Life Choices and Sore Throats. That’s What She Said?

Have I mentioned finals suck? Cause they do. Granted, I do only have one left, but I still need to finish my tech pack and do finishing touches – STILL on everything. I just spent about 2 hours redoing my flats and sketches for apparel production. But thank sweet baby Jesus I’m done with fashion design 2. That was just a fucking riot of a class and not in a good way. I can’t wait for Friday afternoon, that is all.

Also, I think I’m officially sick. My throat is all sore and my nose is a wee bit plugged up and I keep sneezing. This is extremely annoying. The most annoying part is the throat though. I keep trying to soothe it and it’s being a douchecanoe. Argh. And tea with honey (tea any other way is unacceptable) = 2 Weight Watchers points. So I have to dip into my buffer points for it cause chinese used up all my daily points. I am so uncomfortable right now. My room smells like a giant fucking candle too. I burned a candle the entire time I was working on my flats and sketches and it stunk up everything. Thank god the air outside smells extra fresh tonight.

Anyway, Day 18 (My mom’s bday!): What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
I think I’m going to have to say nothing because I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven anything that was significantly “tragic” or relatedly so. Which sounds incredibly counter-productive to my life, right? I don’t really find that it is. I mean, if you choose to put yourself in the position that we’re not going to be friends anymore because you’re a complete asshat and you’ve done something unforgivable, don’t expect me to be like OH HONEY IT’S OKAY. Because it’s not. So why the fuck should I forgive you? Because it’s better for ME to “forgive and forget“? No. It doesn’t work like that. I’ll never forget. Over many years I may consider forgiving, but I will, never, and I mean, never forget. Now, this logic completely clashes with my ideas on life. I’ve said it before, I will never claim to not be a hypocrite. I strive to achieve certain balances in my life. I TRY to forgive. But some things are hard to forgive or unforgivable. And I realize that I probably SHOULD forgive – but I can move on with my life without having to forgive (in certain situations). Others, I feel like I’m expected to forgive. So I don’t, in spite. Aaah, life choices.

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