Andrea Gibson, Where Have You Been All My Life?!

I’ve had this window open for at least an hour in an effort to get myself to write. In the middle of page like, 100, on my Tumblr dash, I finally said fuck it, let’s do this. It’s 10:30, it’s about damn time.

Let me start off by saying I updated Vivography today, so go check it out to see what’s new. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that one of the commentators on today’s post seems to run a rather awesome feminist blog that led me to this amazing video of Katie Makkai reciting the slam poem ‘Pretty’. Which led me onwards to other slam poetry and I happened to discover the amazingness that is Andrea Gibson.

She’s a lesbian poet with the most fantastic arsenal of verbiage. People like her inspire me to try harder in fucking everything! She also swears enough to satisfy my quota of “fucks” in one day. (That’s not to say I’m one of those people who doesn’t know how to carry a sentence without swearing, but every now and then you just need the proverbial FUCK in there to make a point a little more clear.) Regardless, I want to be her best friend. I want to listen to her speak in poems all day long. Actually, I want someone to write poems about me in general, in case you were wondering. I write poems about various people (or to them, as never-delivered letters of emotion) all the time. I’d love to have that happen to me too.

I really love the poem in the video. I think she did a good job of portraying the crude injustices homosexual people have to endure, but on a very personal level. I think it’s absolutely terrible that anyone should be shunted from a dying person’s bed because they’re gay. I mean…where does mentality like that come from? Who’s idea is it to deny a person these beautiful privileges because of their sexual orientation? That seems like such an archaic way of though. I often find myself thinking that this world is so incredibly fucking fucked up that it doesn’t even realize how fucked up it is. Of course, that’s not to say that there are not people out that such as myself who see these things too and agree with me – because I know there are. I make an effort to surround myself with those people because I’d probably be suicidal in a sea of narrow-minded idiots.

Funny enough, a friend posted this on Facebook and it’s completely relevant:

Now if only more people could follow suit and understand this. Just because gay people are gay doesn’t mean it’s going to affect you. It’s a pretty simple concept. OPEN YOUR MINDS.

And now, Day 5: What are 5 things that make you happy right now?
1. Is it creepy and ridiculous to say HNI? Because I can’t even lie about that one. I mean honestly. Sometimes people just walk into your life and light it up like a ten million fireflies.
2. My newest stations on Pandora. (Alexandra Stan and *NSYNC)
3. MY RUBY RED HAIR. I LOOK LIKE A FOX! We have mirrors that take up the length of our bathroom and while I was in there earlier I thought about how my dad always calls me a vulpe (fox) when I dye my hair in Romanian and that it’s kind of true.
4. The thought that there’s only 2 weeks left of classes and then SPRING BREAK!!! Although the former part is kind of a little scary. So much work to do!
5. Easter preparations beginning in my house. My mom made 2 desserts today. I gotta cook/bake things tomorrow and Saturday. And I have to do kistka eggs. Among final projects for school. I might pass out.



  1. You mentioned that you like to write poems as never-delivered letters of emotion… maybe you can write one to me after this and I’d take it like a man :)

    So, you say that just because gay people are gay, I ought not to worry because it won’t affect me. But if I being gay is morally wrong then perhaps it may affect me and it would be logical to not approve of it. The real question is not whether we should be against homosexuality, but whether it is immoral.

    I am not comparing honor killings to homosexuality but bear with my analogy: We think that honor killings are morally wrong so we are against them. I also do not want people who promote honor killings to be close friends with my children because I am afraid the mindset may be a contagious. Now to carry the analogy. I have a deep love for people in general. I am extremely compassionate. However, if an act is morally reprehensible then it is only right to oppose it. I can oppose behavior without degrading the person. In my eyes, I approach it the same way that I would approach an alcoholic: with love and respect but with enough distance that it will not adversely affect my family.

    I’m ready for the poem now…


    1. So you think being gay is immoral? Because IMO, that doesn’t make much of a difference between whether you’re against homosexuality or you think it’s “immoral”. I mean, you’re coming to the same basic conclusion there. The idea that homosexuality is “immoral” seems closed-minded to me. I simply cannot understand how anyone can find homosexuality as morally reprehensible. Love is love. Love does not, and SHOULD NOT discriminate. Killing people is an entirely different subject, regardless of whether it’s an “honor” killing or not. You’re taking a life away. Homosexuality isn’t doing anything except spreading rainbows and adding more love to the world. And by god, does this world need it.


  2. Yeah, first of all I didn’t say homosexuality is the same thing as honor killing, obviously we know that isn’t true. It was an analogy and I prefaced it by saying “don’t misunderstand”. Only an analogy so if you didn’t see the analogy then you missed my point completely.

    As for homosexuality, that is, perhaps, a deeper issue. You say it is morally right, I say it is morally wrong. On what do you base your morals? From what do you decide “This is right” and “This is wrong”? Maybe those questions will provide us a better answer to the overall question about the morality of homosexuality.

    By the way, I understand what you mean about hating gay people. I just want to reiterate that my life’s pursuit is in loving people. Please don’t read this as bragging but even with people who are immoral, I do not simply dismiss them as “below” me or not worthy of my love or my time. Perhaps the problem is that too many people have done just that and forgotten to “show the love”. Now, when I say “love”, I mean that love that is deeper than mere kindness. Kindness is simply doing whatever will make someone comfortable. For children, kindness is the worst kind of parenting. This means you shove junk food into your kids mouths, you inundate them with the television, you bow to their every whim as a consumer, you pander to their emotions etc etc. When we love our children, we want them to become good adults and sometimes it means shaping them to be responsible. So if I ground my kid or a spank him, it does not mean that I do not love them. I just wanted to throw that out there as a quick explanation that love is “something more terrible and splendid than mere kindness.”

    But let me know about your basis for morality and perhaps we can go from there. By the way, thanks for the reasonable dialogue… it is hard to come by.


    1. Yes, I realize you did not say homosexuality is the same as honor killings. And yes, I know you said it in an analogical way. But it was still said, and analogies are basically eloquent comparisons, in which case, I personaly believe I’m right in saying that homosexuality and honor killings are two different things that require two different approaches.

      Furthermore, homosexuality may be a deeper issue to YOU but it is not a deeper issue to me. I do not see it as a threatening thing whatsoever. As to what I base my morals on – I’m pretty sure that’s a complex scientific and neurological process that cannot simply be explained in layman’s terms. I certainly do not base them on any sort of biblical book if that’s what you’re looking for me to say.

      Lastly, if your life’s pursuit is in loving people, how much do you love gay people? Do you love them less because they’re gay? Because that would be pretty contradictory to such a spiring life pursuit.


  3. First, analogies do not equate things in the same way that you are saying. I do not equate honor killings to homosexuality and if you read too much into any analogy then you can break it down. I could’ve used grasshoppers or spaceships but I tried to compare two things of a moral nature.

    It is not “a deeper issue” to me only but to a huge population of people not in one nation but around the world. So you can’t dismiss this as a non-issue simply because it isn’t a big deal to you and it ought not to be for other people. Also, to say that it is a complex scientific/neurological process that cannot be explained in layman’s terms… try me, I know enough about science and medicine to keep up an intelligent conversation.

    Also, I do not ask you to base anything on a biblical book. I asked you to explain where you base your morals. Everyone who breathes bases their morality on something and I was just asking where you base it. For instance, if you are, say, a muslim then you will believe that morality is based on what Allah commands. If you are a naturalist, you believe that all that exists is what can be scientifically proven, therefore you base your morality on science. If you are a mormon, then you base your morality on the teachings of Joseph Smith. So the question was simple and pointed: Where do you base your morality?

    How much do I love gay people? As much as straight people, that is how much. I thought I made that clear. I don’t love them less. Would you say that you hate anyone that you think are morally incorrect? I mean, do you go and jeer at alcoholics? Do you throw eggs at people who are greedy? Do you burn the houses of the selfish? Nah, I love them as much as anyone else.


    1. I completely understand that it is “a deeper issue” to a “huge population of people” around the world, but that doesn’t justify it. And it shouldn’t justify it.
      In terms of where I base my morals, in comparison to your examples, I guess you could say I base mine on my own observations and experiences and teachings and learnings from the world around me.
      Furthermore, and I should’ve said this in the beginning of this discussion, I really don’t see why this should have anything to do with morality. Homosexuality is not a moral issue except in the eyes of those who feel the need to define it as such.
      Also, if you love gay people as much as any other person, then how can you say they are immoral and full of wrongness? I do not understand where the disconnect happens.
      By the way, you are barking up the most wrong of trees with this discussion, in case you were wondering. We clearly disagree, and your view points are not going to make any sort of dent into mine, nor do I have the patience or time to believe that mine are going to dent yours. Happy Easter!


      1. I don’t doubt I was barking up the wrong tree. I enjoy the dialogue and I thought it would be an interesting view from the “other side”.

        As far as homosexuality being a moral issue, you are quite mistaken. It is certainly a moral issue and it isn’t because “I choose” to view it that way anymore than “I choose” to view cushioned seat as a couch. If it is not a moral issue, then what kind of issue is it? Civil rights, you say? Civil rights is the political term for morality.

        So if you base your morals on your learnings, experiences, observations etc then why do you call me, someone who knows homosexuality is wrong, wrong? I mean, if my morals are based on the same thing, then on what grounds can you say that I “ought” to think of them in any other way? This is why morality must be objective, because if it is subjective then there is no way to set a standard at all. How can I say “you ought not to kill your friend” if our morality is only based on our environment? What if it is ok in our environment to kill our friend?

        Just some thoughts. Hope your Easter went well.

      2. I can tell you enjoy the dialogue. It seems you feed off arguing over this issue.

        And no, I most certainly am not completely mistaken about homosexuality being a moral issue, because as I’ve said before, it isn’t. And as I’ve said before, it is only a moral issue to those who wish to define it as such. And yes, you do choose to view it that way because you choose to define it as a moral issue. I do not, therefore it is not a moral issue to me. I do not believe or care to accept your belief that civil rights = morality. They may derive from a common factor in some people’s eyes, but they are essentially two different things. Morality is often based on religious/spiritual beliefs, civil rights are law based things. And unless my American K-12 education taught me incorrectly, these two things must be separate. Therefore, I find your argument invalid.

        And now, I think we must agree to disagree because this is getting old.

  4. That is a jump. You go from not knowing me to knowing exactly what I “feed” off of. Nice.

    Morality does not equal religious/spiritual. Plenty of atheists (maybe you are one) believe that they can be “moral” without being “spiritual”. Many of my atheistic friends are this way and I think that is valid. Civil Rights is exactly what the law says is moral. A civil right is only a moral “right” that the government says all men have. So life, love, and the pursuit of happiness by African-Americans was a morality that the government legislated. Your definitions are all outta whack. But I’ll leave this to simmer.



Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s