Sometimes I find it ridiculous just how easily my moods can change. Or perhaps more importantly, how powerful thoughts are. Because assumptions are often (with me) negative thoughts that consume my mind and ultimately become these fallacies that I somehow talked myself into finding true, even though they’re more often than not far from the truth.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I find it sickening how easily I can make my mood swing simply by the thoughts I choose to think. I’ve often found that the thoughts I’ve chosen to think manifest themselves into the energy I put out and the energy I get back due to that.
Which only furthers my desire to constantly be in a positive state of mind. I fully realize and accept that negative thoughts and negativity in general is not conducive to anything – I tell people this all. the. time. It is hard advice to follow, however, and I understand that. This shit truly is a circle. Truly.
But I also understand that sometimes it is crucial to ride the way of negativity. Just not for too long. You gotta know when you have to hop off the surf board, or you’ll drown.
1. So I don’t get questioned as to why I’m coming home at 11 PM on a Monday night.
2. So I can have whoever I want over at whatever time I want without having to sneak.
3. So I can do whatever the fuck I want without having to worry about whether it’s disturbing anyone.
Can this term be over with already? I am so ready to just not think about assignments anymore. All I want to do is lay around, contemplate life, take a bath or two, and go to the gym every day.
I want to get back to doing traditional art. I haven’t painted in so long. I haven’t sketched in forever.
And I can’t wait for summer. While I love having my hair look all pretty and straight or wavy, the joys of letting it do its thing cause it’s hot outside are truly wonderful. Plus, this summer I’m gonna look better than ever with this bangin’ new body. Which reminds me for the hundredth time this weekend that I need to find new bottoms for my bikinis because my ass is too small for the ones I currently have.
Also, if anyone else watched the Downton Abbey season finale tonight, I’d like to formally extend a WHAT THE FUCK because like, WHAT THE FUCK!?!
So Alyza gifted me with Macklemore’s album, The Heist, a few weeks ago and I finally listened to it tonight while I was doing my laundry. It’s actually a pretty good album. I wasn’t expecting as many “political” songs, but rather more raunchy shit. I was surprised, but in the best possible way.
And it reminded me of just how much I love “political” music. I think I might be getting Billy Talent’s Devil In A Midnight Mass lyrics “Put my trust in God that day; Not the man that taught his way” tattooed soon. Actually I’m listening to that right now and yeah, I will be getting that on my body sometime in the future for sure.
There are two poetic philsophies that define my views on life. That is one of them. The other is from Mihai Eminescu’s epic poem, Luceafarul, and translated, it reads “For all are born to die, and die to be reborn.” Another planned tattoo. Except it will be in Romanian.
Oh. My. God.
That’s basically all I can say and smile really big and be ultra happy because holy shit this is HAPPENING. And I scream-cried in my car on the ride home because WHAT IS MY LIFE.
I can barely handle this.