Dear Maria, Count Me In

My dearest, most darling Maria,

We have been best friends for about 12 or 13 years now. That is a very long time for people our age to have stayed friends. We have sailed the high and low waters together and somehow still find interesting things to talk about. You always tell me you noticed me in 3rd grade the first time when you looked at my shoes and you said we had on the same pair. I never remember this. I always remember becoming your friend in 3rd grade when Mrs. Meadows sat us next to each other and we would bitch together about how much she talked. I used to call her a “yakking yak“, remember? For some reason we found that the funniest shit in the world. It’s not that funny anymore.

And then I moved away the next year. How cruel it was. But ultimately, I think it’s what helped our friendship survive for so long. I’ve always thought that if we had continued to go to the same school, something stupid would’ve torn us apart – like a boy or some petty fight about god knows what. But living in different cities was great. We got to see each other on the weekends (years and years of awesome sleepovers!) and never had to worry about school drama.

And then time went on and you got your first “real” boyfriend and everything suddenly blew up. Suddenly you were telling me of domestic abuse from your mother, of how she was going absolutely bonkers knowing you were dating. This was in what, 2006? You came to my birthday and you spilled your heart out that night. And that was the last time we saw each other in the flesh until this past August. I didn’t see or hear from you after that until your mom called me asking if you were at my house 2 months later. She was in a panic and started to semi-accuse me of harboring a fugitive. Later I found out you were just at his house. But then, it was a scary moment. I remember my mom getting flustered because she had talked to your mom and then she was pissed at me for getting myself involved in that whole mess. I remember she almost “grounded” me (LOL, LIKE SUCH A THING EXISTS IN MY HOUSEHOULD) from Homecoming that year and other goodies, but then she didn’t.

And then, the worst part happened. I was at band camp. It was lunch time and I was just about to listen to the only 2 songs on my LG Chocolate: I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco and Freaky Girl by Shaggy. Instead, when I slid my phone open (because slider phones were all the rage and I had the OG, as I usually always get top notch shit) I saw I had a missed called and a message from you. I listened to the message. You told me your oldest sister had come to Michigan, you packed up some of your stuff and you left and moved to Pennsylvania with her. Just like that. I couldn’t believe it. I remember starting to first freak out, and then I cried. Repeat.

I don’t remember when this particular part happened since it was during the day and it couldn’t have been during band camp, but it must have been around the time I got that message: I remember bursting into tears in front of my parents and they were confused as to why and I remember screaming at them at them that I missed my best friend and it wasn’t fair that you left and that only god knew when we’d see each other again. What if we’d never see each other again!? What if this was it!? And I remember them trying to console me. They were both bewildered and amused, and I remember they were both trying to cheer me up, saying that a friendship like ours would survive a 2 state distance. They ended up being right.

While I still slightly resent the fact that the first year or year and a half over in PA, you didn’t talk to me because you chose your boyfriend over me when your sister gave you a choice, I get it. You were “in love”. I completely understand what that does to a person, believe me. But I got literally NO CONTACT from you and I was devastated and confused and incredibly sad. My best friend had disappeared off the face of this planet and I had no more “sufficient” friends. And then suddenly you found me on Facebook when it was coexisting with Myspace as places to be on the internet. I don’t really remember how the rest of that story goes, but I remember being pissed at you (though I’m pretty sure I never told you that) for choosing him over me. However, I got over it. After all, a friendship like ours doesn’t last this long with BOYS and drama getting in the way.

And so, with all back history, let me just say that I am such a privileged girl to have such a wonderful best friend as you. We’ve been through all that shit together. We made it through. And we’ll continue to make it through. My dear Maria, you are truly the sister I never got to have. One day, when I will apparently get married, you will be my maid of honor and I will be overjoyed with knowing that you deserve it in every way. Because you, my darling, deserve every happiness this life has to offer. You of all people deserve every ounce of peace, love, and prosperity. And I want to forever be by your side, exploring these avenues of life together and continuing to have a beautiful, long, and amazing friendship with you.

Cause I got your picture, I’m comin’ with youuuu, dear Maria, count me iiiiin….

Forever and for always,
Viviana.

P.S. I LOVE YOU. How could I have forgotten to mention that up there? Sweet jesus. I love you with all my heart my beautiful, wonderful best friend!

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