Gappy Crotch Legs

While perusing AOL articles earlier, I came upon this one, entitled Victoria’s Secret Photoshop Fails Carves Out Model’s Inner Thighs and had to go check it out. I’m a huge fan of “I Spy Photoshop” in professional photos, and especially in magazine ads and related media. (HNI taught me the ways.) Victoria’s Secret is probably one of the biggest and best culprits, as they do it constantly. Sometimes if I’m bored enough, I’ll purposely go on their website not to shop (surprise!) but to find the obvious Photoshopping.

Anyway, this particular article stuck out to me because of the thigh gappage. One of my favorite things to look for is untouching thighs. I don’t know when the last time was that you all looked at normal, average people, but let me tell you a secret: THE AVERAGE PERSON’S THIGHS TOUCH!

*GASP*

I know. It’s a fucking shocker, but it’s true. I’m not saying there aren’t people out there with thighs that don’t touch, because I know there are. I have seen them with my own eyes, and I have friends who are fortunately skinny enough to not understand the terrible things that come along with chub rub – including and not limited to the burning from hell when walking around Chicago for 12 hours in 95 degree weather and your thighs are touching the entire time, as well as pant/jean decay ONLY IN THAT SPOT.

Unless you’re sickly, no one’s leg looks like that. Especially not if you’re like 6 feet tall.

However, these nontouching thigh people are few and far between. The media, and especially stores like Victoria’s Secret and the like, seem to relish in the idea that women’s thighs should not touch. While I admit that I look at these photos and think to myself “DAMN I WISH MY LEGS DIDN’T RUB AGAINST EACH OTHER” I’m also smart enough to know that that shit ain’t real and unless I become anorexic (because for my height, I’d have to be anorexic for my legs not to touch) I will never have these wonderfully Photoshopped gappy crotch legs.

Isn’t it funny how she has REAL PEOPLE SIZED THIGHS on the left, but although she is standing just a little bit apart on the right, her thighs suddenly shrink 25% and she’s got the biggest crotch gap you’ve ever seen?

And if I analyze this further, obviously what they’re trying to tell us all is that beauty = unnatural crotch gappage. They are subtlety (for the most part) ingraining in our minds that that should be normal. That the eye of the beholder must view thigh gappage as beautiful.

Has it worked? I think the answer is probably yes, for the most part. They sure got me thinking I wish I had some thigh gappage. But then again, I don’t want to look like a weird bowlegged creature that aught to be fried in a pan and slathered in garlic sauce. Ya know?

This bitch has like, frog legs. I want to fry her legs up in a pan Chinese style.

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