHERE for. I was super excited. I also went to Barnes and Noble and found some really great books that I did not buy because pssh, Amazon.

Then I went in to get an ultrasound. It was a relatively amusing experience. My ultrasound tech definitely had a sense of humor – she printed out screenshots of the ultrasound and circled my uterus, captioned it “my uterus” and also captioned my bladder as “my very full bladder” and then stuck them in a “baby’s first picture” envelope. I totally have that shit on my fridge. No, I’m not pregnant, btw.

After all my wonderful medical adventures today, I hit up DTRO with Kristen and we had a LET’S GORGE OURSELVES ON DELICIOUS FOOD evening. And also discussed me flying in to Boston at the end of her teaching gig there in August, and then spending a week exploring the eastern seaboard. I said yes.

The best veggie enchiladas I’ve ever had. I couldn’t finish them, too much food baby.

Now I just have to tell my boss HEY, I’m actually gonna be gone for TWO weeks back to back in August! Sorry! And also gotta see whether I’ll be getting surgery. Hoping I don’t, fingers crossed.

I’m pretty excited about my 3 day weekend this week. My upcoming schedules are pretty fucking glorious. I have like 4 days off in a row one of these weeks. I’m planning on traveling somewhere then. I don’t care if it’s just to like Frankenmuth or something. I’M GOING SOMEWHERE DAMNIT, and it will not be just DTRO or Ferndale.

I Graduated, Y’all

Today was the day: the culmination of 3 and a half years of schooling summarized in a ~30 second walk across a stage. I got a considerable amount of loud cheers actually, it felt really good.

There were several highlights to the day.

Prior to the ceremony, all the programs took group pictures together. Alyza and I were in the front row of ours for like a minute before our group photo was taken. The photographer lady was having all of us crouch down so the people behind us could be seen. Apparently the pirate stances Alyza and I were doing were inappropriate because she got really irritated, waved her pointer finger at us and said “no no, I can’t have this – you, come to the front – you two, to the back” and so we were KICKED OUT OF THE FRONT ROW and sent to the back for our group photo. It was actually pretty hilarious.

HNI was of course there (hiii) and upon first seeing him, I WAS ACTUALLY ALLOWED A HUG. (And several more throughout the day – it was rather fantastic, actually, and I should’ve hugged tighter, damnit.) And then he whipped out a recipe for pesto and gave it to me and I was really confused at first, but apparently I asked for it a really long time ago. And in retrospect, I regard this as one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever given me, because it came as a complete surprise and it’s handwritten and awwwwwww. There are other things I’d like to say about this, but I’m too sober, so I’ll keep them to myself. And the last thing I’ll gush about in this section is that I got a picture with him and it’s fabulous.

Lastly, I again didn’t take as many pictures with people or in general of graduation, just like my high school ceremony, and it upsets me. But I know I’m on other’s people’s cameras, so that’s a consoling thing to know. However, of the pictures I did get, I have an absolute favorite and I keep looking at it because it’s ten kinds of glorious.

I mean, really. We had to.

Why 8 AM?

Tomorrow, I “officially” graduate college.

Frankly, I’m still pissed I have to get up at 6 AM in the morning so I can be there at 8. 8!? 8 IN THE MORNING? I DON’T EVEN WAKE UP THAT EARLY FOR WORK. Seriously. I’ve been complaining about this for months, and now that the time is finally here, I’m STILL annoyed about it. Idk where I’ll actually head to bed but I’ll be getting somewhere around 6 hours of sleep tonight. Which is NOT enough for me to function at my optimal proficiency.

On the bright side though, I did buy special heels for tomorrow’s ceremony. I had seen them earlier in the week at Nordstrom Rack and the color really stood out to me – they’re like an extremely light robin’s egg blue. They remind me of my mom’s shoes that she wore when she went to get her marriage license. I’m pretty excited to wear them.

I also really hope they’ll feed us at least some kind of snacks while we’re there rehearsing because it’s a whole 3 hours of being there before all our relatives arrive. I’m surprisingly not really scared about driving to the venue though. It’s a straight shot on a freeway, basically. (YAY for conquering fears!!)

One thing I am annoyed about, besides the whole waking up at 6 thing, is that the dress I’m wearing tomorrow shrunk when I washed it (I air dried it outside) and because it shrunk, the zipper does this weird thing where it pulls the fabric in the back up and it looks really weird like I have some kind of awful wedgie or something. But I’m still going to wear it because I’d planned for weeks that it was going to be my graduation dress.

And with that, I think I’ll turn in and read some Hunger Games before bed.

After Earth: Fear is Not Real

Tonight I went and saw After Earth with my mom. It was a pretty good movie, and on a scale of movies that I’ve seen recently, it was better than Iron Man 3 but not as good at Star Trek: Into Darkness.

Anyway, there was a part where Will Smith’s character, Cypher, is telling his son Kitai (real life son Jaden Smith) about the first time he ghosted. I honestly dipped out of that part of the movie mentally and didn’t hear parts of it, HOWEVER, I did hear the most poignant line of the whole movie, which is also shortened into the tagline of this movie.

Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.

This really stood out to me as something that is not only true, but something that I need to incorporate in my life more. Throughout the whole movie, I was obsessing in the back of my mind about my molar that is aching and probably needs a root canal. I don’t really want to admit that it needs one, and it has greatly to do with fear. I do not like pain (who does?) but I can bear it if I have to. I haven’t yet come across pain that I haven’t been able to get over. It’s all carnal. It passes, as we do in these bodies.

But anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I respect and admire this line. There’s more to it, as it’s a whole monologue, but the section about “it is a product of thoughts you create” cannot be any more true. Cypher talks about fear as an emotion that is created by the unknown. It’s a useless emotion. It’s like worrying – it’ll give you something to do, but it won’t get you any where.

As I continue my journey of conquering fears this year, I also continue on the journey of eliminating fear from my life. It is not an easy task. It never has been, it never will be. But as fear is a choice that we make, so is strength, so is courage. It’s the ability to choose what will give you the benefit that makes the difference.