So, Sunday’s are my weigh ins for Weight Watchers and I forgot to do it this morning. Smart ass me also forgot to do it right after I got home from the gym, but remembered right before I got in the shower, post eating.

The scale told me a horrifying number and it’s been nagging me for the past 8 hours. I can’t figure out if the weight I’ve gained is muscle or fat.

On the one hand, I’ve been indulging in foods I shouldn’t, and I haven’t been utilitizing the Weight Watchers trackers like I should be. Which only makes me mentally slap myself and ask THEN WHY AM I PAYING FOR IT!?

On the other hand, I can lift heavier and resist more weight. I also tried on the dress I wore on St. Patrick’s day after freaking out about the weight gain and it seems to fit a tad better than it did a month ago. My American Eagle jeans also fit fine. And my friend who hadn’t seen me since Christmas was literally taken aback when he saw me last week.

MY MOTHER, on the other hand, who is never any help when I ask her anything to do with fitness/health, told me she thinks my stomach area looks bigger. I don’t even know why I ask her anything when it comes to this stuff. She always comes off sounding like a bitch and never helps my self esteem. Not that I expect her to coddle me.

Anyway, I think it’s time to stop fucking around and really retrain myself – not only physically, but psychologically.

I know muscle weighs more than fat. But it is extremely disheartening stepping on the scale and seeing a plateau or WEIGHT GAIN. Ugh.


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