Tonight I want to talk a little philosophically about karma and the energy you put out. Let me preface this by telling you all a story of what I experienced before lunch. This girl asked me to help this lady who often comes up to the library with a very bad attitude, with a computer problem she was having. First of all, it’s not my job to help with that since I don’t work in IT, but whatever – I try to help out if it’s something minor, and it was, it was just a printing problem.
She was huffing and puffing about having to print something 4 times cause the first three times the paper fucked up as well as the way the type came out and she forgot to put her name on her shit. I had her print again and it came out fine. She seemed worried that it’s eating her printing money and I said it’s only like 30 cents (60 for the 4 pages she printed) and she gets $50.00 every term. Unless you’re printing books on some other crazy shit, you’re really not gonna blow through all that fucking money by printing 4 goddamn pages. Well, as soon as I mentioned that it was ONLY 30 cents she got super offended and rearing her bad attitude monster, bitching at me that in my world 30 cents isn’t a lot. And I said no, in my world and everyone else’s worlds 30 cents is nothing when you have fifty fucking dollars a term to print shit. I told her I had $30 left and it’s almost end of term. She just kept going on and on about how I was audacious to say that 30 cents is nothing (in less articulate words, mind you).
I just walked away and signed out and then cried like a damn child in J1B’s cubicle for half an hour. I mean like a DAMN CHILD – I kept crying and stopping and crying and stopping. At one point I thought I might choke on my sandwich cause I was starting to cry again. I was already feeling stupidly emotional before she got all cunty with me. She was the icing on top of an emotional cake. And so, in terms of karma I want to say this: I try my best not to wish bad things on people because I don’t want bad things to happen to me (karmic cycle here, people) however, if you’re a fucking bitch all the time, and especially to people who are trying to help you out, then you deserve every single motherfucking bad thing that comes your way because you’re putting out that energy.
I wholeheartedly believe in karma, and so I believe she’ll get what she deserves. But it is not okay to subject other people to your negativity. Now, I am a hypocrite in this because I have done that before – HOWEVER, I acknowledge it and desperately try not to do that because it’s destructive to not only the people who get the fire, but to my own being. And I don’t want to live that way.
That said, at the very end of my work day, HNI popped up out of the abyss again and I can’t even begin to tell you guys how happy that made me, especially after what happened today. And if you’re reading this right now here’s a huge thank you and the biggest virtual hug I can give you. You didn’t do anything except show up and I can’t even begin to explain how much that brightened my day. Here’s another lesson for today guys: Be someone others will swell with happiness to see. You never know how much you mean to a person!