I have a philosophy on life that goes like this: to acknowledge is to ignite the fire that yearns to burn.
I often try to remind myself of this, in various phrasings, as a mantra to help me stay positive. Sometimes I slip, like any human does. Getting back to work this weekend has been one of those times. The longer I work in retail, the more I find myself beginning to dislike, to hate, to loathe people. I find myself spilling out negative energy, and it’s like I can actually feel it pouring out of me. Like it’s some kind of sentient cloud surrounding my body. And I hate it.
And I hate that I let myself absorb the negative energy from people. And I hate that I dwell on it. And I hate that it consumes me.
Today my horoscope suggested I start meditating as a way to center myself. I’ve actually considered doing that for a long time, so it was kind of a nice prod in the back. The last time I seriously meditated was pretty wonderful and I felt much better after doing it. I remember being in a sort of trance, like when I’ve been under hypnosis, and not being entirely sure if I was in a trance or not.
The only way forward is to think positively, to smile through the pain, to push out the negativity. To pull it off my body like spiderwebs clinging to every inch of me. I refuse to be pulled down by other people’s energies! I am not fit to harbor negativity.