Sometimes you come across little gems throughout your life that glow into bright spots. Sometimes they’re big deals, sometimes they only matter to you. Today I discovered Netflix FINALLY added Dawson’s Creek to their instant play selection! I was so excited, I watched 3 episodes and found them to be equally as cheesy and promising at Felicity was in the beginning. Must be that 1998 flair.

I also decided to buy this dress from Target after coveting it for a while now. I had mild buyer’s regret for about a minute there, but you can never have enough dresses and I still believe in the idea that money always comes. Plus, it’s nearly the same design as the super awesome Calypso St. Barth collection dress I got last year from Target for $5 because someone returned it after buying it online – so it fits wonderfully and flaunts and hides all the right things. I would love to work for them…

I also spent a good chunk of time today focusing on making roses for mine and Alyza’s fashion show designs. I got them all singed, sewn and ready to go. My eyeballs hurt a little bit after staring at candlelight for so long.

That’s all I got tonight. It’s hot in my room.

Drunk Sex FEELING.

I woke up this morning thinking I had slept until 3 PM, only to find out it was about 7 in the morning and my brother had made too much noise getting ready for school. And then I passed out for two more hours, upon which I literally bolted out of bed, far too excited to go to Meijer and pick up groceries.

I decided to go and check out the Salvation Army a few roads down from Meijer afterwards. On my way there, I witnessed a van-bicycle accident in which someone in a van had hit an old man who had been riding his bicycle (I didn’t see it happen, just the aftermath) and there were lots of people gawking and someone was telling the man not to move as they were holding his head in position (I got close enough with my car to see his face and all) because he had a head injury. After I passed the scene I started hyperventilating and crying and mentally praying for the guy, all the way to the Salvation Army parking lot.

When I got to Salvation Army, which is in a church, I was confused as to where the entrance was. There were probably like 8 different doors. I met this slightly older than middle aged lady who told me to go through a specific door and asked if I was looking for counseling or anything like that, and I said no, I was just curious about the place, I hadn’t been there before. She mentioned there were all kinds of services and a chapel and social workers and someone would be able to help me when I got inside and show me around. I ended up turning back and she caught me and asked if I was just too shy to go in and I WAS THE WORLD LIAR IN THE WORLD and said no, I had somewhere else to be. I mean literally, that was the best lie I could come up with. If you’re wondering why I lied it’s because I was under the impression that this Salvation Army was a thrift store, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE IT WASN’T A THRIFT STORE AT ALL so I left in shame.

I also went for the first swim of the summer today! It was quite pleasant. And I got my hair cut. One of my favorite things about hair cuts are not only the fact that your hair is getting “fixed” but the end result after styling always looks fabulous. I look like a damn movie star right now. My hair is all wavy and bouncy and light. I wish I had a personal hair stylist who could do my hair for me every day. That’d be the life.

Lastly, I just want to brood some more on my continuous lack of any “legitimately” reciprocated love interests. Sometimes I get so impatient and I just want to scream at the universe WHEN IS IT MY TURN!? It’s never been my turn. Sigh. Where are you Charming?

P.S. Remember when I asked WTF is “drunk sex spinning“? Turns out the site I got those lyrics from for Rita Ora’s How We Do was WRONG and I was right. She’s saying “drunk sex feelingWHICH MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE.I get that drunk sex feelin’ yeah when I’m with you; so put your arms around me baby” Um, yes please.

How Love/Lust Goggles Work

You know how sometimes you sit there knowing what you want to say but not entirely sure whether or not you should say it? It’s not even necessarily something important or controversial or anything like that, but rather just passing (or not so passing) thoughts you feel you want to share with people and at the same time don’t. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past hour or so. Surfing the internet, avoiding writing a post for these reasons:
1. I wasn’t exactly sure what to write about. Sometimes the topic well dries up.
2. I was hoping for a stroke of brilliance. Not sure this is it, but at least I’m writing something?

Also, do you ever notice when you’re in love/lust with someone you kinda get your head stuck in a bubble…or rather you have perma-love/lust goggles on? I always found that fascinating throughout my life. It’s kind of like, no matter what the person who you’re love/lusting for does or says, etc., you think it’s the greatest shit in the world. Now, that’s a little exaggerated, but it’s the basic idea I’m trying to get at.

For example, they could be spouting off all kinds of things that perhaps generally you’d be a little offended by or otherwise, but because you hold this certain special spot for them in your little heart, you let it slide. But the whole time, in the back of your mind you know you’d probably be annoyed if you didn’t have just a huge boner for them.

Furthermore, ever noticed how when you’ve got the love goggles on, whoever that respective person is, they’re like, 100x more attractive than they’d be if you didn’t have a raging erection for them? They could be your average person walking down the street, but because your brain decided to, oh I don’t know, glorify this person, you find them to be God’s gift to Earth. And it gets better. If you get close enough, they start to smell good too. Regardless of whether or not they’re sprayin’ Axe all over themselves – pheromones are a-waftin’ in your direction and they smell like 37 pounds of pure, unadulterated sexual tension. 

I didn’t mention Cupid & Psyche in this post whatsoever, but look at them. They’re so into each other, you could serve the tension in an ice cube tray.

And then all you can think about is all kinds of various scenarios with this person in your head. From the obvious sexual ones to the “holy crap am I really planning a wedding, kids, and home life with this person in my mind right now?” thoughts. Don’t forget the meeting the parents, showering together, cooking adventures, back to sex, witty banter conversations, what it might be like to sleep in the same bed, more sexualness, traveling together, etc etc etc – all rushing through your mind in a mere split second the moment you see them walk in a room or catch yourself getting a whiff of their pheromones. And all you want to do is cut that sexual tension with a knife and spatulate (YEAH I MADE THAT WORD UP) that shit on a plate with some whipped cream and a bing cherry on top and serve it.

But you have to sit there and bite your tongue and endure not entirely knowing whether or not you’re imagining the sexual tension because you can’t just ask, that’s awkward. You have to beat around the bush and play stupid little games and worry yourself a little sick wondering whether or not they reciprocate your feelings, hoping and praying and really wanting to believe that your brain isn’t tricking you into believing they like you back because you like them so much that you’re starting to lull yourself into seeing what you want to see.

Yes, love/lust is interesting. But it’s worse not knowing whether that person reciprocates your feelings because you feel like you’re constantly being pulled along this fish line with no definite answer. At least then you can grieve about it and move on if they don’t. Right? It hurts, but it’s true.

ETA: I completely forgot to add what happens after the love/lust goggles come off. Are you ready for this? You come to your damn senses and realize that person isn’t actually that hot, they’re not actually that smart or witty, and you wonder to yourself, what the hell was I thinking? AND THEN YOU DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!

DTRO & Felicity Review

Let me start by first showing off a wonderful picture taken this morning in downtown Royal Oak of myself and Betsy. I took her and Mindy to DTRO because it’s a cute little niche location in the Metro Detroit area and there’s lots of wonderful boutiques to go to. We walked around and went into various Washington Ave stores, making sure to stay clear of the ever-judgmental American Apparel, and pay a visit to Paris.

And now for a relatively brief review of the series Felicity, which I finished watching last night. If you haven’t seen it and think you might want to see it, DON’T READ THE FOLLOWING. SPOILER ALERT RIGHT HERE.

So if you’ve been reading this blog for the past several months, you’ve probably seen me mention various Felicity episodes, and you’ll know that I was really into the show when I started watching it. I still am, don’t get me wrong! I really wish they would’ve continued it past college and made more than 4 seasons, but oh well. Anyway, I was happy when they got rid of Julie (the pink Power Ranger) at the beginning of season 3, and was happier when they started integrating Meghan into the show more. She ended up being Felicity’s best friend and I thought that was a really good covert “twist.” 

But the important part is the whole Felicity-Ben-Noel love triangle. I was very much 50/50 on who I thought she should end up with. On the one hand, she FOLLOWED BEN to NYC in the hopes of being with him or around him more. On the other hand, Noel was just kind of this…perfect guy for her. But shit got crazy at the end of season 4. For the last 4 or 5 episodes, we’re under the impression that Felicity “travels back in time” after Noel and Zoe’s engagement dinner because she wants to change her choice of picking Ben over Noel after she slept with Noel on the roof in the first episode of season 4. 

This leads us down a whole little series of ending episodes where she’s desperately trying to get back to the future, but at the same time making it work with Noel. Unfortunately, due to the fact that when you travel back in time and make a different choice, all other previous things that happened aren’t guarunteed to happen again. So she encounters all kinds of unforeseen problems, the last of which is Noel dying in the fire that took place in the middle of the season. In the original history, Elena dies (after college) in a car crash, so Noel’s death is kind of the balancer in the equation. She tracks down the author of the book where Meghan got the spell to send her back in time in the very last episode, and she tells him her whole college story. She ends up getting back to the future, but we find out that she was in fact just passed out with a fever and dreaming all of it and Noel is still alive, but Elena’s still dead. And she finally ends up forgiving Ben for cheating on her and they end up together and the series ends with slo-mo scenery from Noel and Zoe’s wedding. 

Overall, I was mildly disappointed in the finale because it wasn’t as heart-wrenching as I feel it should’ve been, but at the same time, I’m glad it ended on a relatively happy note. While she was dreaming, there was a part where Noel broke up with her and said that she’ll never love him like she loves Ben. All I could think about was how incredibly true that was. She harbored intensely deep feelings for Ben that she would probably never get over. In a way I think it’s really sweet and romantic, and in another way, if she hadn’t ended up being with Ben at the end of the series, it would’ve been…unresolved. 

Anyway, I need to go do some homework that I forgot about. I might explode this weekend with how much I have to do.

Meeting Friends and Stuff.

So, I just met my longtime online friend Betsy (and her friend Mindy who I also know, but not as well) for the very first time in person today. It’s still a little surreal and exciting and strange, but I think we get along pretty well in real life. Sure there were some “lulls” in the conversation (in fact, she told me that apparently there was a research study done that concluded that approximately every 7 minutes, there are “lulls” in conversations) but it’s pretty easy to talk to her – and it should be, after the 8 or 9 years we’ve talked on messengers nearly every night!

Normally this would be the part where I would share a cute photo of said event, but I only took 3 pictures so far, and I am in none of them (not that it really matters whether I’m in them or not, but I care) so I hope tomorrow or the next I might have some to share. I’m still so excited! I was surprised that they’re both shorter than I am, especially Mindy, who I also imagined to be at least a couple incher taller than me. But it’s still so cool to finally meet both of them, in particular Betsy, after knowing each other in the online world for so long. It’s kind of like pen pals way back in the day, but in the virtual age.

Anyway, so there’s a month left until our final garments are due for the fashion show. Alyza and I have to entirely create all of our outfits. We’re about halfway done with the two piece set because we’re doing it for one of our classes. And then we have to set to work to figure out how to construct the other 2…my brain might literally explode. This is going to be quite an adventure, I can just tell. Last night we go the fabrics for the dresses and thank SWEET BABY JESUS for Joann’s coupons cause we saved about $95, but still spent $139. She blames it on my expensive taste – to which I have to say that I can’t help that Dupioni silk moves and looks amazing.

And now it’s time to watch the last episode of Felicity. Full series review coming up tomorrow, most likely!